I mean being skinny is cool but so are weed and snacks sometimes

Like why is Smokey the Bear so fuckable? #macysthanksgiving

saw a trampoline jumping on a trampoline. shit is getting wild

I’m not the Dub Step, I’m the Dub who Stepped up.

Reminding myself for later. Year 2025.5 Short term goal: work on Robert Stack impression. Long term goal: work on chicken fritter recipe.

I'm still a record label, I'm still in bands; I'm just mentally ill and don't feel like promoting right now or this year. It'll get better, it'll all get better.

sometimes I get high and unfriend my family on facebook

Senator Handsome Squidward

I cannot risk any more followers

I’m no fan of Trump but I very much enjoy yelling out “Everything’s Computer!” And “He’s taking the Fat Shot!” Because of him

Gonna make bumper stickers that just say OKLAHOMOSEXUAL

“Bill ASM Maher” ASMR videos by Bill Maher. Literally the worst business idea I’ve had. When you want to be bored to death by the creepy over-confident intellectual who doesn’t understand the concept of “read the room” and self awareness.

They make crocs in shoulder bag form now.

Happy Birthday my sweetest boy @luke.grangertheband.com Replacing the pinned tweet from a twitter account I deleted.

thought I was watching joe rogan but it was just one of those rotating hot dogs at 7-11

I wanted a president with sick riffs, not taRiffs.

I'll say it. The UK has always been more punk than the US of A. www.youtube.com/watch?v=muod...

Howard Nut Lick.

If you want to know how much capitalism sucks, just look at how much it costs to die in America

schumer the fuck bag piss boy trash can licker

Everything’s Computer

Normie brain rot is just “Young Sheldon” and that new Tim Allen show.

Hey! Up to 3 minute videos now! Alright, let’s work through my backlog - here’s one of my favorites from Parsons Kansas - The Cosmic Bean with their song “Spice Girls” #emo #skatepunk #localmusic #listentothis #follow #thecosmicbean

I actually don’t want this responsibility any more, I would just rather have my email account back. Does anyone want my Mark McGrath Bluesky account? Comes with 1100 followers.

God’s not dead, he’s just gay.

Band names that I wish were real / become real - Day 1 PROTO-GOONER (North Midwest Industrial Crunk)

I realize this is probably my hottest take ever, but the fact that I just got to switch my Netflix profile picture to a fiber art Bulbasaur kinda makes the price increase worth it. #isaidwhatisaid

Patiently waiting for more Q drops

Treating Christians like they treat gay people; like it’s okay for you to be Christian - just don’t do it in front of me or introduce it to my kids

Wait, her name is January LittleJohn? What a coincidence, my name is February Robinhood!

VP of Universal Music Group at the first system of a down showcase

Prediction: Trump is going to try to get his face on Mount Rushmore

If a man wants to show you a YouTube video, it means you’re friends now.

Every day I have to hear about some asshole

When you think about it, “Live Free, Eat Sonic” is such a bat shit crazy slogan to have - like this is the forgiver of inhibitions

USB-C: 🚀 we created one cable to replace all! 🤖 oh ya each cable charges at a different speed, and others do data, there's also thunderbolt! and don't forget video... ⁉️ tell them apart? no they all look exactly the same! even your computer can't tell you the difference! isn't that great!

Liberals, I have a question. I’m new to anime; why are the lyrics in the intro so dark and depressing while the music is the joyful and uplifting?

pizza fried rice

lol Donald Trump really fucking up my retirement

[me cheering bro up who is crying about being ugly] u are good looking dude. you're hot enough to shoot a ceo

does cowboy church have rodeo clowns

The My Pillow Guy hasn't been appointed to anything yet. Just saying.

*violently throws up

18 year olds are still doing punk stuff in this town and that’s cool as fuck

May your sons be tall

Caught a guy peeing on my cybertruck. You're wasting your time idiot, it was already covered in piss from all the other people who did that today

I come from the old kingdom. Trump will never be our king. BOXXY will always be our QUEEN

In my best boomer impression: WHY CATS ONLY SPEAK OIIA?!?! I REMEBER WHEN CATS ONLY SAID I CAN HAZ CHEZBURGER?!?? IS THIS THE FUTIRE LIBrlS WANT?!