I’m willing to bet a decent amount of money she doesn’t know what a bris is.

What the actual fuck.

Sometimes having dead parents means this makes you cry…like a lot. Thanks, Mel Brooks.

Being an adult means eating a very nice steak and popcorn for dinner.

Join us on the 11th for our June Meetup! @konfrst.bsky.social , @lizfromiowa.bsky.social + @sarahbooz.bsky.social are confirmed to speak. 6pm @ Rookie's in Clive. See you there!

Fifteen years ago today I was fired via email. This is that email. (Yes. This is 100% real)

No one has ever given that much of a shit about the mayoral race. #daredevil

THIS IS DRAG

Does HSB 158 (not allowing minors to be exposed to performers exhibiting a gender identity that is different than the performer’s gender assigned at birth through the use of clothing, makeup, accessories or other gender signifiers) apply to Seth Freakin Rollins? Iowans need to know.

Another glimpse into my home life: Me: The Pope’s about to die! Kyle: The pup? Me: The Pope. Kyle: Oh Me: He’s the nicest one we’ve had in a while! The last one was a Nazi. Kyle: ok… Me: There’s always so much drama when a pope dies! There’s all that smoke…and Catholicism.

Have you wanted to explore Mainframe Studios, but haven’t visited Des Moines yet? With this link, you can step into my studio and see where I make. Then you can wander the halls and peek into other studios. my.matterport.com/show/?m=15nk...

Oh no. I got a male Instacart shopper. Thoughts and prayers appreciated.

Does your brain ever pull up vintage memes and then you have to google DO NOT WANT DOG at 9am on a Friday? Anyway…

This is a question that has now divided my friendship and threatened to end my relationship: WHAT IS THE BEST STARBURST FLAVOR? (Standard Starbursts only: red, orange, yellow, pink)

Don’t leave the bathroom in complete disarray and then give me a thumbs up as I am entering. How dare you!

GE Smith is looking…very normal and alive. Not like an animated corpse at all.

What in the Home Alone is happening? An announcement on my flight just said, “please make sure you’re on the right flight, this is flight X to Des Moines” Would there not be some alert that the wrong boarding pass was scanned? Can I just use any boarding pass to get on a plane? I have questions!

Part two of I’m on a work offsite and my personality test told me I’m unfit for corporate life - after taking a Waymo I shouted WE SHOULD EMPLOY HUMANS multiple times. To the head of my department. 🙃

I’m at a corporate offsite and we had to take a personality test as part of our team building adventure. My results, essentially, said I am unfit for the corporate world. No more than two hours later I told our team leader that based on empires typically lasting 250 years the end times are near. 🫠

If you need help identifying your local racist, check Facebook for their thoughts on the halftime show!

Logan Paul has no place in wrestling. Go away.

I am going to see Save Ferris in April and my 13 year old heart is VERY happy

White sparkle baby boki bloom to brighten a winter ❄️ day. Created by @kylekirwan.bsky.social and @sarahbooz.bsky.social Fun note: It’s 60 here today.

This Dame Judy Dench quote about her macular degeneration is killing me: "I mean, I can't see on a film set anymore," she told The Mirror's Notebook magazine. "And I can't see to read. So I can't see much. But, you know, you just deal with it. Get on." It is so wonderfully British.

Them: How is it outside rn? New Yorkers:

I had two perfect exchanges about my outfit tonight. 1. The bartender told me he liked me PRAWNSEMBLE 2. A woman walked up to me and said, “hi, sorry to bother you. I love your outfit. You look so cool. Shrimp is bugs.” No notes.

I just got stumped by a captcha like five times in a row. The singularity is here.

Go give @kylekirwan.bsky.social a follow for excellent art and probably a lot of other things!

I've been actively avoiding the news today but decided to give it a gander as we watch the cinematic masterpiece that is Monday Night Raw and now I'm having a mild panic attack. YAY!

I have spent the better part of the afternoon shopping for a dresser and Jesus Christ. What a nightmare. When will Des Moines get an IKEA.

TikTok is back?? Is anyone else seeing this?? @hankgreen.bsky.social

I cannot believe that our ghetto ass govn't actually worked together to get rid of a fuckin app. Meanwhile, I can die from eating a mixed salad laced with Listeria or a mass shooting on my way to get it. Man, FUCK YALLL

Can’t help but think of all the dumb dumbs who tied their livelihood to something as ethereal and uncertain as TikTok when they should have been building stability working for real businesses with a real future like Red Lobster or Joann Fabrics or Party City or Compaq or Big Lots or Yahoo Finance or

This is fucked. I use CapCut to edit videos and paid for a year of CapCut Pro. Anyone have a video editing app they like that also adds captions?

Petition to rename Jack Reacher: Smart Kronk

Well shit

I was so excited to post my most viral (and arguably) one of my dumbest TikToks on here but videos have to be less than a minute long. Womp womp. But don’t worry! It’s on YouTube. youtu.be/QVEySGbYqUw?...

Read all about it! dsmmagazine.com/2025/01/13/m...

I’m in a magazine!

Reminder: bird ownership is a mistake.

A glimpse into my home life: Me: Do you like my outfit? Fiancé: Yes. You look appropriately goth for dinner at Taco Bell.

TikTok is the only platform I’ve ever successfully built a following on and I have no idea how to replicate it. It is BANANAS that the government is banning TikTok before dealing with gun control.

I keep getting targeted ads for glasses I already own.

Having dead parents means finding an envelope from the place your mom worked at in the 80s and 90s with like fifty photocopies of a certificate your dad got for completing a nursing course and just….putting it back in the closet. 🫠

IT IS MY TIME TO SHINE Wordle 1,290 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Welp. I guess Space Scotland exists. #skeletoncrew

Thinking about House on the Rock a lot this week. What’s your favorite weird roadside spot?

There is nothing like going semi-viral on the ticky-tockies (and making some decent money on a video for the first time in ages) just weeks before the ban. ☹️

Goddamn Neel is the cutest alien baby

Good luck to all my nyc friends dealing with Santacon today.