*arlo guthrie voice* ...and Zelda--remember Zelda? it's a legend about Zelda...

normalize excusing yourself from various situations by saying “i hate this”

sizzle pie had a cheeseburger pizza for a minute and y’know what… it was not bad

have been reading elden ring lore bc i’m replaying, and it’s become comical how many instances of “for some reason,” “presumably” “we can assume” etc these explainers have to use 😭

watching coachella on my couch, as my 30s existence mandated

sick of these catholic converts showing up and saying "well I have a different interpretation of the scripture" no you don't. that's protestantism and a heresy. don't like it there's the (incredibly beautiful and heavily ornamented with precious metals) door

so many people enjoy @mothership.blog's newsletter! which is free!!! it's FREE!!!!

y’all, i just wanna say that i genuinely really enjoy getting @mothership.blog’s newsletters. their reporting is great. i’ve been a fan of @midimyers.com for a minute, and seeing more of her writing is cool. you should check ‘em out and subscribe, that’s all ☺️

every time, i’m like wahhhh i don’t wanna talk to my therapist, and every time i am reminded to stop being a whiny baby because she’s incredible

lmao

back in god’s country (buffalo, new york)

okay i know this enters the discourse every now and again, but seriously stop reclining your seat on the plane

literally just ran into one of my bridesmaids on bourbon street 😭 no local friends is tough but friends all over the country is very fun

Sabres

Me, two days ago: I am putting all these tools I need in a special box, and I am putting this box in a special place. Me today: uh oh

drink: in hand ✅ feet: in water ✅

just hangin’ around

remove him from fucking office is the bare minimum.

a+ people watching at the atlanta airport today

we are officially en route to be en route to new orleans! we have left our dogs with a sitter for the first time and i’m so nervous but it’s gonna be great!

got the house cleaned up, now we got some music going to make banana bread before we head over for family dinner. happy easter y’all ☺️

Tremonton, Utah

getting my annual easter eve itch to make deviled eggs i straight up do not need to make deviled eggs, but also i am bored what i’m saying is there might be a lot of unnecessary deviled eggs in the near future

For the first time since Skyrim was released, the Buffalo Sabres have qualified for the Stanley Cup Playoffs

i got a new fit for it i am ready

we’re at birthday dinner with family. uncle is trying to tell tyler that he’s okay to eat muffaleta because it doesn’t contain pork, just salami

so, the making it look good is not what concerns me

Sabres ➡️ playoffs this is not a drill

On one hand, capturing what's interesting about Elden Ring in a movie seems impossible. But on the other hand, Alex Garland has never directed a good movie. So who can say

sabres game is on

folks,,, he did it

have officially ironed out enough of the final trip details that i can be excited about it instead of stressed now

"The Erie County ME’s Office determined that in this case, the cause of death was complications of a perforated duodenal ulcer precipitated by hypothermia and dehydration, and the manner of death was homicide," the release said.

can’t tell if this doctor’s office is playing an acoustic version of opalite or if they just have really shitty speakers

so this is an april fool’s right

tuesdays are almost always the pits

harlan ellison really had the weirdo juice

hallelujah i think we actually found someone

> panic every monday am about how much there is to do > immediately do basically all of it > chill rest of the week at the low low cost of a full sunday of the worst anxiety rinse and repeat

we’re locked in here

sabres game is on

been replaying gta v and we’re doing our weekend rotation of music videos, so now i’m assigning them to the protagonists. as it was by harry styles is absolutely a trevor song

the hardest part about moving cross country was missing the babies in my family. called to check in with my sister, and my 4 year old nephew hopped on to say “i want to go on a plane to see aunt brittany” and my heart melted all over the floor

lauren baseball posting season is here and the world is better for it

i co-sign. no one likes every pop song. if you don’t like any pop song at all - why

people weren’t lying about your thirties. it absolutely kicks ass to feel like you know what you’re doing

helloooo buffalo friends - doggy babysitting has fallen through on pretty short notice for an out of town trip. any recommendations for dog boarding/sitters?

cary elwes is a national treasure send skeet

i 100% do this and i think it’s just a hold over from our phones being unreliable no?? i don’t trust this thing to not do something hinky. it’s completely illogical and i stand by it

gah i miss screenland