my partner's work hours are getting cut too so I have to start working soon and I haven't worked regularly in a couple years bc of my autism. and now if I dont hold a job we'll be fucked financially. i really wish su!cide was an option.

im so sick of feeling stressed and overstimulated constantly

lost 0.8lbs overnight 😎

it's sad how much prettier i get when i barely eat lol skin is clearer, face isn't bloated, i honestly look healthier like damn

lost 2 more lbs

ive lost almost 7lbs in a little over 2 weeks lol

finally out of the 180s and bmi under 30 for the first time in several months, yay

i really hate being disabled. im sick of relying on others financially & being a loser & a burden. i want to be able to pay for my own shit & not feel like i need permission since it isn't always my money. but i'll always be autistic & I'll always struggle to find/hold a job. fucking kill me already

the only thing i am looking forward to rn is losing weight. im almost out of the bmi 30s, i think I'll be bmi 29.9 tomorrow. but even that doesn't make me feel that great considering im still huge. but it's something ig

i wanna die and im absolutely miserable but at least im losing weight

it really hurts knowing i don't have the time and resources to succeed in life or pursue my dreams. literally doomed to be a loser bc i was born poor lmao

nothing ever changes. nothing will ever change

im so sick of always being an issue in relationships. i hate being autistic i fucking hate being this way. i ruin everything without even realizing it and im always a burden. i just want to die at this point

really wish someone cared

i don't think i'll ever be loved unconditionally

I've got to lose weight.

today’s goal: not b1nging

i genuinely don't know what to do like i don't want to kms but it's getting to the point where i feel like thats the only option i can handle anymore and its a really dark place to be mentally especially as a parent. i need more help than im getting and than im able to get

i feel so low rn

it sucks being suicidal but it sucks even more when you become a mom. like at least before it was genuinely an option and now i feel like no matter how bad i want to i just can't bc my baby needs me and I'd miss them

im so tired of hearing everyone around me talk about exercising and losing weight when i literally can't. im even on meds to help w the binging and in therapy and nothing helps. and ofc everything else in life sucks rn too. i wish i could just die

They're tear gassing us and going HOME TO HOME. They shot a journalist point blank with a concussion grenade. They're refusing to let our elected representatives do oversight. Idgaf what the overall purpose of this acc is WE'RE BEING INVADED. CALL YOUR REPS AND TELL THEM TO DO SOMETHING! WE NEED YOU

since im actually obese rn im thinking about trying to get weight loss meds but idk if i can afford it rn

i love my partner but ik hes so tired of me being depressed about my body. he always tries to help but i can tell hes sick of it. and the only other person i can talk to about it doesnt care. i feel so alone

i know i shouldn't compare myself but it really hurts hearing friends talk about exercising regularly and losing weight, being healthy etc. meanwhile im maintaining/gaining bc im stuck at home w my baby alone for 45hrs a week & never have time on the weekends either. im so fat & disgusting rn

i should really just stop trying to make things better and be happy bc some shit always gets in the way. fuck it

i feel so alone

may the spirit of locking in possess me as january 1st approaches

i honestly just wish i could kill myself. im just a burden and i know i'll never really be happy. i feel so guilty and disgusting. worthless

forever complaining about being huge but never actually stopping stuffing my face

i used to be so skinny and pretty someone euthanize me please

having 60lbs to lose before i will even look skinny and then 15 more lbs after that to be at my ugw is so heartbreaking

one thing that i really miss about being skinny is that i could take pics at any angle in ugly clothes & no makeup and still feel pretty

REAL

can't believe i have to spend christmas fat and ugly like what's wrong w me. i could have been skinny by now, fuck

i miss how good i used to be at restricting. i hate myself so much

so i accidentally got pregnant again 5 months postpartum and just had a medication abortion. needless to say, i gained so much. im scared to even weigh. i don't think I'll ever be skinny again tbh. ive been binging and i can't stop.

getting my brows, lashes and nails done on the 25th and planning to buy bleach and dye (hoping to go blonde) soon so that maybe I'll feel human again lmao

thinking about getting some cute clothes so i can at least feel less disgusting even tho im huge

ive made no progress in almost 3 months. im such a waste of space

gained 5lbs since last time i weighed 2 weeks ago

jfc im a cow

can't stop thinking about k!lling myself lmao

I either need to start restricting properly again or workout harder cause I feel so fucking obese

nothing is ok anymore

I feel like such a failure

haven't been active for a few days and if you guessed it's bc ive been eating like a pig.. ding ding ding! you'd be correct!

im so disappointed in myself. i could weigh so much less rn

finally back at the weight i was before binging for a few days

i did get a gym membership again yesterday tho, and im gonna try to go today and at least 4 times a week from now on