big precariously balanced glass of water is goated when fumbling in the dark for your phone is the vibe

TIL mincemeat doesn’t have meat in it. It’s fruit?! Anyway, mincemeat pies are waaaaay different than I’ve imagined my whole life

Power’s out

My flows are immaculate Give me 2 eggs. I’m crackin it I’m Prue with the choux Butter, flour, and glue. Mother fucker

Bruh. Life. Is. Hellllllllll

The Chair Company was bad

Some cool stickers I saw

‘Tis the season! Help potato bears in honor of Fergus

Thanksgiving is going to be lit

But really

Hell yeah

I’m going to piss on dick cheneys grave

Wanna cry on a Sunday morning? This person needs some major support. Read through it and donate if you can www.gofundme.com/f/ease-the-t...

Just a little reminder that everything you've ever said to a chatbot is, by design, recorded and saved for future reference. youtube.com/shorts/WP5_X...

Touch grass, dopey

Freida, you ma’am, are an asshole

If I had a nickel for every laugh this gif gave me I’d owe $20. So that’s what I donated to the LEGEND himself for his ride to fight MS. Hook it up!

‘No no! I meant children! The 2nd amendment requires children’s blood, not miiiiiiine!’ -Charlie as he’s forcibly dragged into hell

Lecture me, baby. It only heightens my glee

🖨️🐈❔

I bought a (row) boat

Shiny Happy People I’m basic af

Make my day Pretty please

I got banned for 24 hours. No idea why. Way to go @bsky.app. I have not learned my lesson. I will continue to talk mad shit.

Building an Annapolis wherry could fix me

Caught this pic of one of the youngsters yesterday

The late, great hoak hogam

One time I went in a Starbucks and Yao Ming was in there. He was taller than the light fixtures hanging from the ceiling. It was wild to see him move around in our dollhouse world

Hook. It. Up. givebutter.com/catsofyore

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Jodi, you ma’am, are a dipshit

Sinners was so fucking good holy shit

Fun fact: the least interesting thing about you are the movies/tv shows you have not seen.

Yo. Conclave is dope. It’s extremely exciting despite it just being guys fretting over things.

Haha, got one! @jaredjknight.bsky.social you stupid mother fucker

Onion Delivery is a fucking piece of shit game. #UFO50

This is now a chicken account

When I have thoughts, they tend to be good ones. I’m a smart guy

ha!

I just dropped in to see what condition my transition was in. Help a sister out if you can. www.gofundme.com/f/help-jay-a...

Fork me once, shame on me Fork me twice? I’m taking it

Deviated to hear my boi, Karl Jobst, lost against billy Pac-Man

Gen X, finally roused from its ideological torpor, gathers outside the White House. the police are called, the fire hoses are turned on them but they start drinking it and only get stronger

Now is such a rad time for management to play musical chairs.

Happy birthday, Shaq!

One of my dearest friend's wonderful daughter has been diagnosed with a rare brain tumor and need financial help. If you can spare anything it would mean a lot to me personally. Please share! www.gofundme.com/f/support-ed...

Only $65k and 150 hours of community service for the tech bro dickhead who damaged the Super Scooper with his drone during the LA fires www.gamedeveloper.com/business/tre...

This is how to deal with X, twitter, meta screenshots from tattletales If you’re like me, you do not give a shit what bots and trolls are saying to one another