I want my son to have every advantage in life, that’s why I named him Aaaaaron

The sad truth is that this single image has brought me more joy than anything AI has ever generated

Find someone who looks at you the way WALL*E looks at EVE

Hate all you want, but the branding agency that came up with the name ‘Red Delicious’ for that apple really did their best with what they had to work with

My favorite thing about Australians is that anytime you do anything you’re a legend. Responded to an email? Legend. Brought over an extra Lacroix? Legend. Sent a meeting invite? Legend.

Ending every conversation with: “May you outlive him.”

Wake up babe, new questionably-AI enhanced video just dropped that we can endlessly analyze instead of critique the actual policies that got us here in the first place

I wonder how they’re doing over there in the timeline where Al Gore won the 2000 election, Guillermo del Toro directed ‘The Hobbit,’ and David Bowie just dropped the hottest record of 2026

I’m not saying he’s dead. But I am saying that *if he were* this is the exact kind of deny, distract, and delay strategem they would likely employ given the current limits of technology.

Hugh Jackman? More like Hugh Jassmistakeman

Truly a golden age for people building stupid AI bullshit www.axios.com/2026/03/10/m...

My favorite thing about Jeopardy! is that, for the most part, all three nerds have maxed out on INT so ultimately the game is based on who has the highest buzzer DEX—it’s more a physical game than mental, it’s basically hungry hungry hippos

Powerfull Ian McKellan voice: Timothée SHALL YOU MAY NOT!!!!!

Sunday Scaries but for the fate of the world

Powerfull Ian McKellan voice: Timothée SHALL YOU MAY NOT!!!!!

Oh crap I think I may have accidentally bought tickets to ‘Project Male Hairy’

Ah, the sweet gentle sounds of the majestic Pickleballer returning to court, filling the crisp morning air as the frost retreats; truly Spring is near

One benefit of being on the brink of nuclear war is that the Polymarket betting odds of a nuclear bomb drop might creep closer to 50-50, which means no insider traitor stands to make a megafuckton of money, which might dissuade the dropping of the bomb!

Me on LinkedIn vs. Me on BlueSky

I have no problem with the British, as long as they do it behind closed doors

If you “‘wake up’ in a city that never sleeps,” that implies you slept, checkmate Sinatra

There is only one thing I know to be true: that within 5 minutes of trimming my fingernails, I will always encounter a task in which having longer fingernails would have helped

The Magic School Bus could be inside your colon right now and you’d have no fkn clue

"AMERICA FIRST!!! SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!" I scream from the window of my 'sedan' on my way to the 'restaurant' to pick up an 'entrée' I will eat on my 'patio' after pulling into the 'garage' on my 'cul-de-sac'

Quick question: How do I take the $18.49/month I pay for HBO Max and funnel it directly to @lastweektonight.com?

It’s called a ‘beret’ because you are guaranteed to get ‘berated’ by your friends for even thinking you might be able to pull one off

I don’t pronounce it ‘Uranus’ OR ‘Uranus’ but a secret third way

Just took a bias training course at work and bad news: being a Dream Theater fan is not a protected characteristic

Perhaps today is the day you finally hit send on ‘The Post That Changed The World’

Erika Kirk arriving to the State of the Union

The fact that 10% federal judges are Black, a group that compromises about 8% of law school graduates, show the corruption of DEI. The fact that two-thirds of the Supreme Court are in the Federalist Society, a cult that includes 5% of law school graduates, shows the triumph of meritocracy.

Oops, someone forgot to feed their robot

I know I have Dad blood because I’m visiting the North Bay for the weekend (2,900 miles from where I live) and yet when it starting raining my first thought was still: “this is good, we needed this”

Seems crazy to me the DNC would rather court a single-digit percentage of moderate Republicans, when they could focus on activating the 90 million eligible voters that weren’t even motivated enough to vote 2024

I genuinely think Bernie would have won in 2016.

The internet really started with Al Gore and seems to be ending with AI gore

Ever since I was a small child I knew I wanted to spend my time online calling out nitwits and professional agitators for using unlabeled AI to make disingenuous arguments in order to manipulate the public discourse

Dumb motherfuckers love heavy metal because heavy metal is smart. Smart motherfuckers love heavy metal because heavy metal is dumb.

How it feels to get a laugh react from everyone in the All Hands Zoom chat

What we need is more RAWK in the Super Bowl! Here’s a list of a half-dozen culturally irrelevant rawk bands I thought were cool when I was 14 and still do because deep down I am a child and the world is very scary to me

The Anthropic Super Bowl ad is rightly being lauded as the best of the best, some are already calling it the ad(s) of the year. Genius-level positioning, differentiation, and laddering of the competition. A+++ in both strategy & execution. What I would love to know is if they used AI to produce it?

All of this could’ve been averted if you mfers had just Pokémon went to the polls

“Buy the dip!!” The only dip I’m interested in:

I wrote a bit about why the Epstein Files are no laughing matter. Gift link: medium.com/@brooksrocco...

Leave no workflow unstreamlined

I might be ok with Palantir’s global database on all human activity if they’d be more public with how we were being classified. Like what if we got cool little achievements? Earned special icons for being a public nuisance? Let us know we’re in the top 1% of people saying Fuck ICE on social?

One cool thing about being an unfathomably rich man is that the worst thing the media will ever call you is a “disgraced financier,” that’s the ceiling

Bad Bunny needs to stop being so hard on himself, he’s good

Mayor Mamdani names criminal justice reformer Stanley Richards as NYC’s new Department of Correction commissioner Richards is the first formerly incarcerated person to lead the city’s jails system @gothamist.com @wnyc.org gothamist.com/news/mamdani...

“Hey I invented a new hammer!” “Oh that’s cool! What are you gonna call it?” “…Ball.” “…” “…Peen. Ball Peen.” “…” “…” “You can’t call it that.” “Who’s gonna stop me? I literally have a hammer.” “…” “My Ball Peen Hammer.”