I might regret this.

#WagonWednesday, sure.

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Someone said I look twelve. I resent that. I mean, they were right, but I resent it.

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Why does he look like that? That's not a dog, that's Sam Elliot.

My hair is starting to grow in a way that defies the laws of gravity. I'd say it's high time for a haircut.

He's been this close to me for the past ten minutes. He wants to steal my ham. #help

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He won't get off my neck.

#philosophy #wisdom #virtue #stoic

People should be nicer to pigeons! Birds are people, too! #justiceforpigeons

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I don't care what anyone says; wine tastes awful. There! I said it!

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The Big Belly Burger nearby is open again! All is right with the world.

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batman has midlife crisis and starts a more comprehensive night time moisturiser and anti-aging serum ritual for the lower half of his face

I didn't know horses could be Scientologists. Wait, are you talking about financial auditing? Oops.

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salt & vinegar chips taste like they don’t like you

Who's chat?

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Some days I just like to go outside and pretend I'm a dandelion... today is one of those days...

Why is there a cactus on my balcony? I never bought a cactus. I can just about guarantee that I don't own a cactus, or at least I didn't when I left for work this morning. Did it fall from the sky? Is it a sky cactus? Is there even such a thing as a sky cactus? A Skyctus?

#haiku you follow your own reflection in the shallows

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when something has both "natural and artifical flavors" that means you're getting double the flavor. you're about to enjoy the entire flavor spectrum

brain is soup

Are we talking about our parents? Sign me up! My Ma and Pa are both farmers, and they're pretty swell folks. I call them every night!

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Nevir shal Ich give thee up Nevir shal Ich let thee doun Nevir shal Ich runne arounde and go from thee Nevir shal Ich make thee to crye Nevir shal Ich 'farewell' sigh Nevir speke falsehood And cause thee sorrowe

Today, the UN officially designated Israel’s assault on Gaza as a genocide. As a party to the Genocide Convention, the U.S. has a legal obligation to obey our own laws, stop weapons sales to Israel, and demand a permanent ceasefire. End the genocide. Ceasefire now.

@eyes-for-disguise.bsky.social It's Together Tuesday! 🎉🎉🎉

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I have been consumed by the primal urge to scrunch up like a frog. I fear I may not turn back.

Jeez Louise! It's so darn hard to get an interview with Superman these days. Always flying away before I can get a word in!

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The way people post on Sunday is starting to make me wonder if I misunderstood what "Wagon Wednesday" was about. Is it not about covered wagons?

We could play charades or something! Oh, wait.

Traffic is going to be wild tomorrow. Parasite broke out of Stryker's again and busted up the asphalt on Main!

I must confess something heinous, especially given my job; I don't like coffee. I just don't. No amount of sugar or cream helps! My friends make me some every morning, though, and I don't know how to tell them. I can't kill their happiness! I can't be a happiness assassin, darnit!

Aw, man.

Why is he staring at me like this? I think he wants to eat me.

So, does Superman have to eat, or can he just photosynthesize?

reminder that you matter and especially if we are friends you matter to me so take care of yourself <3

Why is a sea cucumber called a sea cucumber if it lives in saltwater? If it's a cucumber in brine, it should be a pickle, right? It's a sea pickle!

Probably been done but this is stuck in my head Country Roads! Take me Home! Its a-me! Mario! Mushroom Kingdom! Mama-Mia! Rainbow Roads! Take me home!