Time for some cozy reading before bed. This section is about gathering with loved ones, making sure we do things that are important to us during the holidays with those whom we cherish, and festive meal planning. 📚🎄📚 #BookSky

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I truly felt this book was perfect. The depth of characters, the flow of narration, the emotions it illicited in me, and the importance of the story that was told all had me listening to the audiobook with rapt attention. It’s a book I know I’ll read again! #BookSky @bluebookclub.bsky.social

Trying to describe to Ross what it feels like to be curled up in my new blanket … “It’s like I’m inside a tauntaun!”. Juniper is snoozy.

Intelligent, purposeful, temporary avoidance can absolutely be a trauma recovery tool-- as long as we don't confuse it w/ reflexive, mindless, symptomatic avoidance. In any realistic recovery arc, there are times for confrontation AND avoidance. Neither should be our default.

Yes, we can sometimes, maybe even often, use pain to facilitate our growth-- but you're not somehow defective if you don't experience every pain point in your life as an "opportunity." Sometimes pain just sucks-- & it's not "whiny" or "ungrateful" to acknowledge that.

When my family was in town in August there was one night that I was only able to use mouthwash. I didn’t even have energy to brush my teeth or floss.

Gingerbread tea, a fuzzy blanket and havarti cheddar nachos. 😋

Drinking hot chocolate, listening to the rain with the tree lights on. Cozy. 😊🙏🎄

Oh! And reading up on how to make cream puffs and fruitcake! 👩‍🍳

This is the perfect afternoon for a handful of tasks I’ve been meaning to do, then playing Moon Colony Bloodbath and eating peanut butter truffles, and snuggling under my new furry blanket to watch a movie! Time to make tea!

Acknowledging something hurt exactly as much as it did is not a sign of "weakness." It's a sign that a survivor is serious about reckoning with what actually happened-- & that our abusers' & bullies' attempts to get us to ignore & minimize their harm have failed.

Distraction is absolutely a legit coping tool in realistic trauma recovery. Don't think you have to meet everything head on, full speed, at all times-- it's just real important we don't substitute constant, desperate distraction for acknowledging & processing feelings & memories.

If we want our "parts" & inner child to trust us, we need to show them-- not tell, show-- that we're willing to stay w/ them even when the hard sh*t hits. That we won't respond to painful feelings & memories by punishing or abandoning ourselves. That we're not like our abusers.

My Baby Cat on a Caturday. 🐈‍⬛🧡🐈‍⬛ #Caturday #cat #CatSky #CatsOfBlueSky

Laundry is going, Snowy Calm Cafe Jazz is on the tv, Juniper is napping in the sun, Danish Butter Cookies dipped in coffee fill my tummy, my Moonflower candle’s scent fills the air, and my book warms my heart. Time to read about intentional gifting and wrapping with care. #BookSky #clffee #candle

Hehehe. I watched the entire show in one evening! 🤭 It was delightful!

What I’ll be up to this weekend. 🤩

You're not struggling to feel better because you'e "bad" or "not trying hard enough." You're struggling because you've been injured, & that injury has been reinforced for years. Healing psychological wounds is complex. You're not "doing it wrong." Easy does it. Patience. Grace.

Spoiler: you & I might relapse. We might experience recovery setbacks. We can't tell the future, & we don't need to-- what we DO need to do is everything we can to maximize the odds that THIS minute, this one right here, is safe. Worry about the next minute in 60 seconds.

You are not, & you do not need to be, the one trauma survivor who figures out how to "win" recovery by doing it "perfectly" the first time. I understand that overachieving was often your ticket to "safety" back then-- but this isn't like that. Breathe. No, really: breathe.

Sadness doesn't have to equal "f*ck it." Anger doesn't have to equal "f*ck it." One of the biggest lies Trauma Brain tells us is that we have to say "f*ck it all" when we're experiencing a strong feeling-- but that dishonors both our recovery AND our feelings. F*ck that.

This is a reminder that it's entirely possible to have some positive memories of a relationship or person that was ultimately abusive & you want to leave in the past. Positive memories or feelings are not "evidence" that "it wasn't that bad" or wasn't abuse.

Right??? I would feel anger and immense sadness for all those years, but I remind myself I started my recovery when I was ready and safe to do so. I know deep down that the two times I tiptoed into it in 2015ish and 2020 were not the right time yet. 2023 was!

I went to Costco with my sister today (I go with her once or twice a year) for Thanksgiving ingredients. That shopping trip saved us $150 compared to Fred Meyer. Geez! I also found my winter blanket (I thought I wanted a chunky knit one!)!!! If you need me this Winter, I’ll be under my Frye blanket.

These messy little peanut butter truffles are DELICIOUS! 😋

Yup!

Wounds we thought we'd "healed" can reopen when we learn more or new things about our past, family, or church; or when we learn about others who endured things similar to what we did. Don't overreact; just go back to you recovery tools, especially the basics. Easy does it.

