Another final for Palace. This one is in Germany, whhere I have never been. Are there any travel warnings? Will tickets be a squillion Euros? I mean, you hear so much about the dangers and the expense of travelling abroad for football these days.

Good luck tonight #Crystalpalace. ❤️💙🦅

All my life people have been keeping secret from me the fact that #StephenColbert surname is pronounced Col-Bear. But that might be a lie someone told me yesterday. Also he lost his father/two brothers in the crash of Eastern Airlines 212 on 9/11/74. (RIP) Anything else I should know, bastards?

I don't care when or where this was or what weird sport was being played, I love it!

Attention: Jonathan Ross You're going to have a day in court, pal!

I had to get a new boiler and now my water is Tarka. (a little 'otter).

Congratulations to a Premier League club about to challenge in the final of a European tournament. ❤️💙

I'm a little bit in love (Goes to a facebook music video of my friend's original song). 👐 ❤️ fb.watch/GXYabJeOYh/

I can't remember where I put my worry beads. I know they are around here somewhere. i hope the cat didn't get them - chewed them to the point where she might choke. If I accidentally hoovered them up, the motor in the vacuum cleaner will burn out and it might start a fire. Where ARE they?

My older sister wants me to go to Bingo with her and her pals. I'm 62.

I want to say something about myself that's important, but I can't do it without giving my surname away.

When I first came on #Bluesky a couple of years ago, I'm sure there was a lot of concerned chatter about the #EpsteinFiles. What happened about that? When were they released fully and unredacted? Who went to jail?

That Lindsey Graham is a bit light on his feet for my liking.

The legend of King Arthur states that he will return in times of peril to save his people. But he probably didn't exist. So we're fucked.

I'm not sure I know what a #taco is.

Kamikaze dolphins. Hegseth said it with a straight face. Kamikaze dolphins. With a straight face.

Tenterden, Kent. Time for me to STFU.

Hoping to see #lufc in the Prem next season. I think it's a certainty now. Who gets relegated? 😆 For West Ham 😂 For Spurs.

When I was running the bookings for my band a few years back, I got an email enquiry from [email protected] I replied 'Hi, Len...' Turned out she was called Madlen.

#talkingheads www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSur...

COYP ❤️💙

I once saw James Baker at Gatwick Airport arrivals. He looked lost and a bit scared. His driver/ detail, whatever, hadn't turned up. I looked after him and chatted for a while until someone arrived to take him away. This was when R's were human and I was bodyguarding the Saudis. A lifetime ago.

I'm getting more and more interested in the post saying 'I'm going back to Twi*ter', etc... Please keep posting. It's great content and a marvelous contribution.

Football UK: Stop playing out from the back ffs Stop shouting 'Shoot' Stop booing players Stop booing at the final whistle Anything else? Wrong answers only, to confuse our American cousins ❤️

It’s one year since Palace beat Aston Villa 3-0 in the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley. 🏟️ What a performance! 😍 #EmiratesFACup #CPFC

So what about the 'crime' scene? Everyone carrying on as normal all over the scene of the assassination attempt?

I dunno. I'm from the UK, so maybe it's none of my business, but... The redacted and unreleased/ destroyed Epstein Files. They may not be covering for the pedos, but covering for some massive financial crimes. Just a thought I've been having. Has this already been discussed?

I think the use of firing squads is limited to time of war. But please keep electrocuting and poisoning convicted people, USA. Nice one.

A lovely tribute to Charlie Kirk...

Apart from the actual stats, the most reliable indicator that immigration is plunging (to our obvious economic detriment) is Nigel Farage turning his dishonest attentions to the mythical millions of benefits claimants.

An exceptional piece of evidenced work by brilliant colleagues examining Reform's UK policy agenda - super detailed and useful to all. Please share widely - as politics and political policies changes quickly, parts of it will go out of date relatively soon. www.unison.org.uk/content/uplo...

Home now after the gig in Sussex. The singer - I'd never met her before - she was more like Amy Winehouse than any Amy Winehouse tribute I've ever seen/ heard. And I think I love her a tiny bit.

I have my second ever gig playing bass. It's in Seaford tonight. It's just I/IV/V isn't it?

Rumdog Millionaire

… “you soup fork” … This might be the best insult ever! 🤣💀

These are Elon Musk’s texts to Larry Ellison on April 20, 2022. Anyone still using Twitter is complicit and they should be ashamed.

AOC is all sensible Americans right now, Americans who have completely lost patience with the wildly incompetent, lying loons currently running things who undermine our sanity, wealth, and wellbeing.

Brilliant. But quite sad once you stop laughing.

The BBC have been investigating Trump's insider trading. www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ns...

Nobody is impersonating me on Discord. ☹️

#CrystalPalace v #WestHam at Selhurst Park tonight. If we lose, Spurs will almost certainly go down and be ruined as a club. Er, come on you Irons 😀

This is amazing.

Premier League: Today will be the first time ever that I want Bright*n to win. Ever.

I have a gig on bass next Friday 24th. I don't play #bass and I don't have a bass guitar or amp. Should be fine.

Me, with some other clowns. Shockfest 2021.

This was last year. The carp come into my marina in May to spawn. I feed them carp pellets, which they love.

Please repost if you agree that the BBC has been undermining democracy and enabling foreign interference in our politics by promoting and protecting Farage.

Anyone whose pet just died...don't post anything about it on here, in case you might upset someone. Thanks.