two moments where i was clever today

both jons favreau should shut the fuck up

why does kpop demon hunters look like that. did they animate it anticipating you would have motion smoothing on or something?

sports drink

i love waking up high but its the kind of high where you want to clean the whole house

The gap in my resume? Thats where Jesus carried me

time travelling to 1950 to cause a "Gordy's Home" incident of the set of "Bedtime for Bonzo" to prevent Ronald Reagan from becoming president, averting our present day

anthony mackie

elected democrats who want their constituents to remain non-violent in their protests of these abuses must actually offer a path for ending the abuses non-violently. they currently are not as a party and it’s a major problem.

chuck dixon lamenting that "hate has found a home here" on a bill sienkevitch post memorializing scott adams is just

I keep seeing people trying to draw delineations between ICE (bad) and Real Officers of the Law (good) and y'all, there may be some distinctions but every argument ICE is using to justify their murder and destruction came from Real Officers of the Law.

everyone is always trying to fuck the flame atronach; the ice and storm atronachs, consequently, are dealing with some body image issues and feel unworthy of love

scott adams

piss on his gravebert

the first time i watched doctor sleep i didn't clock that rebecca ferguson wasn't carla gugino and thought that between the hat and maybe a special lens or different focal length or other camera technicalities she just looked different in this one. it took until watching Silo last year to figure out

seeing a lot of ostensibly principled leftist support the cia backed regime change being attempted in iran. do better.

"nothing like a celebrity crush instantly fading by them falling for CIA bullshit." -mark david chapman probably

taking a 50mg edible and watching kenneth branagh's hamlet and letting the language blow me away like i'm in a maxell ad

L.L. Cool Bean

"legends"? you mean "feet"?

I got you.

Does anyone know if you're supposed to put ALL the BMX tricks you can do on your OKCupid profile, or just the heavy hitters?

did the flintstones ever make a joke about Rockheap Martin? or Northrock Grumman? or BASALT Systems? or Rocktheon? or General Diatomics?

freed from a crush bc they posted that Robin Hood Men In Tights was funny

libertarian hobbit arguing the age of consent should be lowered to 36

the only things that invite me to learn anymore are advertisements

who do we tweet at when the cinematrix does bullshit? @vulture.com ? it won't pull baz luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet for my Paul Rudd 90s answer

affirmations for being dumped on new years eve

Make a Bond movie casual indexfinger

found out i can still use this phone during a migraine if i turn the brightness all the way down and the nightfilter at max.

scrooge was visited by *four* ghosts, because marley was also dead. learn to count. merry christmas.

turning off a christmas carol as scrooge has his ghost of christmas future breakdown. we get it, he's ruined his life and squandered his christmases. the end no moral. there's like seven minutes left in the movie, you think they're gonna try to put in a twist?

why is tom jones considered rock and roll?

well at least there isn't a project 2026 right?

i almost feel bad for luigi bc following his acquittal it's almost certainly gonna be death by snusnu for him

had a fun dream i hired someone to kill me but they fucked up the "quick" part theyd promised and i got to feel myself bleed out

thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh Is it that sweet? I guess so Say you can't sleep, dattebayo That's that me espresso

a lot of people treat customer service people like a punching bag; i like to take a different tactic, say increasingly depressing/beaten down by your system things until i make them worry that maybe they should call in a wellness check on my IP address.

jokes on the alcohol interests pushing this "scromiting" nonsense, i'm ultra baked and i think scromiting sounds fun

RIP Sy Ableman, you would've loved Balatro

they call him mr bean becoz he can actually find it send tweet

a man, a plan, a canal: canada

text your mom, ask how long to microwave a frozen turkey

watching s2 of Only Murders in the Building and i wouldn't mind if a klieg light fell and killed michael rapaport

are chex miniature waffles

i love the movie Contact but i would go back in time to un-make it if it'd stop the band Tool from forming

getting so high that i turn into vincent d'onofrio in men in black

suburban heero yuy like "all those who are stopped at a green light are my enemy" *self-destructs his Yukon*