I told you guys

God I miss Windows 7

Got a comment on my fanfic so I'm gonna ride that high for the rest of the week

Dear coworker, have you tried being a bit of a cranky bitch? Guarantee it cuts down on people bothering you for stuff they can do themselves

Brendon Fraser, John Hannah, AND Oded Fehr are going to be at Twin Cities Con this year and I will be at a wedding. 😭😭😭 Absolutely devastated that I'll be missing the Con this year.

I always love it when people post this panel in particular

Coffee and cold pizza for breakfast. Mmmmmmmm

Incoming mall traffic does not stop you illiterate motherfuckers

Exactly this

My tummy hurts and I'm mad at the government

Shocked but not surprised to learn how many ~titans of industry~ who probably think of themselves as brave ballsy businessmen are actually cowardly pieces of shit when it counts.

I cannot believe the government is making me defend Jimmy fucking Kimmel. I hate this timeline

Giggling and kicking feet writing the most self indulgent fanfic.

Love getting panicked messages from colleagues where 1) I can already tell this is a user error 2) they don't answer my follow up questions

Obtaining and using a true burner phone is hard—but not impossible. Here are the steps you need to take to protect your mobile communications based on the risks you face. www.wired.com/story/how-to...

Timeline cleanse! Everyone who sees this, quote 5 things that make you happy: -tiramisu -cold, wet, stormy weather on days where I can burrow under blankets -my husband -swords -all the pollinators in my yard

Does this philodendron have a surprise variegation or is it dying? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here are some things that Charlie Kirk said in his life. The man is dead, and so it only seems fair to share his legacy by cataloguing the values he spread while alive.

I just saw someone call RFK Jr. “Robert F. Kennedy the Lesser” and I’ll be doing that now.

Why yes. I will bully my coworkers into taking time off and making sure they don't check messages.

Oh today is one of those "shed a few tears about the state of world while I sit in my car on my lunch break" kinda of day

Oh boy I love working in a windowless warehouse office on a lovely September day.

- Learn the power of friendship with cross-play co-op. - Research the effects of consuming Hag hair. - Calculate how many disembodied limbs make a full clown. - Or stop the mind flayer invasion here to destroy existence as we know it (for extra credit) BG3 now 25% off on Steam, GOG, and Xbox!

Produce the bodies, be they alive or dead.

If the president really believes in American Workers First then why hasn’t he given us the Labor Day present we all really want

Post a random picture or everything will go bad in September.

People saying Trump is dying or possibly dead, but I for one would urge caution, because it is quite possible a second healtbar will appear as he enters his second phase and a gargantuan centipede will burst forth from his torso, so be careful of his new sweep attacks and toxic buildup from bites.

Live your life such that everyone doesn’t spend ten solid years planning the rager they’re going to throw when you die.

There should be an Instagram for just tattoo artists.

Your "thoughts and prayers" have done nothing but build a hell where children are constantly murdered.

"I am not a dictator" says man who acts like a dictator.

It’s even better on desktop email

I definitely don't want children. I can't even handle my roomba being a fucking menace.

I am a tech professional... Who totally just "guess what? Chicken butt" to one of my coworkers this morning

when the AI bubble finally collapses and everyone who spent a year smugly hyping it suddenly has to come crawling back with their tail between their legs, i just want to say i am not going to be the bigger person about it. i am going to be meaner than you can even believe

*such* a banger

Bring on the potato olés. www.wyomingnews.com/news/local_n...

Friend sent me this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I prefer messages over voice because I can search messages when I inevitably forget something.

Fuck I forgot how many spell slots Costco on a Saturday costs

I'm very proud of myself. I almost got caught in the trap of "if I buy these organizers I will become more organized" before realizing "bitch you're never gonna do that"

Why can't my boss just send me a message? Why must she call for a 30 second phone conversation?

Owie ☹

Has the president jumped off the roof yet?

Wearing one hiking boot with my foot propped up on pillows.

Dear feelings, can we keep it together until after the installation people leave?