Naming our two beautiful daughters “the Mandalorian” and “shitcan asshole baby fucking Yoda”

Feeding the polycule ritz crackers with prog cream on top

If the gas station attendant doesn’t want me to eat the cough drops behind his counter MAYBE he should stop making them taste so god damn good

My one billion dollar idea is that we just do Jackass but instead of weird freaks it’s beautiful transgender women instead

Freebasing prog

I’m like, 70% sure my job is actively making me a worse person

Watching training videos on how to deal with a customer making racist Jew jokes at me at 7:30am

Who up playing they cowbell with they gun

She’s just like me….

I may be an emotionless corpse like 50% of the time but I did accidentally make a girl want me by playing punch out in front of her with my eyes closed so it evens out

Intox but with fizzy lifting drinks

My last sexual partner thing was really awful and I hope to god I never have to see her again but she did let me stick little pins from her shitty hot topic belt into her thighs until she bled so, like, I mean, you know

im a dyke but kyle mclaughlin could hit

3 years of hrt, I don’t really have anything in particular in mind to say about it other than I’m glad that I allowed myself to experience the world in the way that feels the most honest. I am very happy to have become such a sensitive instrument :3

went to fat chud island and they were all really nice to me

@h-g-unwells.bsky.social Yeag 🥰🥰

I keep seeing this really good picture of my girlfriends cock and like, don’t get me wrong, it’s a *fantastic* picture, but I keep wondering like “why am I not losing my mind like everyone else??” And then I’m like oh yeah I take the whole thing at LEAST every two weeks. This is just normal to me.

they want to stomp us out and put the lid on us again like theyve done many times before but i sincerely believe it isn't going to work this time

Coming out of slight bsky retirement to remind everyone that I’m hot and charismatic and cool and one time in high school a friend of mine swore that he helped create vaporwave as a genre but when I told him no he didn’t he threatened to come to my house and kill my entire family. He’s dead now. Idk

Does anyone wanna listen to me rant about how sick it is that the main villain on morrowind is just trying to rule Tamriel with a mech made of bones and flesh

goof!

Listening to a lot of soft cell today purely because the band name turns me on. Like I wanna dry hump that band name.

slightly increase a band Soaked Leg

Yearning today

Using my “cool vibes” to get what I want 😎 (desperately bargaining with the gas station attendant to just make sure they don’t have Mountain Dew Kickstart back there I swear to GOD there has to be at least one please please please please)

My pussy is dog aggressive

The lady at this antique store kept offering me to buy funko pops

It’s late and I look like shit but hear me out imagine this playing at a carnival attraction ran by me and I’m telling you to throw balls at the enanthate shaped hole in the wall or whatever

they should pay me to post this bad

hey! my birthday's coming up and i wanted to put my birthday fund out there. my laptop doesn't work reliably for even a simple video call right now, which is extremely hard as a woman in two long distance relationships. my goal is a refurbished steam deck and any other accessories i can pick up!

my gf btw

I’m now in the *we’re SO back* stage of the several day long mental breakdown so now I’m normal and cool and hot and can someone pls teach me how to skateboard

Dragging me around kicking and screaming (really really horny)

Wearing one of these to the bar and whale eyeing at anyone who looks at me

Two things about me is that I don’t do things and I don’t know stuff and I’m okay with it

Powerscaling yapping with women who I think are pretty

Can I play Devil’s Advocate on it

My favorite hobby at work is looking at my very lovely and very *visible* titties in a mirror right before I go tell a client to stop misgendering me or fuck off LMFAO

Girl who takes shitty nudes but is so angelic and hot that you don’t really care

Gm chatroom I took this literally like 30 seconds after I woke up

Want in one hand and finger me with the other see which cums first, or whatever. I don’t know. I don’t even give a shit anymore I need there to be a woman in my room I can irritate until they rail me. Fuck you.

Cozy Dunsparce! #pokemon #art #plush #needlefelting

Good morning, thinking about deadlock again

US social credit system but it’s just based on how long it’s been since you’ve done the Cupid Shuffle

Gn chatroom 🤏

Pegging Mercury with golf balls and calling it foreplay

My favorites 🥰

THEY'RE CALLED MECHA, COOP. REAL WACKADOO STUFF THE BOYS BACK AT LANGLEY HAVE BEEN COOKING UP. ENORMOUS ROBOT BODIES THAT'LL WIN THE NEXT TEN WARS. BUT HERES THE KICKER: THEY CAN ONLY BE DRIVEN BY MALNOURISHED TEENAGE LESBIANS. TRANSGENDERS TOO IF THEY'RE MALNOURISHED ENOUGH.

Gf who needs a slow feeder (me)

I think I’d make a great squire for someone, like yes girl let me take off your armor for you and massage your shoulders and polish your weapons and kill a rabbit for you pls