Aw man, a poor pidgeo- nope, that is a tshirt

The weekly watch

I watched the new Lord of the Flies over the weekend and I gotta say, uh... probably not the best prep for the last 3 weeks of school.

Bisexuals everywhere rejoice

Oh damn, is this a petard? Am I hoisted, chat?

I was cursed by a witch at birth so that whenever I have a problem, I need to yell/whine "I'm not smart enough!!" 3 times and then the solution will come to me 🥴✨

Folks if you know my thoughts on Jammies Dodgers, you know I'm excited to see this

Artists if you see this post a bird. 🪶 Any art form; no-AI

Wordz, yo

I guess I'm doing at least one thing right at the moment

🤏

Me tonight

Please wish me luck for 4/20 at the middle school 😬👍

A new rival enters: Jamaican woman calling you 'mama'

Omfg I had forgotten that Lou Bega included the sequel to Mambo No. 5 in the very same album only 3 songs later. It's the same song but worse. Incredible. I hope only good things for Lou Bega.

Anyone wanna talk to me about The Pitt? *Shoots glare at Reddit* NOT you

McDonald's drive thru ✨vibes✨

Depression in paradise 🌴

It's Friday night baby

Yay

Is this anything?

Nothin hits quite as hard as a southern woman calling you 'darlin'

😅

A rewatch of The Pitt has made me realize there is a 6 7 mention in almost every episode

Would you like the Onion Turtle or the Pummeluff?

Me when

Absolutely everyone and their son and dad are talking about Zoom's House comic

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

A haiku for you: Rain fattens the lake The porch is my front row seat Sky refilling earth

I've always been this way

Henceforth if you try to chat me up at a gas station, my name will be Mulva. Look out

😍

Around here they call me "Miss, do you have candy??"

Oh noooo someone ran over a poor little--- O That is a wig in the road

I am plagued by those three syllables Chungus Gunge I'm singing it instead of "Jitterbug" in the Wham song

My mom: "See, look, there's the teeth of a fish who never stopped sucking her thumb."

My cylindrical son Gurm is so based he went to the Louvre and ordered a motorcycle. The docents were shocked! They said "This is a museum." Gurm said "then I'll have medicine?" The docents realized he was bleeding from his ear. "This child has been neglected," they said as he was tended to. #sigma

Example #74928 why I hate making plans: Whole week of fun and things I needed to get done during spring break, sidelined by 4+ days of flu and fever

In more lighting news, I've updated my curtain lights to ceiling lights. Exciting new 5% chance that a string will hit me while I'm journaling on the porch!

Not even 10am and I've seen a man o' war, a nip slip, and a dad treat his 2 year old like a sentient hurdle bar. Woooooo spring break!

Good morning 🌞

I only write drafts when I'm too high on edibles and I only remember to laugh at them when I'm high on edibles but I only want to post them when I'm not high on edibles so that I can know that they are funny without being high on edibles but I can never remember that I have drafts when I'm not h

MLOMFIC (My legs only move for ice cream)

In case you missed it in the STELLATHON, @katbrush.art made a video performing/singing several of my posts and it is incredible, please watch it (pt 2 in replies)