Once again one of the apposite things to say about British politics comes from Yes Minister: “If you must do this damn silly thing, don’t do it in this damn silly way.”

Next to the Christians at peace gardens were some maths missionaries[1] maybe they could help reform UK with their maths. Even if there were 32 genuine[2] cases of family voting, on a turn out of 77,501 that makes the claim of 12% seems like excessive extrapolating.

Disgusting noises coming from a lot of British political parties today. Obviously the alien monstrosities that have embedded themselves in their leaderships are feeling pressure from galactic high command to speed up the destruction of the country.

One of my greatest typos: Jamie McCrimmon plaid by Frazer Hines

The betting market is suggesting a narrow win for Greens over Reform, with Labour in third in Gorton and Denton.

Stew might be healthier leftovers than pizza, but it is much harder to just grab a couple of slices from the fridge for breakfast.

Today's time machine request is to go and see the original RSC Davies, Duncan, Rickman, Stevenson, Manville Les Liaisons Dangereuses

Onions in the slow cooker, bread in the machine. Soup of the gods for tea.

Porridge with salt is the gateway to a whole plethora of other savoury porridges. Chilli, or broccoli and stilton. Go wild!

Quite literally the last thing the population of any country wants to import from America is their heath care system. Leave the ship at home.

Sheffield people and other knowers of our restaurants. While I know what cuisines in general tend to be healthier/have healthy options, what are the surprise healthy mains at places you might not suspect?

The ancient Borogravian tradition of saluting the matinee. A few tickets left for our show at 14:30 www.ticketsource.co.uk/midlandplaye...

A butt of Malmsey isn't just a prop in a probably apocryphal event made famous by Shakespeare. It was a real measure of 126 wine gallons. The slapdash reference to deliveries to royal properties urk me.

It says here in the Ankh-Morpork Times that there is currently one seat now available for Monstrous Regiment tonight. And while Saturday evening has sold out there are a handful of tickets for the matinee. Buy via the link in my bio.

What sage advice is Cpl Scallot offering to the squad here? Find out by watching Monsterous Regiment tonight, or two shows Saturday (Friday is sold out). www.ticketsource.co.uk/midlandplayers

While Pax Americana was obviously bollox, they are 100% trying for Timor Americana with threats to allies or otherwise.

Opening night for Monstrous Regiment. www.ticketsource.co.uk/midlandplayers

I feel that members of Sheffield Council criticising SHU for neglecting an athletics facility is a little ironic. Unless the complaint is that they haven't neglected it enough, knocked it down and called that a legacy.

TFR expert here. This is not funny, federal aviation agencies only do this when extremely distressed by CBP firing a fucking 20 kW laser into the sky without regard for civilian aircraft.

Must be the first time I have watched TV with the big light on in years. Unfortunately these days somewhat required for sewing, even my fairly primitive needlework.

My prediction? The big space thing the south african space idiot will end up being known for is kicking off the Kessler syndrome ablation cascade.

Today is the fest day of St. Scholastica the patron saint of education. In her honour we should be getting educated in the full content of the files.

If a restaurant critic adopts a fake name to review undercover is that called an om nom nom de guerre?

The "confidence" a traditional measure of time used by the British government occasionally gets recalibrated against reality. Today it has been announced as being 3 days long.

Blaming the printer is the "cheque is in the post" of this mailout breaks the rules excuses. Had it from David Blunkett over 15 years ago and it smelt fishy then.

Are any of you Patrons at Hampstead Theatre and would be willing to facilitate getting me a ticket to Copenhagen?

P.S. Everyone who is here praising The Muppet Show, should watch Muppets Haunted Mansion if you haven't yet. It has some great nods to the classic series.

The Muppet Show is a beacon of lovely in the darkness. I really hope we get a full series.

Everyone, you might want to check in with your local goths, emos, and romantics. The Wuthering Heights press tour might be causing them to have even more elevated than usual levels of angst.

Look, an internet comments war over Helen in the Odyssey seems on point, but unless the naysayers can point to an actress who has actually launch'd a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium they seem like they are just being racist jizzrags.

How dare anyone in Gorton and Denton suggest they might want to vote for anyone but The Party. Don't they know they should be grateful for being force-fed regurgitated Reform policies like a Blue-footed booby chick and not go searching for another option that might actually be better.

My big surprise at seeing the screenshots people posted from cinema booking websites about that "documentary" was how many UK screens it was on. I wonder if it showing it was linked to being able to show other titles by the distributor?

Engineering works on the railways 02/02 — 06/02 disrupting: All CrossCountry routes via Sheffield All Northern routes via Sheffield TransPennine Express between Liverpool Lime Street and Cleethorpes

The nightmare happened today. Took my thread ripper to a new suit and one of the pockets was not a real pocket. Will have to take my basic sewing skills to it.

Saw a post recently that said in the “jail for mother for One Thousand Years” post the vast majority knew what creature Miette was instinctively. For "I just want to buy a fucking ticket you money grabbing c*nts" there might be slightly more doubt who I am talking about but I'll give you 2 guesses

Ice Cold Sausage in Alex.

Still thinking about seeing Monstrous Regiment? Our best availability is on Wednesday, Thursday and the Saturday matinee performances. Get them now before the river Kneck changes course again. #discworld #terrypratchett #theatre #sheffield #monstrousregiment

Small piece of nice news. The pram man is to get a star outside Sheffield town hall.

Fellow writers: I am deeply saddened to share that if we want the rewards of having written, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of writing

The pain of both being a British politics nerd and a long time pop-culture geek is trying to work out if I can cross the streams of the "defected to Reform" and "Will return in doomsday" memes

Lots of guys with backwards ball caps and truck nutz never gonna listen to Philip Glass again

Is it me, or has Suella Braverman defected from a party that might have deported her some day to one that would happily deport her today?

Brits: We wish that this Labour government would uphold more of their core values. _a finger on the monkey's paw curls_ Labour: Breaks out in internecine warfare between factions

2026's fresh new internet photo game: Aurora or Football Ground?

It is a real shame that instead of going to meet people at the world economic forum, they didn't send him to meet Davros instead.

Does Greenland have a lot of dairy cows or something? Or just a lot of places to bury files.

Finding it difficult to tell the difference between my virus addled nightmares and the "real world" with trumps ever more desperate distractions from the epstein files and leg warmers making a comeback.

So the interesting thing is that a lot of people have said that FIFA won't do this because they have no morals. On the flip side, where are FIFA taking payments? The trump regime sanctioning card payments from a large number of countries might hit the football authorities in the bank balance.

There is nothing I like better than being underestimated by some douch-bag because they don't believe I have 30 years of technical knowledge 😘