omfg i am trying to eat leftovers and post nonsense, fuck i looked at the news

i got heart burn once and it was so bad that i reconstituted my gut biome????? does that sound real?? and now the bugs need heat

“hot honey” needs to be hotter

gonna start telling people my lips are stained with wine and not the truth: that several evenings a week i eat a ton of frozen berries and walnuts and call it “going bear mode” because im convinced enough omega 3s and antioxidants will fix me.

i’m doing the shamrock run next weekend so i can show what 5 miles / 12 beers / 12 tacos looks like. it’s not pretty.

running is a non-issue. drinking 24 beers in 24 hours has to be a legit nightmare. you’re gonna be getting hungover while still drinking.

i think it’s unfair to say MAGA folks can never change. i was the valedictorian of my DARE program in fifth grade.

i have a new life in which i'm not a bureaucrat so i can get back to my true calling: posting 😎

i'm so tired of people in buffalo who are striving for office using a "blue-collar union household" origin story as proof of their knowledge and experience with socio-economic instability. it's usually someone whose parents were well connected in a public sector union. cheap narrative.

AI slop photos are threatening my sense of whimsy. I want this pic of a truck stop cashier with a giant raccoon to be real, but I’ve been burned before. REAL GIANT RACCOONS ONLY.

The Mighty Milkshake Ducks

have you ever had to throw out a potato because it turned green, wrinkled and grew a bunch of disgusting sprouts? anyway i just saw jd vance at the olympics opening ceremony

i’m going to riot if it doesn’t warm up

i’ve been up for 21 hours but i am just spiraling like a cinnamon roll 🌀🌀🌀🌀

leading my walking tour about the tewksbury disaster tonight! on its 67th anniversary! lmk if that interests you

i’m posting to remove the thought from my brain, where it goes after that is really none of my business tbh

who the fuck are these people talking to you want ME to invoke it?

It's a problem that actual elected officials post on social media as if they are powerless observers and commentators.

you ever have a job that crushed your spirits like a situationship with a man who doesn’t own a bed frame?

i frequently eat a cup of frozen berries as a nighttime snack and this habit is staining my dry, wintertime lips and making it look like i’ve been guzzling wine, even though i’m mostly not 🙃

are you a cool person or do you actually love the linkedin games? i have zero connections on the app and only have an account to view job listings and play queens and zip

i feel guilty about not donating blood but occasional routine blood work reminds me that i do not need to be fainting at the blood bank, no one wins and i don’t even have a good blood type

i used to be pretty shy about dancing but one of the least expected things about mid-30s/going through a lot in a short time is that i am much less concerned about how i look dancing. if someone thinks i look uncool dancing (i do!) and wants to do anything other than observe that fact, that’s weird!

i can’t believe i didn’t request tomorrow off work lol

i want to see southtowns snow pics! i’m always nosy where it’s snowy

watching home alone for the first time as an adult and this whole situation with the burglars could have been avoided if someone told the fake cop in the first scene, come back with a warrant

despairing but trying to start keeping track of things i’m grateful. coming up with … i can parallel park without a backup cam???

sending in a 311 complaint three days before christmas and 10 days before the regime change feels like wishing on a star

can’t decide if the move for NYE is $150 all-inclusive ball (a steal, comparatively) or ball out at buffalo wild wings

apple fitness plus feels like workouts for newly corporeal AIs but that’s not a bad thing

just having my every 8 weeks sinus infection and counting down the days until i see an ENT for the first time in my life

listen i didn’t consult with a psychic to learn if i had passed the bar exam, but the wait is excruciating and i’ve venmo’d $50 to an etsy tarot card reader over a situationship so i have no leg to stand on

it must feel soo good for a popcorn to get popped

idk how to explain it but spelling bee bee has star power

gonna try to make “maple leaf corridor” (the amtrak from toronto to nyc through all the small upstate cities) a thing like “acela corridor”

the way the legal profession uses the word cabin as a verb will never feel right to me

I’m generally against “medical aid in dying” laws, but the idea of NY enacting such law at the same time that Medicaid, rural hospitals and nursing homes are at risk makes my stomach turn.

by age 35, you should have a group chat where you can send a link to an adoptable cat website at any hour of the day or night, no questions asked

Yesssss

This has been one of the biggest things the Trump admin has changed my mind about. I used to be indifferent to billionaires, but I no longer find that an option.

if the supreme court makes it illegal to ban conversion therapy, maybe i’ll try to convert to gay??

going to buffalo wild wings when i live in buffalo ny😈

Gonna have to teach everyone from scratch that the president isn't your boss, he's your employee

i’d prefer free and fair elections, but if that’s not possible i’d settle for picking the president through dancing with the stars

my early fall sinus/post nasal drip meltdown at least gave me the funniest new word

listening to tropic morning news which was my 3L distress song 🆘

i hope the MVPs kiss

i'm at the civil war i'm at the great depression i'm at the combination civil war great depression