Pillion is a movie about how cis men aren't emotionally mature enough to be allowed to become doms

Boyfriemd,, smelln good

years ago i wanted to set a song as my morning alarm but the only source i could find was a gentle acoustic guitar cover of it on youtube music, and i just found out that the reason youtube music's algorithm sucks for me is because it thinks i love that specific song & listen to it every day for fun

The Shelved by Genre patreon episodes on The Hobbit movies are great and also have me developing a kind of thermonuclear take about the deleterious effect that the very talented Peter Jackson has had on modern cinema as a whole

I want to host an orgy where the theme is that all the beautiful tough girls I know get to take a break from intense scary dom duty and just like wear sweatpants and casually fool around without any expectations or kayfabe

When you're reading a book and you turn the page and it says "BOOK II" like damn nice the book shop only charged me for one book, they must not know about the # of books per book situation going on here 😎

I have a resume that anyone trying to get into AI would kill for and I could be fuckin rich right now but I have like, a bare minimum of ethical principles so I quit the tech industry and now I hoard something more valuable than money: sheer pettiness

i've wanted to take some sexy photos lately but that's kind of a neutral mood activity and i've spent the last couple months swinging quickly between i could cry (so happy) and i could cry (regular style)

so far this year the combined total of just vet bills and cleaning bills my apartment complex dropped on me after the printer ink incident adds up to just over 4x the total amount of income i've had during the same period

bro are you beholding this shit? bro if mine eyes deceive me you gotttttta tell me bro

Was struggling to come up with a personally significant number to put on a custom race plate for my new motorcycle until this morning's ego inflating bra fitting excursion. My vanity is boundless

Practicing my Gilbert Gottfried impression so I can do a really funny vooice reveal bit at my new follower milestone

The fucked up thing about falling in love in this historical moment is that a lot of our tenderest moments feel suspiciously like the memory montages the nightmare post apocalypse movie cuts to periodically in order to show how much the hero has lost

Tit rich

The fucked up thing about falling in love in this historical moment is that a lot of our tenderest moments feel suspiciously like the memory montages the nightmare post apocalypse movie cuts to periodically in order to show how much the hero has lost

one cool feature of having a boyfriend that used to be a horse girl is that they can braid your hair for you

I'm keeping one of the weird things I rode today, but I'm not saying which

I should never have taught my boyfriend the roundhouse kick, he was not prepared to use this technology responsibly

I should never have taught my boyfriend the roundhouse kick, he was not prepared to use this technology responsibly

My boyfriend won't let me post photos of them online but trust me, I got one of the cutest ones

This is me

Last june I got a weird sunburn in the shape of my hands on my lower back due to lazy sunscreen application and the hand shaped tan is STILL THERE

Check this thing out

One time in college an old construction worker with a big white beard complimented my bike so I got on the fixie hipster forums and posted some shit like "cool old guy liked my bike, Sheldon Brown lives??" and then next time I ran into him he was like "I do NOT look like Sheldon Brown"

i over-focused on glute med/min hypertrophy at the expense of the glute max and now i have two asses, one right on top of the other. i was going to continue this joke and say that my body would eventually attempt to open a second hole back there, but that actually did happen and it required surgery

My partner gets out of bed every morning looking like a SPiNDLE OC and then dresses up like the butchest lesbian you've ever seen and goes to work a long shift as a handyman and I'm obsessed with their entire vibe

I stayed in the closet for years thinking of all the discrimination and hate I would face and then I came out and it's been six years, most in Texas, and literally the worst thing that's happened to me was a cashier rolling her eyes at my ID. It was all beautiful and nothing hurt.

I keep being like whoa my muscles are actually getting bigger! All I did was work each muscle group to near failure 2-5 times a week (10-20 sets total), consume enough protein and creatine and get good sleep, consistently for a couple months

Apologies to the delivery guy who definitely just heard me fucking but also based on how long you spent hanging out by my door, shuffling packages around, maybe also you're welcome

I try to stay pretty unplugged bc once you get to "they should give me the Death Note" current events sort of stop being informative in a useful way, but recently I asked what year has the next Olympics only to be informed they're ongoing. And the super bowl is soon apparently? Perhaps too unplugged

Once again I must fight off the urge to squander a year's worth of hair growth because I saw someone with a cunty little bob

Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest bitch on this gay earth

If I lay down on stomach, arch my lumbar and squeeze my glutes, my lower back forms a shockingly concave bowl shape, which I insist that my lovers eat viscous soups such as spaghetti-Os out of on the full moon

I dread the summer because it means I probably won't wake up every day already snuggling anymore

I guess we just live together now

I like it when Instagram shows me a screenshot of a tumblr conversation with a screenshot of a Twitter post one of my friends made 4 years ago

I'm tired and I don't wanna be here 😌

I have spent an hour in the gym and done two sets, I'm cooked bro

I like to walk around urban Portland looking for little hidden nooks and crannies. I have a rating system for them based on triangulating the vibe between "secret garden", "crime alley" and "where the Capra Demon hangs out"

Leg day at gym, glutes so pumped I couldn't get my shorts off

i don't think they have phenomenal experiences, at least not like we do. perhaps the media they enjoy contains a They Live style hidden channel of human suffering compressed into informational form

A lot of bad stuff has been happening in the world and to me specifically but instead of being online what I've been doing is having a lot of really great lesbian sex, and I gotta be honest, morale is pretty good still

Guess whose 🎶 motorcycle got stolen 🎶

A series of tragic circumstances have caused my wonderful lesbian boyfriend to stay over at my house for so long they've effectively temporarily(?) moved in. Really smashing my uhauling PR here, the brake lever broke off

i for one cannot stand the idea of a stranger being prepared to be rude to me in the imaginary scenario where i can ever afford to visit their country

transition timeline photo, hornier take

Yesterday was my 6 year HRT anniversary, still the best decision I ever made

Yesterday was my 6 year HRT anniversary, still the best decision I ever made

"post u at your dykiest" video edition

"post u at your dykiest" listen, the kind of person i am means "dykiest photo" is a crowded race, but here's a recent fave