The Columbus Dispatch has done the formerly unthinkable and powered up its heavy-duty pussy magnet

if i died on Mount Everest my body's nickname would be Jorts Guy

The first three Evil Dead films are great because they're filled with inventiveness and imagination.

Down here we call this a two-fer...

Da best of da best! Really looking forward to new Vera.

I think I was five or six (?). I actually don't remember exactly how I felt when I watched it, but I do remember going to the public pool immediately afterwards and being terrified to leave the shallow end, even though I knew how to swim.

It is the dawn of a new era. Hear our battle anthem. Welcome to the new InfoWars.

@criterionchannl.bsky.social seeing the regular Criterion collection doesn't post on Blue Sky, so I'm throwing this your direction: can we expect a complete Jackass box set from Criterion now that things have finally concluded? Legit question, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

Chris Pontius is my favorite jackass and also the best jackass

Brad Lander upon learning of this news: "my eyes are open and we have made a terrible mistake, we cannot afford to lose Carville. I withdraw my victory immediately."

Officially challenging the Widow's Bay team to meet this exact tone by the final season.

One thing I think the arts organizations in Austin could maybe stand to do a little more frequently is to hold an event in honor of Robert Rodriguez, I'm kind of surprised about how that basically never happens.

The real life Wienerschnitzel mascot looks like it came straight out of an A24 horror movie where it was designed to let you know that something deeply unsettling is going on at this hot dog restaurant

The show gets renamed Doctor Hoot and it's just fictional webcam footage of a large Parrot with big human lips named "Doctor Hoot" that lives in the endless void of Stephen King's short story "The Jaunt"

It's hard to watch the team you're rooting for do an Icarus maneuver and lose by one point, but congratulations to the Knicks, one of the 11 professional sports teams NYC has available to root for, I hope David Zaslav as well as some of the other most privileged people on the planet are having fun.

A whale fall is when a dead whale descends to the ocean floor and an entire ecosystem forms around the decomposing body that acts as a deep sea oasis, sustaining life for decades and even centuries. Shame on Hollywood for declaring it's when a man gets accidentally swallowed into a sperm whale gut.

Knicks 13-game playoff win streak comes to an end after Trump attends game 3 of the NBA Finals.

Hahaha! Trump you little bitch you cursed the game and now everyone in New York City hates you! Get fucked you dumpy bag of rotten, maggot-infested dog shit! You moldy, nearly-dead loser!

Sure the Knicks are good, but unfortunately for them, The Spurs have finally once again collected the seven magic stones of Gorgagor, the elven shadow cloke, and cast the silencing spell on the wall of Nazogorth, and so the white wizard Popovich shall once again unleash the creature Frankenslam.

New rule, if you're a "how is diversity our strength???" dipshit you are not allowed to root for the team whose star player is an agnostic biracial frenchman representing a majority hispanic city bsky.app/profile/eric...

MONSTER MOVIES ARE BACK!

Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼

AI can never replace a man with basic Photoshop and Adobe Premiere skills and a silly idea.

This is gonna be a fuckin awesome NBA Finals. No heels.

Devin Faraci level comment

The president appears to be entering the stages of his final form as the spider version of Pennywise the Dancing Clown from the IT (1990) television miniseries

I'm pretty sure if the Spurs go to the Finals and win, Pop will evaporate and become a Force Ghost

And if you want to say "Ooh Mama! Wembanyama!" out loud in a moment of excitement, like the announcers sometimes do, the first two words are canonically pronounced exactly like in this helpful video: youtu.be/oOgpnidwPiQ?...

Madonna of Milk Enthroned with Child, by Jean Fouquet, 1452-55 (flipped)

I've been kind of skeptical about the late night talk show format for a while now, but there was a "class clown" joy to Colbert that I think never approached good satire, but also felt mildly - at best - angry. Anyway, this is my favorite thing I ever saw on his show: youtu.be/T_qkVPZ8DJI?...

This is one of the great American movies and if you've never seen it, make room to check it out. I'm gonna go with John Wilson and Nathan Fielder as comps over Moore and Spurlock, though, just to keep things complimentary 🙂

C'mon guys let's give the Timberwolves 5 points. They're trying their best, let's give 'em a little boost. It's just 5 points.

C'mon guys let's give the Timberwolves 5 points. They're trying their best, let's give 'em a little boost. It's just 5 points.

this is worse than “we were just following orders” evil which is quite evil, it’s “we were just following our own interpretation of words that actually have historically been interpreted the opposite way” evil, there is no way to absolve agency here, my god

We’ve been told our content needs to be more informative so here you go

If you have ever seen a roadrunner then you know what he is a ridiculously tiny coyote. Or else the roadrunner is ridiculously large. It is hard to decide which is worse. Both situations reveal a terrible biological ignorance on the part of the mean-spirited charlatans at Looney Tunes.

Happy #AlienDay

This clip has taken on a whole new resonance. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGEn...

Tim Duncan looks like he's on the Elder Council of Zion in the Matrix movies

I'm not anywhere close to the caliber of comedy writers for The Onion but maybe there's a headline out there somewhere about Trump announcing a mission to find and kill Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox, just thinking out loud here thanks for any consideration @bencollins.bsky.social

One thing I recommend to everyone is if you want Taco Bell, order everything vegetarian. I'm not a vegetarian, but this is the path. They're the most actively pro-vegetarian major fast food restaurant out there, and their menu is fully marked for it or can be modified. Great way to avoid diarrhea.

For Spurs fans excited about the upcoming potential championship team, this is - canonically - how you correctly pronounce the first two words of "OOH MAMA WEMBANYAMA"

Disgraceful

A mid-level goon in The Merovingian Organization in THE MATRIX RELOADED

The "Our Dumb Century" Nixon Trilogy has always been one of my favorites