Dude at stooges just said “shook in my boots” but pronounced them the same.

Read what you want. Been sayin it for years. People say they don’t like reading because all they’ve read in their lives is what their teachers told them to read. Find something that interests you and read it

LOVE THY FUKKIN NEIGHBOR

“The one small garden of a free gardener was all his need and due, not a garden swollen to a realm; his own hands to use, not the hands of others to command."

Final counts on the day: • 262 reservations • 41 milfs • 4 gilfs

Balls deep in the inaugural stooges pong tournament

Dude in the orchestra is playing the longest trombone I’ve ever seen

Rewatching Empire and I love how on-the-ground Vader is as a leader

A female bartender flirting with college boys is the same as a male bartender flirting with older ladies. Just say what they want with a smile and they’ll be eating out of your fukkin hand

Not funny bro my mom is named L-a.

Hey FBI if “86” is a threat then this is also a threat

Calvin And Hobbes levels of paneling here

Just saw a dq commercial that said buy one blizzard get a second for 99¢. Blizzards should already cost 99¢.

Sharpshooter confirmed at the inaugural Twin Lakes Karaoke

Spice Girls/Choking Victim shirt got a call out at the dispensary

I miss the snow

Beat the best team in the league and they are BIG MAD about it

My most uncharitable belief is that if you're chronically late to things, you're just a bad person. And I mean I don't think it's possible to routinely be late to events/work/appointments *unless* you're just a selfish person with no concern for anyone else.

Goddam DBS: Broly is so good. 20 minutes of build up followed by a 80 minute long pedal to the metal fight for the rest of the movie

RIP Stooges

Rose bowl on a Friday night. If only I was 20 years younger. Or 20 years older.

A little sawdust is good for the soul

165, 202, 192. Y’all thought I was playin.

We back. untp.beer/yy4xE

This is a 30 Rock headline

Ut Ur Min Skålle is not on Spotify? #ThingsWeLostInTheFire

A baseball player going undercover by taking off his hat and sunglasses

Nobody’s perfect

Holy shit it’s the goddam weinermobile

Cecil literally just appearing whenever he wants in Invincible will never not be unsettling

Beetle moses really has a talent for capturing humanity in both faces and body language

“I bet you’re sleeping better” Not really! Bout the same! Maybe gotten lazier! #Day28

Once I start drinkin again it’s over for every other team in the restaurant bowling league

Ducked into the bathroom at choir practice that is closed off. It was an emergency. Lord forgive me.

Just weighed myself for the first time in several years. Just about where I thought it was. #IStillExist

Rona slept fine. swanboy.com

I would follow this zamboni through the gates of hell

Callum Kerr is killin it as Smoker on OPLA. He is also 3 years younger than me.

They should change up the starters in Pokémon. Enough grass/water/fire. Gimme bug/poison/normal

Jemaine Clement would kill it as Hades

Those sure are words

Who was Notre Dame’s bell ringer BEFORE Quasimodo?

Meanwhile with Lucky Dave I felt like I had to warn my neighbors that there was gonna be a lot of shouting and please ignore it

Beautiful day today

Day 12 they should invent a water that has booze in it.

Why am I still waking up with a headache?

Damn, Sig-Sauer, when you’re right, you’re right.

7 days into no drinking and my bartender friend texted me to tell me she misses me

My favorite part of this is how much jason and kylie are obviously in love youtu.be/G90zGu06cd0?...