Got an interview at a gym let's goooo

They just let you have this kinda shit if you want

Tbh I don't really get anything out of this website anymore but where else would I post my sword lewds

They just let you have this kinda shit if you want

today i am anxiously awaiting the delivery of a REAL SWORD

as somebody with a tattoo of a carton of milk i would like it if milk had not become a weird right wing shibboleth

There's a thing that computers do and a different thing that brains do. People like to compare the rates they do those things, mainly to sell more computer. My thesis was about how these two things have nothing to do with one another and those people are hucksters.

you think you could dom me but you haven't even undergone a nietzschean transvaluation of values? grow up

Me, doing 3 sets x 20 reps of one legged squats with >100lbs on my back, three times a week while doing 30 minutes of accessory exercises every day: I wonder if I'm working my glutes hard enough

Portland is the best place I've ever lived but it needs a few things before it can truly be considered one of the great American cities. For instance, we don't have a stupid accent

Look at this smug ass cat

I'm gonna marry this boy

The thing about trying to get a job is that it makes it hard to not think about how the current trajectory of civilization is towards a future where a small number of rich people use an automated surveilance police state to keep the rest of us as slaves

"I cut my finger slicing the garlic bread." "Are you ok?" "Yeah but it got on the bread so do you want the one with blood or no bloo-" "BLOOD"

One time I was at a record store with a girl I had a crush on and she picked up Remain In Light so I said "oh I love The Talking Heads" and she gave me a stone cold "The name of the band is 'Talking Heads'." I never recovered

My black knight costume is coming together conceptually but I'm really standing at a crossroads between "be normal around your friends" and "unleash the armored dominatrix fit"

Going to the rodeo later! It's my first one! Do you guys have any tips or tricks

Putting together a knight costume for a party finally gave me an excuse to buy a sword and now I'm standing on a terrible precipice where I've got like 25 tabs open full of swords that I absolutely can't live without

Tried to do an extra thorough stretching routine so I don't reinjure my shoulder. Tweaked my back while stretching. Being 40 is bogus

Boyfriend wanted to spit in my mouth but it was closed so he pinched my jaw open the way you might in order to give a cat a pill and I laughed so hard we almost had to stop fucking

i was supposed to do my taxes today but i accidentally had an idea for a sci-fi story, RIP

Get yourself a partner that's really impressed by stuff you take for granted. Mine is always telling me how they feel like they've won the lottery because they found someone so incomprehensively generous as to cook dinner every night. But here's the thing: I like cooking. I was already doing that.

My partner wears a chain everywhere but it's not a sub thing, it's so they can do Road Rash style vehicular mayhem from the back seat of my motorcycle

I'm a pretty intense top and I value genuine expressiveness in bed so I wear my desire on my face. I've been told there's a look I get where I'm both overwhelmed by passion and alarmed by my own voraciousness. I recently found out what it's like to be on the other side of that look and: it rules

bunny girl in compromising situations pt 2

anyway if you need me i'll be over here not getting the discord subpoenaed

Man, why's it all gotta happen right now? I just fell in love.

I'm making a new resume to apply for fitness coach jobs and I have no idea what to put on there. Do they want to know how much I lift, bro?

my favorites are in this set

bunny girl in compromising situations pt 1

Whoa I almost forgot about one of my favorite spring activities (taking pictures in a bunny suit)

Vastus lateralis making an appearance

Genuinely tempted to start using a very light bronzer just because I'm so pale that my muscle definition washes out (especially in photos)

My shoulder is fucked up and I can't ride my bike or lift but I know I'll lose my mind if I don't stay active so I begrudgingly went running. I guess my decade long beef with running is over because it turns out doing Rocky shit up quarter mile stair cases in the park is actually fun as hell

Of course I realize now that this last option is supposed to read bi-gender, but I read it and went "damn I guess I am kind of a big-ender, but what does my dumptruck ass gotta do with this"

Procrastinating

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 it 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

I have the opposite of that kind of ADHD where you need a deadline to get anything done. I can do arbitrary amounts of work for fun, but the second I need to or I'll get in trouble, the demand avoidance kicks in and my brain is like "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO IT" even if "IT" is enjoyable and enriching

Procrastinating

does anyone have any suggestions for esoteric rituals in honor of the pink moon? not tied to any sort of belief system, other than that it is good to have a reason to periodically do something weird at night and make some new memories

Bunch of silly billies on here today

pic 3/3 (if you're all very good about reposting, i'll be nice and give you a bonus pic) 😘

i wish i could describe the sort of posts i wanted to see, and then some sort of coding agent would build the feed i described. i wish an orb of mercury would grow enough blades to pierce the heart of every person who ever wronged me. i hope that if i die with enough hate in my heart god will go mad

Realized while loading up my partner's Subaru for an impromptu camping trip in the Oregon wilderness, I am a living lesbian stereotype

In college I had a dream my uncle died and I inherited a sports car called the Ferrarzo Four-Thundred, and I think about that fictitious automobile regularly

She kame on my hame til i ha

Akira sliding through police barricades because my wife texted me "I want kissies 🥺"

Now that I'm in a monogamous relationship it's time for someone else to claim the title