My first Pride I tipped $1 for every cup of water I got from the bar (on top of tipping well for every regular) and from that night on I never had to wait for a drink in any bar downtown, no matter how packed they were, it was great, it was like being a very minor but beloved celebrity

Five books to get to know me by: 1. Les Miserables 2. Lord of the Rings 3. Dracula 4. Exquisite Corpse 5. Crash

I have the urge to sew a robe and I have the perfect fabric already in my stash but BAD NEWS it’s in the Deep Fabric Stash that can’t be accessed unless I move: laundry chair, stuffie basket, cedar trunk, diabetes supply crate

So what if I didn’t eat any of my grapes before they all went mushy, I DID manage to put on a pot of kielbasa beans before the kielbasa went bad!

We are doing groundbreaking work in baby talk over here, I just asked Coleslaw “who’s the prettiest little salad??”

In case any of you haven’t felt an acute sense of betrayal lately, HamBeans’ 15 Bean Soup Mix actually us 17 different kinds of beans in it.

Drunk. Sorting beans. Watching conspiracy theory videos. Moisturized. In my lane. Flourishing.

Pharaoh: and there will be a great cry throughout Egypt, such as there never has been or ever will be again! Me, halfway through a bottle of wine: oh bestie you don’t know how right you are

In hindsight, maybe Tzipporah was my gay awakening

Time to drink a bottle of wine and watch Prince of Egypt, chag pesach sameach

When we come back to the apartment I tap the mezuzah and kiss my fingers and then I tap the mezuzah again and hold my fingers down for Coleslaw so she can kiss them

Woke up to a text from my fiend saying “KAT HELP [HUSBAND] DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE OMEGAVERSE” accompanied by said husband’s phone number lol

cannibalism

Me: hey, uh, body, you know we had plans for today, right? My body: the only plan we have is nap :)

The torture scene from the 2006 Casino Royale

Aed Bed Ced Ded Eed Fed Ged Hed Ied Jed Ked Led Med Ned Oed Ped Qed Red Sed Ted Ued Ved Wed Xed Yed Zed

Oh no I thought of things to add to my presentation

chag pesach sameach!

Coleslaw was so mad that I had to work late for the third day in a row that she kicked my poor platypus out of the nap chair.

IT IS BEFORE SIX THIRTY PM AND MY PRESENTATION DRAFT IS DONE WOOHOO

Why do I have heartburn and do not say “chocolate for lunch + coffee + mountain dew”

“Kat how much do you like Match with the Demon” normal amount

GAY AUTISTIC TRASH DEMONS!! GET YOUR GAY AUTISTIC TRASH DEMONS RIGHT HERE!!

We are three (3) work hours into April and my monthly “task list/project tracker/priorities/important things to not forget/stats tracker” spread is already over 75% full lolsob

Me, poking my brain with a stick: come on, are we gonna finish this presentation draft today??

This is the third time that I’ve knit this exact hat in this exact yarn in this exact color, but the first two times were for my brother and this one is ALL MINE 🧶

Okay. I think, FINALLY, that the hardest parts of this presentation are done and all I have left to do is fill in some empty slides and find example records, so we’re calling it a day.

sure is nice to be appreciated!

new vocal stim just dropped

Coleslaw is all snuggly wuggly in the nap chair with blankie but *I* have to keep tapping my keyboard until my presentation makes sense.

Will this presentation eventually coalesce into something other than an incoherent pile of half-completed slides?? God I hope so.

Lobster roll with extra Slaw

happy???? tdov? I guess??

What is the point of my insurance having full access to my medical records if they’re just going to keep trying to get me to enroll in programs that I’m contraindicated for

@ my body why are you harbinging, cut it out, I have been in full compliance with my care plan for two (2) whole days

elotes frijoles get in my belly

Okay I have successfully made the necessary access files and added…several things to my long-term to-do list.

I should be working on my presentation but nooo instead I am making access files and fighting with photoshop bc it won’t let me turn certain tiff files into fucking jpegs FOR SOME GODDAM REASON

File name: aaaa Me: me too, jpeg, me too

Mr. Laundry Repair Tech came this morning and banged around in the laundry room and left looking very irritated on his phone and anyway my building’s getting a new dryer

See, if I were in Angelina’s position, I don’t think I would forgive my sisters and stepfather, but maybe I’m just a shitty person

You: La Cenerentola Me, an intellectual: Rossini’s Cinderella

pride and pinch hitting

Cinderella: why must I remain always among the ashes?? Me: bitch your name is literally Cinderella

I got that dog* in me *autism

Is Rossini predicable or does he just know what works

This is probably the kind of day my sister was thinking of when she said she didn’t want to live the way I do, but joke’s on her bc I may not be able to leave the house today but I CAN hang out with Coleslaw and put on OperaVision and sort my jar of mixed beans and make caramel latte, so there.

Me sowing: 😄😄☀️☀️☀️🎉🎉 Me reaping: 💀💀💀🙃🙃🙃

When I tell you that Annika wasted NO TIME dragging my ass