Probably a loanword

I am haunted by the pains of the critic with the giant lead thumbs

Account-wide Misleading label

It's alive! Alive!

They shouldn't be reposting each other. They should be mortal enemies

If you like, you can change your name to Earth Borden. Bear in mind, you may be arrested for murdering a man named Sweetum who murdered your little sister's boyfriend. Or maybe ex. She's been going through a lot that, for cloudy reasons, she thinks will be fixed by taking your mom as her promdate.

r/forLordisAndLadiesOnly Minen villeins and churls haþ been herde to chaunt "whan Adam delved and Eve span who was þanne þe gentilman". Is þat good?

[gravely serious voiceover] But the mods refused to help with their spilled jice

In high school, I was voted most likely to lie about what they were voted most likely to do

I remember being very disappointed to learn the meaning of the word matinée. A sophisticated word for a concept that frankly does not seem like it needs its own word

A shard of a single post, a fragment of the future leaking through time, a hint of discourse some day to come: ... you shouldn't be allowed to keep whale sharks as pets...

Spellcasting for Bunnies 🪄 grassyvalley.thecomi...

I never did clap my hands, or stomp my feet, or wave my arms like the song said. I was a morose child, but that wasn't the reason. I could never be certain that my emotions were the same as the songwriter's, the emotions canonical to the lyrics.

"Two thumbs way down," says the critic with the giant lead thumbs. His every moment is misery. A caregiver must feed and bathe him. Would that he could end it all, but for those thumbs, which deny him every respite. "Take pity on me," he cries, hoping someone will hear and do what must be done.

Yes, the details are hazy, but I tell you Jerry Seinfeld was there in harlequin make-up with two goblins, or maybe another such creature, in an airship. He was doubtful, had been put up to it—it was a backup plan and things had gone wrong—but he had the gun in his hands, barrel out the window

Jean Charles Coquerel has two different kinds of lemur named after him, despite studying bugs and algae. Which is such a metaphor for our times

In the glorious utopian world to come there will be but one capital crime: denying that sifakas are the best lemurs

On the one hand, I appreciate that classic tweet for having reminded people of a forgotten piece of our history, but on the other, I think it did a real disservice to Goofy in denying him the eloquence to speak on the majesty and profundity of the sacrifice he witnessed

I once won a beheading game. I think

My only comment on one piece of current discourse is that Olio was their best song

I would like to apologize for my completely true posts about the Sleepytime® Bear

I trust everyone will be relieved to know, even if they were heretofore unaware of my struggle, that I just now remembered Charles Häberl's name, which I was trying to remember earlier

Thank you, spellcheck, for reminding me to show proper respect and capitalize the initial s in Sasquatch

I don't want to point fingers or name names, but a lot of you won't be called upon by the Lord of All Turtles to bask in the glory of his gleaming carapace

Some country should bring back selling noble titles. Real ones. It's a great way to raise money from the most ridiculous people on Earth. Make things reciprocal. What do defunct nobles bereft of modern significance do? Try to be influencers. What should our dumbest, vainest influencers do? Well...

It is true that the one mercy the cosmos in its coldheartedness bestows upon humanity is the ineffability of its own true nature. For the sinister unknowable beyond would certainly drive anyone mad. You see this in how you can say, "Goat Rock Beach is a sand beach" and it slips right by at unawares

So many mergers and yet no one is "Amalgamated ...." anymore. Criminal, really

Amalgamated Flying Saucer Clubs of America

General Mills, Inc. sent two henchmen to threaten to break my kneecaps if I didn't take down some of my posts, but I refused

Actually, I became the first ever to have the first as in the era of that when of a physical streaming and the media began.

This post isn't as good as the last one

This post isn't as good as the next one

Damn that horror bat sex horror sex bat sex horror sex vampire sex bat horror vampire sex cool machine was a weird thing for his baby to say, if we're being honest

Why have all the words in this post been misspelled?

Goat Rock Beach is a sand beach

Gumby and friends have fled Australia and are seeking asylum

Arcade-style score attack game about sledding down a mountain and throwing a pie at a Yeti

It's not illegal to get thagomized. I mean, you can't really do it for other reasons, but it's not illegal

You can't sing about how you're in love with a German film star anymore. The relative decline of the German film industry in the Anglosphere consciousness makes it too unrelatable to modern audiences

Just ate a really good pear

I kind of figured there'd be more people named Spider by now, but I guess not

Before then, I actually didn't get that about ape holders

I think it's wrong that small rocks don't float. "Well actually it's because of density..." Yes, I know why they choose not to do it, but I don't think that erases the immorality of their choice

I was trying to get a screenshot of a reply that by coincidence it turned out I made 39 seconds before on a post that had been made 39 minutes before, but the times displayed changed before I could take it

The real reason they stopped making children learn Latin is because otherwise they would have to tell them about Pupienus

Tell your doctor right away if you experience spontaneous degloving or if your eyes fall out

I think it was an early sign of how callous our society has become that people were relieved only purple people got eaten. "Oh, well, there are no purple people." Yeah. Not any more

Scientists estimate that across human history at least seven people have eaten a bowl of cereal