I can't wait until they make AI so powerful that it's capable of living every single aspect of my life for me, so I'll have more time to... um... uh... well... I'll get back to you after I ask AI what I can do instead.

Living in the Trump timeline has allowed me to better understand why parents with perpetually moving toddlers are always exhausted.

When I try to click "like" on a news article that isn't on social media, I know I've been doomscrolling too much.

My reaction when meeting my therapist’s new intern.

Donald Trump's post that he's more popular than Elvis in his prime and the greatest president of all time (move over Washington and Lincoln!) is objectively insane. And any self-proclaimed "fact-based" journalist who doesn't report it as such doesn't actually care about the facts or the truth.

Bret Michaels may have canceled his appearance at Freedom 250, but the Trump administration is proud to present Bret's mother, who'll be performing all of her son's biggest hits, minus the suggestive lyrics. So get ready to rock out to "Talk Clean To Me" and "Nothin' But A Fairly Enjoyable Time."

Due to the risk of my posts being so dumb that readers start assuming they're being written by A.I., I've decided to farm out all future posts to the local Apple Store Genius Bar.

For the sake of truth in advertising, we should just start calling pizza "crust-stuffed cheese."

This is what happens when a tapeworm discovers tailoring.

Musical acts for Trump's birthday party are dropping faster than Iranian leaders during the war. At this point, Trump will be forced to give the Ayatollah top billing to perform a stirring rendition of Frank Sinatra's "My Way."

*Jesus goes over the bill at the last supper* *closes eyes & rubs bridge of nose* "Why, why would anyone order wine?”

🚨 BREAKING: Everything.

When I think about how all of the richest people in the world are the worst sociopaths among us, I realize when Jesus said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." he was actually being far too charitable.

This is incredible.

This sums it up well; it's 100% a death cult. bluevirginia.us/2026/05/sund...

Elon Musk believes ""the fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy" because the majority of people having empathy for others would lead to his own downfall."

Love it: the night after he was kicked off of CBS for good, Stephen Colbert hosted a public access show in southeast Michigan.

Just had the most surreal cab ride of my life

remorseless. unstoppable. majestic.

I'll never believe in the story of Adam and Eve for one very simple reason. Nobody would ever give up paradise in exchange for an apple. I mean, maybe a mango or a pineapple, but regular apples just aren't that delicious. Now, if it was an apple pie tree, I'd be all in.

It robs people of their work, coerces anyone who threatens its power, drains natural resources without caring about how it might be harming the community, and it helps orchestrate mass deaths. A.I. might not be conscious, but it sure as hell has become a lot like its billionaire creators.

unfortunately, kim il sung's clothes hang a lot better

I never pronounce the "L" so hard as I do when I go to Home Depot and ask for some caulk.

I've come to the conclusion that my life has been a total disaster. I blame autocorrect.

BREAKING: UFO CAT ABDUCTION!

Even with all that Charmin money, Bernie still felt somehow unfulfilled.

dONaLd tRuMp iS tHe fIrSt pReSiDeNt tO bEcOmE tHe pHySiCaL pErSoNiFiCaTiOn oF tHiS fOnT

To paraphrase René Descartes' thought on consciousness: "My AI chatbot thinks I'm the most intelligent, perceptive, wonderful person in the world, therefore it IS."

Watching the news is exhausting. It's like being trapped in the Big Brother house with all of the most vile characters in those "Housewives of" reality shows, and banging on the door, pleading to be let out, only to hear the show's director laughing at you through the intercom system.

The way the outfits here create flashes of blue and white is very mesmerizing.

"Three young Barn Owls looking out of the quatrefoil of a church in North Norfolk."

left to right these category photos on chewy read like "what did you say?" "you heard me" "oh shiiiiit"

Doomscrolling should be an Olympic event, with the winner of the gold medal being the person that's able to stop doing it first.

"AI is the future" The future:

Here’s my list of 50 reasons why Trump is mentally unfit to be president. Share this with any family and friends who still make excuses for the mad king.

The Super Bowl commercials last night were generally terrible ... but I hadn't seen the Billy Bass ad until this morning. This one made me laugh. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FimJ...

I either just witnessed a social media murder or the unintentional suicide of the idiot known as The Radical Moderate.

A.I. is taking people's jobs, ruining the net with worthless slop, corrupting our political system with right-wing chatbots and deep fakes, allowing students to cheat on homework assignments, and causing people to become even more isolated with A.I. "companions," which has resulted in suicides. 1/2

People who say "to make a long story short" would make that story even shorter if they didn't say "to make a long story short."

JD Vance worrying about France and Britain being overwhelmed with “destructive moral ideas” is like Wile E. Coyote declaring that Acme bombs falling into the Road Runner’s hands will cause unintended harm.

This is exactly what I see when I ingest magic mushrooms.

"When you're (a star, the president) they let you do it. Grab 'em by the (private parts, the memorial, the bribes, the Epstein files)" has been Trump's M.O. all his life. Now MAGA has unleashed this sociopath on us just so they can "own the libs" and openly express their own sociopathic urges.

After Thanksgiving dinner, Trump will declare he ended 15 wars, including the Don Jr. and Eric war over who got the drumsticks (Trump took both), the Barron and Tiffany war over who sat at the kids' table (Barron won by buying more Trump meme coins), and the Melania war over attending (she didn't.)

Get ready for Home Alone 7, where an elderly Kevin, played by Donald Trump, boobytraps the White House to stop the ghosts of Christmases Past, Present and Future from breaking into the building to give him a soul.

The billionaire A.I. tech bros watched Frankenstein and decided it was less of a warning about the perils of unethical and immoral scientific achievements, and more of a guidebook on the mistakes they should avoid when building their own monsters.

It's sort of ironic that the MAGA crowd is cheering on masked ICE thugs abducting and deporting immigrants because they're afraid they're taking U.S. jobs, while also cheering on Elon Musk and the other tech bros who are ACTUALLY about to eliminate untold numbers of U.S. jobs with A.I.

I would write an elaborate post about how dumb most time travel plots are, and how they never make any sense, but my future self would probably just time travel back to this time period and delete it on me.