I am begging anyone who hasn't watched it yet to really pay attention to the 1997 movie Wag the Dog because this is literally a point-by-point reproduction of what happened in the movie.

I read you could substitute applesauce for eggs when baking, but my flan came out really weird.

Her neighbors must be happy

Chile elected a Nazi.

The guy illegally building a ballroom and painting everything in his office gold is also telling you to not spend as much money because everything is more expensive. Alexa, play "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

We are failing our kids

Since it's a Presidential Record, we have to pay to preserve this.

I was ready to reply to a super shitty comment about gun laws with, "your fiancée is cute, she could do better than you" and that makes me think that maybe I should spend some time offline. OR THAT SHITTY PEOPLE SHOULD FUCKING DIE ALONE. I'll meditate on which approach is better.

I opened the door and Hector hissed at the cold. Same, dude. Same.

It's a good thing I wasn't Peter Cetera because I absolutely would have named my first-born "Et".

Rewatched some Star Trek tonight. Still wild how a show about warp drives and weird nebulae ends up teaching the cleanest lessons about being human. Every episode says the same thing in its own way: ‘Be curious. Be brave. …Try not to fire phasers unless you really have to.”

We never hear about Bad King Wenceslas and I really think there's a story there.

“We are targeting Venezuela because of DRUGS, not OIL, which is why we are blowing up boats without any drugs and stealing a tanker full of oil.”

Ok, cool, so it *is* about the oil. www.reuters.com/world/americ...

I called someone a moron tonight because they don't believe that courts work and we should have death squads instead. That kind of thinking is not just moronic and evil, it's short-sighted. That said, I hope every Trump property is eventually seized and razed.

"Why do we have to pay for poor people's hospital bills?" Because I don't want to step over dead bodies on my way to work. "Why do I have to pay Social Security if I'm never going to see a penny of it?" Because old people are gross and if they have money they'll leave me alone.

A certain segment of people lament about not being able to borrow a cup of sugar from their neighbor because the neighbor doesn't speak English. Where's your rugged individualism? Pull yourself up by your sugary bootstraps! You should have planned better! What's next? You're also out of flour?

What if I only condemn /most/ forms of political violins?

I'm going to get my SAG-AFTRA card but instead of my actual last name, I'm going to work under the name "Shawn Eggs". Someone will eventually cast me in something with John Hamm, I just have to be patient.

I just heard Little Flame by Carsie Blanton and I wish I'd had a warning of the feelings it would stir up in me because how am I supposed to compartmentalize and serve the capitalist economy after that?

FCC: instead of going after the guys who hurt your boss' fee-fees, why not fine the networks for carrying him live? Everyone knows that in his advanced dementia, your boss can't help but swear and that language shouldn't be in when children can hear it. And he's an adjudicated rapist!

Maybe he thought he was elected president of late night programming?

If we could give Luigi immunity, we would. Be grateful we're choosing Zohran.

"Lightning Crashes" is my favorite song about placentas.

But what about North Carerdddd??!!

Once again, I call on the people of the world to unite and denounce the New York Times' Connections puzzle.

What's your favorite kind of moth? Mine's a behemoth.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Current status: building a time machine to travel back to that night when she told me that she would date me if I could assure her I'd be monogamous.

Can someone make an AI video of an elderly, "blonde" king being dragged from a fighter jet off to the guillotine?

Why did they go with "skims" when "merKims" was right there?

Why is serving on a jury a duty but voting is a right? Make elections compulsory and everyone gets to vote. That's what democracy means.

No kings - but especially not elderly pedophile kings.

"What I don't have in experience, I make up for in integrity. And what you don't have in integrity, you can never make up for in experience." Murdered by words.

Two loudmouthed old guys tried a stupid argument against a guy who said he wanted the job so he could help people instead of partying. The establishment is tone deaf.

Omg, Chuck Schumer, shut the fuck up and get a fucking clue. Endorse Zohran. Don't pick sides in primaries, like you're doing against Graham Platner in Maine and Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan. The establishment has only gotten us loss after loss. Let the people choose their leadership.

Pirating isn't theft if purchasing isn't ownership 🤸

People who fondly endorse American slavery these days always seem quite reluctant to be enslaved. Why is that? If slavery was a valid activity, why isn't it good enough for them?

I do not trust any kind of religious fundamentalist. What kind of insanity drives this?

Two Former Trump Officials Warn About Trump and Miller's Plan For Absolute Power With @oliviaoftroye.com and @milestaylor.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/thelefth...

That got dark quickly.

The real antifa was the friends we made along the way.

Michigan Avenue right now.

This picture of Bea Arthur and Angela Lansbury from 1989 seems to be unlocking certain feelings in some of my friends.

Hey @npr.org and WJCT - Thomas Jefferson didn't have a "controversial relationship with his slave Sally Hemmings". He abused, raped, and trafficked the teenage half-sister of his dead wife and then enslaved their children.

"And that is why we must invade Sweden and seize from them the Nobel Peace Prize."

This is a man who wants to kill Americans.

People like this should be trespassed from every store.

Any man who does this to a woman, has done it many, many times before. Guaranteed. Is sadistic personality disorder a requirement for ICE? Sadism never exists in isolation. It's *always* accompanied by sociopathy-psychopathy (ASPD).

I feel like some people watched "Wag the Dog" and thought, "I could do that." I don't think I'll listen to John Schneider's song about Charlie Kirk, largely because I don't respect either man.