i don't need a boyfriend, just need a guy who can fix stuff

my curtain rod broke so I have to go back to this "guys live like this" ass setup until my dad fixes it

don't need a boyfriend, just need a guy who will let me get dressed up all nice and take me places

this came to me in a dream #art #eldenring

Bird for my father.

I'm watching "Lisa the Simpson" and I'm just now realizing she's wearing Homer's muumuu

I'm going to become a satanists because God doesn't want me to get laid again

Castle Posting: they accuse the one that's not a cop of racial profiling

do any unmarried 30 or 40 year old men wanna let me bounce on it?

I hate when people sit next to me but then this buff tall guy smiled at me and I became weaker than tissue paper in a rainstorm

work bad, don't want to leave big soft blanky

all 3 of them

we got Roo a halo

HAPPY WAPEACH I MEAN MARIO DAY

saw this on tumblr and it's literally so true woah

in retrospect it's wild that I dated a guy who was not interested in giving or receiving oral and now every guy I talk to is like "If I die while eating a girl out, it's the Lord's will and also I would enjoy if you gave me a blowjob."

my true calling was to be a nymph consorting with the gods under the moonlight

I've been binging og Animaniacs and I fucking love Buttons and Mindy, "Okay lady I love you buh bye" is something I said a bunch when I was little

I'm like 85% sure I'd inherit my mom's road rage if I learned to drive lmao

yeah im into bdsm (bad decisions & spending money)

I'm very standoffish at first but I swear once you get to know me I'm fun and chill to hang out with and everyone has said I'm worth it.

my sister is really desperate to be the favorite and then gives my parents crap gifts that have don't work all the time

Calvin was right when he said life could be a lot better

maybe I'm stupid but I don't understand how bombing countries for oil is a choice worth making when there's other sources of energy and the option to not bomb countries exist

I'm sure it's fine that everything in the world is on the brink of destruction and we just all go to work like normal

there's some internet personalities I know very very very little about and I'd like to keep it that way

she loves hanging out on my vanity seat

crying bc I have to wake up at 5:30am

I have too many dresses but I won't be stopped

you can't work on the railroad just to pass the time away anymore because of woke

You know what I liked was when Biden had that awful dog that kept biting people

you can slut shame all you want but I'll still have friends who want to rail me until I can't walk or talk and you'll still have people who don't hit you up when you're sad.

Okay first of all third spaces are increasingly uncommon in our society so check yourself

The barista made an exception for me and let me order coffee even though they were technically closed and then gave me a large cold brew for the price of a medium

boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, that's why I sext on company time

Annie scratched my arm the other night and now it hurts when my clothes rub against but my other option was a short sleeve shirt and everyone asking what happened.

fucked up they make international women's day on the day we lose an hour more like women's 23 hours smh men

whenever there's a character who was abandoned by their dad, and another character eventually learns he'll be a dad and is stressed about being a dad, the abandoned character will go "Well you care, that's already better than my dad"

Castle Posting: They find a baby and Castle immediately starts spoiling it

world sucks, just want to get high with a guy and show him my boobs

u can just tell your kids "sometimes boys like kissing boys and girls like kissing girls" and thats it.

nothing matters anymore so the bank should just give me a massive loan so I can get super big breast implants.

we need to take these fuckers and [TERMS OF SERVICE VIOLATION GOES HERE]

I learned something today

I'm at that age where the things that are bad for me feel worse and the things that are good for me feel really good.

"Look at Mr. What A Difference A Day Makes ovah here!"

the neighborhood likes letting their cats wander about and so we always get cats hanging out under the plants outside the house