I'm unfathomably strong and have zero interest in sexual kayfabe, so I've endured years of Big Talk from people who thought they could dom me. In retrospect it's really funny that the one that finally did was a tiny giggly t-boy with a "you wouldn't fight back against a little guy with glasses" vibe

When you're unemployed, routines become really crucial. You've gotta have some structure for all that free time. For instance I have a routine where I wake up, make coffee, and then think about how much I wanna die for about 8 hours

When you're unemployed, routines become really crucial. You've gotta have some structure for all that free time. For instance I have a routine where I wake up, make coffee, and then think about how much I wanna die for about 8 hours

I am going to become the Sasha Velour of the clowning arts

Saw a mime

I'm so sad, lmao

Given the common protestant belief that you're saved through faith alone, this means present day atheists who manage to live until the rapture happens kinda get a free ticket to heaven because witnessing the rapture would be exactly the kind of solid empirical evidence that would change our minds

Wait would it be funnier to just delete all my political posts and do a bit where I spend the next few years pretending I'm in an AU where things are good

Look, the revolution will not be led by people who are too depressed to eat breakfast, so I am not the threat the media wants me to be, but I am a trans woman and an outspoken leftist so in an effort to forestall getting shoved into an unmarked van, I will probably delete my online presence soon

You gotta be fuckin kidding me

I used to feel lucky that I've only had good faith "let's stay friends" style breakups, but I'm starting to think it's less luck and more like a skill developed through a troubling amount of practice

Moreover, the cult of human suffering must be destroyed

I like to imagine every problem has a solution but then I try to keep tupperware organized

Juggling is really hard

Moreover, the cult of human suffering must be destroyed

I haven't been posting a lot because my thing this week is mainly looking back over the smouldering ruin of my life and weeping over all I've lost and all the failures that brought me here, and for some reason I haven't come up with a lot of jokes about that material

Clown class day 1: did not expect to get to juggling this fast

Statistically speaking, I'm probably going to have a pretty long streak of days better than this one 😌

Monkey's paw curling on the "I've gotta do something about how I'm romantically overstretched" realization. Looking like I might be totally single in short order. I'm gonna log off for a while and sort of re-think my whole life, I guess

Uhhhhh

My full title is Wire Mother

I've found a flaw in my plan to switch to cycling and riding the motorcycle over the next few months. Did you guys know that sometimes, in Portland Oregon, it rains

Motorcycle, highway, 11pm, 75mph, changing lanes, flexed my pecs and felt my front clasp bra pop right off. Unbelievable sensation. At first I thought my sternum had simply come apart

What's a girl got to do to get her beak blown around backwards like in the cartoons

I reinstalled Tinder and one thing they've added is a prompt suggesting I begin the "consistency challenge" to log in every day for a week. This prompt appears every time I open the app, no matter how often I dismiss it, and even if I've hit "begin challenge" earlier in the day

Deadhouse Gates good

My resolution for this season was zero new partners but due to the breakup my boyfriend count is at -1 so TECHNICALLY if I- [all of my loved ones simultaneously clobber me with giant cartoon hammers]

If I reach 1k followers I will start a snake cult in real life

There's a guy outside rapping and punctuating his bars with the electric crack of a stun gun lmao

Civility was maybe the greatest con ever pulled on us. It's your moral duty to speak out against evil; to use all your words and actions to make it impossible for fascists to live and work; to offer no quarter or respite. Civility isn't noble or kind or wise, it's cowardly, complicit and ineffective

When you compare the response to this vs constant violence from the right, it sure seems like the entire purpose of the centrist media and the democratic leadership is to subdue the left and convince us that the best way to resist people literally trying to kill us is to politely cooperate with them

Or we could all post a ton of jokes, so many that they couldn't possibly have enough time to waste looking into all of them

Guess we can scratch one off early

Ok the news has breached containment I'll see y'all later 🫡

I feel like I've curated my follow and mute list almost perfectly so that if there's discourse or concerning world news, I can tell that something has happened but not what it was. A nice sort of option to learn more if I want

Got some interesting new followers today so let me be clear: this is an account where I post weird clown lewds and talk about who should be shot come the revolution

Sisterhood of The Widening Gyre

😌

Got some interesting new followers today so let me be clear: this is an account where I post weird clown lewds and talk about who should be shot come the revolution

Seriously I would love to live somewhere without so many people yelling. Yesterday we had the BEAN man, a guy harassing a screaming woman that I had to walk out and interrupt, a different woman screaming at an invisible interlocutor (twice) and of course the midnight drunkmen hollerin'

Guy yelling in my neighborhood: I'm the BEAN man do you know what that means? It means I'm gonna BEAN you AWH HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

I've long tried to understand how people were capable of hoarding money while so many suffer - I thought it must require some deep fault of ignorance or denial. Because I have faith in humanity, it took me a long time to admit that it seems like a lot of them are just unfathomably evil

Day 3 of stretching my hip flexors/lower back for 15 minutes every morning and I feel like my standing posture is already better

Due to a fascinating throwaway line from Frank Herbert's Dune, I've taken up a hobby of trying to learn to flex each skeletal muscle in my body in isolation (as much as this is possible given innervation patterns). The deep hip rotator muscles are really hard to tell apart

Aw hell yeah it's about to be hot chocolate season

I've been sort of practicing spending more time alone so today I didn't go visit any friends and mostly just did stuff on my own and I've gotta say: I hated it, being alone actually sucks ass

RIP to my haters, I invented popcorn tofu katsu and it goes so hard

IT'S MACHO MAN OUT OF NOWHERE AND WHAT'S THAT IN HIS HAND? IT CAN'T BE - I THINK IT IS! YES! IT'S THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS!!! THE CHAMBER OF GUFF IS OPEN!!!

One day I would like to not have a headache