going to be doing more tomorrow! thank you everyone for your submissions

so familiar with the female anatomy it's not even funny

doing more shitty drawings. let me know what you want me to doodle

far too many shows about solving a murder when I would rather watch shows where we see the characters constantly give birth to young beautiful lives

pizza box that plays music when you open it like those birthday cards

did anyone else notice the Gavin Newsom cameo in the latest Mandalorian trailer? User u/PoopJackOff on r/TrueGalaxy noticed that he appears at the 1:27 mark and he's wearing a robe. Fans are speculating that he will either play a child molester or a genius jedi in the upcoming Disney film

why did jimmy neutron program his dog to shit and piss

drool is idiot coded. geniuses are never depicted with saliva draped over their bottom lip

im going to name my child Tokyo Azazel and let them deal with the consequences

they found water and traces of life on Quiz Planet

u/Spongesucksquarecock has been banned from r/Christmas

Phoenix Phorce: Dark Apex is the hottest new mobile game and streamer Aciontrix says it’s like if chess had sex with the lottery

YouTube drama: The Quebec Skeptic and Canadian_Angel_Hunter are waging war in a series of amazing vlogs

just got tickets from Ticketnazi dot com to see Dane Jailborne’s final performance at PrimalFest 2K26

shell-on deveined egg

i flip open the government laptop and begin to hack it. enter password? no problem. i smartly enter “eves_garden_grows” and download the files for project genesis. 98…99…100% the screen flashes with a big green checkmark. “i’m in,” I say as i implant the microchip and its data into my neutrino port

assume i have one child every year and each one grows up to be rich and successful. every father’s day they each give me a million bucks in cash as a gift, offsetting the ~$350K per child cost. In just ten years i would have well over two hundred million dollars (not including my prizepicks wins)

fast money life hack: cut up a dollar into a hundred little pieces. soak each piece in molten copper and wait for it to dry. etch a picture of abraham “penny” lincoln into each one. congrats you have just made the change you want to see in the world

Every thought you ever think will be shown on a big screen to a theatre full of Yous from alternate universes when you die and you will all watch together and laugh and eat popcorn

playbox and Xstation… just a glimpse of what you’ll find in my new freaky sci-fi novel “the oppo-world”

I know rice of delphi gets a lot of hate on reddit but I feel like 90% of it comes from people who haven't even opened the game in like 2 years. why are you still complaining about rice physics like it's 2024

I’ve heard your feedback: my new game, The Rice of Delphi ($39.99 on Steam) will be adding a Gods and Titans Pornography Mode. It will come at the cost of me scrapping the Aristotle’s Wisdom Expansion that I’ve worked on for months, but as a game dev it is my job to feed my hungry fans

Just scrapped eggplants (a feature fans were craving btw) because trolls like this think it’s cool to exploit my hard work. Anyone else posting glitches/bugs from my game will be permabanned across all platforms

my new game The Rice of Delphi ($39.99 on Steam) is the world’s first GRPG (greek rpg) that allows you to truly feel like a farmer in Ancient Greece discovering rice grains

im not joking

the mods on r/icecream are racist (theory crafting)

farming susan b anthony is worthless xp-wise but she does have a rare drop (.005% chance of receiving enchanted quaker token)

my uncle (who was sitting on my lap purring while I worked) walked all over my keyboard and accidentally bought a subscription to one drive

dracula was a heartless thug

a banker’s dozen is one million

einstein trapped his evil twin negastein in the light dimension of Luxtonia, a four dimensional universe where every element is poison and existence is torture

they had so much in common

“your epidermis is showing.” No it’s not. A thin layer of a vaseline-magnesium compound coats my entire body, preventing 6G waves from mainlining homoerotic thoughts into my major organs