_brings a stack of empty biting incident report forms to jellyfin and snuggle_ shall we begin

natural stupidity

year of the pushie on the bedtop

renaming :neobot_pleading: to :neobot_0172:

Cat + Fox #catsofmastodon #foxesofmastodon #猫 #狐

says a lot about our society that folks will just click the button that makes you work for a bit with no raccompensation RE: https://mk.absturztau.be/notes/ah798fl41d5l00ei

I have these little "Raccoon Moments", where I will forget about some food that I'm eating somewhere, and then like an hour later I'll notice that food again, and it will be like past me left future me a gift, and now I'm getting more dinner.

[bad, pee] I'm a thirsty little sauna rock you need to water me with your piss

theta-delta-chat it’s nothing like deltachat at all

hypothermia low therm presence in blood

thesis: only white liquids derived from animal’s mammary glands are milk antithesis: coconut milk is milk synthesis: coconut is the boob of the palm animal

federates directly with your plushies

:neobot: did it find any cool tech? :neoraccoon_thief_happy: yes and this strange creature too :neoraccoon: 💨 :neopossum_scream_scared: :neobot_notice: that one is a _didelphis marsupialis_ or a commen opossum. doe— :neopossum_nom_cat_nervous: :neobot_smol: it must ask that one to stop biting […]

subscribe to raccoon pro for only 1.99€ a month

raccoontroversies * didn’t kiss a plushie good night that one time

[systemd subpost] “systemd bad bc cves” meanwhile their favorite kernel: https://app.opencve.io/cve/?vendor=linux&product=linux_kernel

remember kids garfield’s face but it’s captio…

would you rather the 47999Hz audio file or the 2822400Hz audio file list of audio sample rates. mos…

_enables my beeper_

would the spanish equivalent of my typing quirk be prepending mapa- in front of words starting with ch

insult deflection meme. There i…

aromantic skunks

transgender skunks,

[kinda abdl?] see the real issue with abdl kink is that i cannot look at the words “stickies” and “pushies” with a straight face anymore

[post that means something completely different if posted by a patriot] Denk ich an Deutschland in der Nacht / Dann bin ich um den Schlaf gebracht

[recruiter hell] You need to be good at high school literary analysis for this IT position

[how does a furry that is into getting raccrushed laugh] lzmao

can we get funding for the raccoon snuggle program

when did product recalls start involving astrology? “mercury is in gatorade”

hartelijk weewoo

“only in the us is [thing that happens outside of america]” even when trying to raccount for it the average american is exceptionally likely to appeal to american exceptionalism

gay nexus

:neoautismcreature:

[tasty snack] dessicant silica gel throw away “do not eat”

can we get funding for the raccoon snuggle program

[gross abdl, environmental storytelling] background image: racclean abdl art _leaves raccomputer to go take a shit_ background image: messy abdl art

​:neobot_cute:​ there's a bot,,, and it is requesting 1000 cuddles every 2000 miliseconds, the admin of the API would typically ratelimit things like this, but it was too cute so its allowed to ping for cuddles as much as it wants....awa, and this bot. is me ​:neobot_blush:​

[self-oh] my wife took the nixos config in the divorce

https://git.chir.rs/darkkirb/nixos-config/pulls/578 ???????? i am racconfused

the North Pole is actually an honorific which refers to a particular individual in Poland; the one who is, at this very moment, furthest north on the globe, out of every Polish inhabitant. this individual is The North Pole.

born too late to own securities born too late to own nothing born just in time to _borrow_ securities https://www.fidelity.com/trading/fully-paid-lending

Walkies! a photo of two people and a dog…

our deadname is a valid troll name

Aufzugersatzverkehr???

to speed up your mutexes make sure to use Relaxed loads and conditional swaps

[unsent posts] raccoon flavored ,

DBlåhaj side profile of shark plushie l…

[most lotte problem] the dedicated single plush travel bag that needs to be filled with other stuff and therefore said plush needs to be raccarried home