We finally got rid of Kurt Schrader just for @bynum.house.gov to vote exactly like him. It's a goddamn shame.

Either Simone de Beauvoir's the ethics of ambiguity or a far side collection it's really a coin flip

Only one of them earned this fate and it wasn't Jeff Kent

A repeat occurrence in Portland clashes has been rwers gassing themselves because they don't know which way the wind is blowing

I wonder why they did that

It's Monday again and our volunteers back at it! Going out now to be shared w/our unhoused neighbors: 82 loaded baked potatoes w/bags of fruit, water & harm reduction supplies! We rely on donations to feed people Venmo- pdxfeedthestreets Cashapp- FTSPortland

John Turturro gives you both prime spike lee and coen brothers PLUS all the weird stuff

Decorating the tree and I like to make it clear where Santa should put that Blazers championship

In Ireland, in Lebanon, In Palestine, in Portland, Charlie Brown heard the burst Of Roland's Thompson gun And bought it

I met a girl in Hollywood, she really worked me over good, Charlie Brown

My mama couldn't be persuaded when they pleaded with her daughter don't marry that gambling man, Charlie Brown (whooo-aah couldn't be persuaded)

And it was over in Clay County That Frank and Jessie learned to kill, Charlie Brown

Where we're going we don't need eyes to see, Charlie Brown

Making new friends

I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom. PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom. DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

PDX Folks! Rt'ing with alt text

The day starts with dock Cheney dying and ends with zohran mamdani giving an all time victory speech. We might as well go win the whole fucking thing.

What the media won't tell you is that dick Cheney died because the maintenance tech working on his orphan crushing machine took a break without properly securing the machine and ol' dick was so excited to crush more orphans he turned it on and died in the resulting explosion. ALWAYS #lockouttagout

This may strike some readers as extreme but everyone involved in this story deserves to die

If Mamdani wins I will leave New York. I will go live in one of the other 5 houses I have, perhaps the one in South Florida, or the one in Paris, or Napa, or Cabo, but I will definitely leave New York. I will keep my apartment, though, because it's awesome and New York is great. But I will leave.

Having mastered the Detroit style I've moved on to Chicago style deep dish. Left is a dove vivi corn pizza knockoff, the right is sausage and pepperoni

Vibrating so fast I'm melting into my couch

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 Chokeshaw 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Baseball is magic because tonight was the Waldorf school friend group Halloween party/combined fall birthday party and by the bottom of the 7th the entire party had left the bonfire to watch the game and learn totally new things about baseball himbos and what its like to die every 20 seconds or so

On Halloween our spooky volunteers treated our unhoused neighbors to 59 servings of Italian sausage & white bean soup, water, coca-cola, candy, harm reduction supplies, & blankets! We rely on donations to feed people Venmo- pdxfeedthestreets Cashapp- FTSPortland #MutualAid #PDX #MutualAidPortland

Jg with the ugliest ft make I've ever seen

I swear toumani jumped 12 feet high on that block. Way way up

UGLY WIN - WINNING RECORD

Me too Shohei, me too

Just reached the 'spouse woke up, realized I wasn't in bed, came downstairs to check on me' threshold

"it's a beautiful day for baseball, let's play two" "Oh God no, not like that"

Boy time really flies, pitchers and catchers report to spring training tomorrow

We're at the point where I'm thinking about the blazers/nuggets 4 OT game in 2019 where Rodney Hood came off the bench and my wife said 'look he's bouncing!' and I knew we'd win because simply having enough energy to hop around was going to be an insurmountable edge

I have watched this, conservatively, 30 times and I’m still not sure I understand the physics at play here

Typical LA telling everyone you're 401 to left center get when you're actually only 397

I’m watching the World Series. I’m taking part o the Stanford prison experiment. I’m at the combination World Series/Stanford prison experiment

There's no play more embarrassing in sport than fouling a pitch directly into your dick and balls. Critical support to Andres Gimenez

Holy shit I can't believe that worked clearly God is dead might as well have a 7th beer

This is me as an old man yelling at clouds but that play is called a suicide squeeze and if you have to call it something else safety squeeze is just embarrassing

If I were on the Lakers currently losing by 10 to the blazers I'd play the last bit of the 4th quarter without any pants on. Literally nobody in la would ever know and I bet it would be fun

Bunting is stupid unless you're Ichiro and Ichiro would have swung away there

Everyone talking about how long this game is doesn't remember that if this was an early 2000's sox/Yanks game we'd only be through 7 right now

Ironically if you'd just left ty France in you'd have runners on second and third with two outs

It's so rare that you see him play I had completely forgot why I hate kawhi other than being an inveterate scammer

Blake Wesley extremely relatable bricking a 3 short, catching your recount and bonking the bunny also short. I'm usually doing it on the local elementary school playground tho

Deni walking off under his own power is good, hopefully that's just a bruise

Loved that explanation from Lamar of deni looking off the pass so he didn't tip off his defender. It's great that we've finally got a team worthy of our broadcast team

might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

The person who did this would be best advised to turn themselves in immediately because there is nowhere safe for them in this city