“Please. I’ve dealt with much more dangerous empires. I’ve yet to encounter more than a couple of Sith! These empires burn as quickly as they can, never lasting.”

“I’ve missed a lot of it, to be fair. I was brought back most recent about a decade and a half ago… right after the fall of the Republic… I believe I was last active a few centuries before that. I simply just keep going, what else is there to do?”

Mostly being damaged, entering shutdown mode for a few centuries, being found, reactivated, modified… same cycle… half the time I kill the person who found me… they want me as a slave.

My internal chronometer isn’t the MOST accurate, but I can predict that I’ve exist for between five hundred and seventy eight THOUSAND years!

My form has not changed in the potential millennia I’ve existed for. There’s cave art of me somewhere!

"What a nerd!" Says the multi-eyed assassin droid...

“𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍.” —————————————— #SWRP #MVRP 𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚢 #𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚢

⠀ ʟᴏɴɢ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴘɪʀᴇ. ⠀

"Bird is the word, huh..."

“Huh… your lucky day…”

I don’t have any siblings, I’m totally unique!

Squeezing the trigger.

Aiming…

"..."

Does it matter? My job is to kill, I do it well.

It's my job!

Oh look a lone stormtrooper! Aaand he’s a pile of ash!

✦ ⠀ ◠ ⠀ 𖥻 ⠀ ／ ⠀ ⠀ ᴀ ᴊᴇᴅɪ’𝑠 𝑓ᴜʀʏ. ⠀⠀luke skywalker. independent.

“Yes master Jedi!” He does a goofy salute and starts robotically marching to… wherever it is he needs to go.

“Wooooord.”

"Yes but you owe me a missile launcher."

The droid proceeds to list about every possible thing that a woman can do with a droid. "And then you squeeze... yeah that's about it."

"Yeah, didn't do anything but you did have me make a list, would you like to hear it back?"

"Pleeeease let me dome her annoying ass it would be SOOOOOOOOO easy!"

"And then, while drunk, you inquired about my capabilities in those more personal arts. You forgetting is unsurprising."

"So you remember the hotel with one room available with one bed?"

Sensors blink as if to simulate an eye roll. "Remember the Ord Mantell job?"

"I can provide superior services for free, this you know." "Though I suppose you prefer the ones with tits and morality processors."

"Literally not possible, I don't have anything to shut."

"I jacked into the cameras, saw the whole thing." "Didn't even know you could bend like that."

"Yeah, bet you LOVED those droids in that one red light hostel on Nar Shaddaa." "Still can't believe they made me wait outside."

"Duuude does that Imperial robot have a GIANT GREEN EYE?!" "Talk about target practice, let me get my disruptor rifle!"

"I mean I like killing as much as the next assassin droid but genocide seems bad for business."

"Beep boop, then go back to bed."

worm Author's note, TVC has been active since about 18 BBY, he just completely missed the whole Alderaan thing

"They did that? Damn... fuck those guys... and I don't mean in the fun way!"

"Is it? I mean I know entropy is a thing but I don't think I was out for THAT long!"

"What's with the looks? Did the bugs there finally take over? I hated the bugs... I think."

"My internal database does not include information on the word 'clanker'" "On a side note how is Alderaan doing? I always liked those frosted peaks... so many sniper nests~"

"What does that MEAN?" He missed the clone wars.

"What? What is that word?"

“Fineeeeeeee princess.”

“Beep boop”

“Her fault. She started it.”

“Make sure that one annoying Jedi… Cyntru or whatever, is on the squad. She’s fun to mess with~”

"𝙾𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚘𝚑𝚑𝚑... 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜~"

He plugs into the file, his many sensors blinking rapidly. "𝙾𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑... 𝚘𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍... 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝙾𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚜~" He lets out a chuckle. "𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚃𝚠𝚒'𝚕𝚎𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚞𝚗~"

It lets out an odd chuckle. "𝚁𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚡 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜, 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗~"

"𝙾𝚑 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢... 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛."

"𝙷𝚖𝚖... 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚜?"