Modern Alcumist
@streetlampkid.bsky.social
π€ 92
π₯ 123
π 508
Slurpin' that vacation juice
pinned post!
It's what it's.
about 1 month ago
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Modern Alcumist
cait (and adonis)
about 5 hours ago
there's so much bad in the world but there's also people who lift up and carry an elderly bat around every day so he can pretend he's flying again, and that's the part of the world I think is worth fighting for
add a skeleton here at some point
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Modern Alcumist
πͺπͺπͺbryan πͺ πͺ πͺ
1 day ago
I love the ads at the Arnold
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Oh boy. I'm not doing well
about 22 hours ago
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Modern Alcumist
Kashana
1 day ago
Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and weβre doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs
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Born too stupid to be successful and too ugly to be a house-husband π₯
4 days ago
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I did it. I applied to a new job. Maybe one day I'll escape the toxicity of my current one
5 days ago
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Modern Alcumist
Moby Dick
5 days ago
if a man made up his mind to live, mere sickness could not kill him
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Music is insane. What do you mean someone can make some noise then I get sad? That's sci-fi shit.
6 days ago
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If the carwash makes you horny, what does that say about you?
6 days ago
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"You microwaved a fish in my heart" Is this anything?
10 days ago
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Literally all I want to do is go to the climbing gym then go home and play Barony
15 days ago
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Modern Alcumist
Moby Dick
17 days ago
grease the bottom
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Hey ladies, I put my hand on the passenger headrest while I'm reversing. Wanna get married?
17 days ago
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Today I took myself out on a little sushi. Got a nigiri sampler and some hot sake. I deserve it. Am I healed? No. Am I healing? Maybe.
17 days ago
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Moby Dick
18 days ago
We will not speak of all Queequeg's peculiarities here
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When you turn 35, it should become illegal to listen to music that you listened to in your early 20s. This is poison.
19 days ago
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21 days ago
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It should be illegal to have a headache on your day off
21 days ago
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I need to take a massive amount of hallucinogenics
24 days ago
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Modern Alcumist
Stupid Twink
about 1 month ago
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Loot that drops after defeating me: Blood (common) Shit (common) Money (uncommon) The rock I swallowed that one time on the playground when I was 7 (rare)
add a skeleton here at some point
30 days ago
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Is gloving just hooping for lazier people?
about 1 month ago
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Consciousness was a mistake. We should go back to being bugs
about 1 month ago
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*Always tired* *Low appetite* *Consistently feels worthless* *Little to no interest in things I used to love*
about 1 month ago
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Modern Alcumist
70s Sci-Fi Art
about 1 month ago
For Sci-Fi Cutaway Saturday: This 1969 Davis Meltzer illustration includes a pool and a ping-pong table on the moon.
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Gotta wake up every day and jerk off into the wind
about 1 month ago
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I think the Internet has proven that a person's entire life is determined by what they were doing the first time they got horny
about 1 month ago
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It's what it's.
about 1 month ago
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When am I going to get paid for my whimsy? Why don't I get a check after a long day of skipping through a glen? Where are my medical benefits after making flower crowns for the local field mice? It's almost like y'all think ordering my food in a bad cockney accent has no value.
about 2 months ago
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What if we kissed on the $7000 gorilla throne?
about 2 months ago
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Point groups? I'll point them out the door.
about 2 months ago
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Sincerity is hot
about 2 months ago
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Modern Alcumist
Kenny Lauderdale
about 2 months ago
TEN......THOUSAND DOLLAR RAM TEN......MIL DINERO RAM~!! - THE PRICEMASTER HAS SPOKEN -
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I'm taking some time off dating for a while. Which means my body is going to be like Prairie Chapel Ranch because I'm going Full Bush πππ
about 2 months ago
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It's okay to hold two beliefs that contradict one another. Not every human experience needs to be completely logically consistent. It's okay to just be.
about 2 months ago
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Modern Alcumist
Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
about 2 months ago
The bread I bought has slices that are too big. It makes overwhelming toast. This is a total disaster.
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I'm a goon for VHS
about 2 months ago
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Moby Dick
2 months ago
all at once a queer accident happened
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My favorite thing about cooking fish is that you can't burn it due to their aquatic origin
2 months ago
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Is it inappropriate to follow people on insta who negged you on a dating app?
2 months ago
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Just learned I'm older than Leslie Knope is in the first season of Parks and Rec. If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
3 months ago
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Modern Alcumist
Moby Dick
3 months ago
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me
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At work, you might be able to have your phone volume up or stink like BO, but you should never do both.
3 months ago
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Modern Alcumist
Chuck Tingle
3 months ago
in the real world not nearly enough buckaroos goin around looking at clues with a magnifying glass
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Modern Alcumist
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)
3 months ago
if elected president i promise to be just as corrupt as our current leadership, perhaps even moreso. but I will also reinvest the entire defense and policing budgets into creating what i call The Health Cigarette
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Is vague-posting still a thing? If not, it should be. Everyone should be able to muse uselessly into the void.
3 months ago
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Lol who even gives a fuck
3 months ago
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Modern Alcumist
Theciscokidder
3 months ago
I still kiss my wife on the lips when she's sick because I hope that shit will kill me.
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Absolutely no one outside of Scotland can name more than one Loch and I will die on that beinn
3 months ago
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I need one of these for my sinuses
4 months ago
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