Survivors of gaslighting can get fixated on how we "know" what's true & what isn't. That reaction makes sense-- & one of the hardest things about recovery can be learning to handle ambiguity or situations where we can't "know" things for sure. You're not "crazy." You'e injured.

Time to make chocolate peanut butter truffles! Ross has a Man Night tonight and I have a Molly Night. He and I and the guys all love chocolate and peanut butter, so this felt like the perfect sweet treat!! 🍫🥜🧈🤤

Juniper’s ready for the weekend! #cat #wallsit #CatSky #CatsOfBlueSky

The scapegoat is often the empath or highly sensitive person who expresses an authentic hunger for better treatment, truth, and/or change. This is the most threatening temperament to a toxic system-familial or other.

The Santa Claus we know was shaped by 19th-century poems, stories, and illustrations. In his new book, Searching for Santa Claus, @thomasruyssmith explores these roots. Today, he returns to Christmas Past to trace the literary birth of an icon. #santaclaus #christmashistory #literarychristmas

What a peacefully festive morning! I love how my books and my mug and chair match! I’m excited to read about Finding Your Natural Rhythm In Winter today! 📚📚🥨🧜‍♀️☕️🎃✨🎃🎄🕯️ #BookSky

Brewing a pour-over is my favorite way to make #coffee. I worked in a cafe for a few months after college and enjoyed making drip coffee and pulling shots. Then I enjoyed the French Press. For years now, the pour-over has been my favorite because of the immersive process and the delicious result. ☕️

This is the content and rested visage of a gal who finally slept without hip, back, or pelvic pain for the first time since October 1st. #Physicaltherapy helps me so much with my malformed joins and degenerating discs. It rained in the night and my hair came out of my scrunchy ready to show off. 🤭

Look at that happy little tail! 🐈‍⬛💜🐈‍⬛ #cat #CatSky #CatsOfBlueSky

a little reminder for me & maybe you, too: you are worth being proud of.

Finally having a name for the lightning bolt electric shock that shoots through my jaw when I eat something tart or sour or acidic or sometimes bitter is nice. It’s called First Bite Syndrome! It’s happened since I was a kid (and to my sister too) and always had me curious as to why it happens. 🧐

Juniper liked today’s embroidery progress! I did backstitch for the top of the cauldron and did lazy daisy stitches for the green leaves and the flower petals. One lazy daisy was loose on the back. I couldn’t fix it but secured it with a knot! 🪡🐈‍⬛🌸🌙✨🧡🪡 #embroidery #cat #backstitch #lazydaisy

The "freeze" trauma response is a nervous system-deep manifestation of what psychologists call "learned helplessness"-- the reflexive paralysis we experience when we perceive every option available to be associated w/ pain or unacceptable risk. Trauma responses aren't "choices."

We don't dissociate because we "can't handle" what's happening. We dissociate because our sympathetic nervous system is trying to conserve & prioritize resources, & protect vulnerable "parts" of us. Dissociation is not a "choice"-- but there is logic & meaning to it.

Trauma informed medical providers understand & account for the fact that not only can chronic or complex medical conditions be exhausting, they can also make survivors vulnerable to "functional freeze" & "flop" trauma responses that exacerbate fatigue & brain fog.

There's no shame in wanting-- or feeling conflicted about-- limiting you social engagement when you'e triggered. Your system's trying to manage feeling threatened or overwhelmed, & people & social dynamics introduce 275 unpredictable variables to stress about. Grace over guilt.

It’s #embroidery time! 🪡🐈‍⬛🧡🌸🌙✨🪡

Chronic pain is a b*tch. With all the joint adjustments today, my body feels wonderfully mobile AND uncomfortably sore at the same time. It always makes me crampy when my hips are realigned. How odd! My mind is clear and no longer hazy because that constant joint pain is lessened now! #chronicpain

Hehehe. Juniper supervised my curtain hanging. The bay window is all ready for the Christmas tree! The other day, Ross said he was surprised I hadn’t put the tree up yet. I’ve always waited until the day after Thanksgiving. I think I’ll put it up early this year, maybe next week! 🎄✨🎄

Time to enjoy a nice, spicy chai while I hang the cozy season curtains!

I saw this book at a little bookshop when we were in Minnesota last year. I borrowed it from my library, then bought my own copy this year. Last night I worked on my Christmas Constellation. Today I worked on our holiday budget. Soon will be the 2025 reflections and 2026 intentions! 📚🎄📚 #BookSky

After watching Speed a while ago, I put The Lake House on my library hold list because Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves are too cute together. Last night, Ross watched The Lake House with me and it was a perfect autumn evening. Ross rarely watches romantic movies so it was a special shared moment.

A girl and her cat. 🐈‍⬛💜🐈‍⬛ #cat #CatSky #CatsOfBlueSky