If I posted a recording of how my son cries after leaving him for a minute in his playpen, they'd either pray for me or call CPS on me 😭.

End the "fake pocket" in women's wear!!!! Women like real pockets!!!

I haven't done squats in WEEKS 🙃

The way my feelings would DRY UP, I'd have none left to be able to feel some way about this situation. You're done to me.

When Jamaican people seh you ugly like Patoo just know they mean that shit.

Too many pro-life people make birthing a baby sound like taking a particularly strong dump and they need to fuck off with that, disrespectfully.

Still need dat!!!

Wait…. Is this Rick Ross as Bob Ross painting Ross from Friends IN A ROSS STORE?!?!

There isn’t enough jails in the world to pull me off somebody that touch my child without consent

I’m not okay with anyone’s child being examined without consent… Is everyone okay????

Could have done without the time change if we're being honest

Have a good evening everybody. Third false spring starts tomorrow 🤞

Let me tell you something… them shepherds snapped with that Pie!!!

Should have seen me reading this with great interest as I decided to swap out some of my morning coffees with green tea. What a piece a drapery.

Lmaoooo hello?! A suh yuh did a gwaan?!

Ohmagahhhh

Eye, will never miss another (🇹🇹) carnival again 🙂‍↕️

Y'all got Solomon so upset today.

Broad pelvis 😭😭😭😭😭

Stop making content and start making sense

That's why mi couldn't be a world leader. Don't let me know the codes. Don't show me the big red button because everything woulda flatten.

Trump knew what he was doing when he didn’t invite Ukraine to negotiations. How you fi a negotiate a peace deal with MY enemy and I’m not there. 🤣😭

The amount of tears in my eyes right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

If you've bought VENGEANCE ON THE HEAVENS already, whether it was just to support, or if you're half way through it, drop a review on Amazon and let me know what you think. If you haven't picked up your copy yet, it's available on all Amazon platforms in eBook, paperback, and hardcover!

Well at least the Virgos are honest with themselves.

Damn #noholeleftbehind for real.

What

I never forgot that girl who opened the tub of ice cream at the supermarket, licked it, and then put it back in the fridge. She and her idiot friend were there giggling away. Hope her life was ruined forever

I make some bomb ass salads enuh 😭

I've been seeing my friends hex each other a lot so I, a completely innocent and unbiased third party, have decided to bring back and repurpose an oldie but goodie: PALS (Peace and Love in S̶c̶h̶o̶o̶l̶s̶ Skyline). Let's spread love, not cast curses!

Guess being DOUSED in sweat from... activities cooled you down a bit.

My children are dramatic AF enuh. Pray for me as I pray for myself.

YOU KNOW BALL

Evolutionary advantage *

When you have young children, how hot your morning tea or coffee is when you get to drink it determines how well the rest of your day is going to go.

Lukewarm coffee is so ass 😭

I haven't eaten a boiled or fried dumpling in more than 2 months. What is life? 😭

Someone described BBLs as sit down hips while standing up and I think of that way too often 😂

Guys Koffee alright? No man, I miss her voice 😭.

Jesus Christ, never thought I'd hate BlueSky but here we are. Dem moderate the batty pic dem.

We locked in @elcriddy.bsky.social 🙂‍↕️

Watching The Fix episode with Bolt and it hurt mi heart fi hear the man say he was so deliberate in making sure every opportunity he got, he pushed for it to be done in JA to improve the country and look how dem a treat di man. No sah. Sorry fi mawga dawg..

He was BBQing this evening again in *checks weather* -12 (feels like -18°) weather.

Not my sisters on a call right now discussing this tweet 😭

Feral! She and Lashana Lynch 😭

Happy Valentine’s Day!