Hi friends! Liv and I are running the B.A.A. 5K for Special Olympics Massachusetts in April. Our fundraising goal is $500. Please chip in if you can for this amazing cause 💛💙 fundraise.specialolympicsma.org/index.cfm?fu...

Absolutely devastated that college football is coming to an end but I have a good feeling about this game 🍀

I’m going to save so much time from the TikTok ban

I have a dumb question for criminal attorneys. How does the counts thing work? Like when someone gets charged with three (3) counts of murder but they only murdered one (1) person

That’s just my DMs

Sometimes I see the most unhinged cases and I’m like ohhhh you’re going home with @esqinhiding.bsky.social

Charles marrying his side piece, George W Bush

How do people with sensory issues have children? Noises, touching, etc.

OC has been increasingly aggravating and frankly, weird. I looked him up on Unicourts and saw that he is actively fighting a DUI charge. Good luck, brother

Love telling opposing counsel that they are fighting ghosts when something is getting overlawyered

I’m going to record myself screaming and send it every time someone asks me a question that I already answered 10+ times in the past

Oh no, but unfortunately the thoughts and prayers you requested is still under review

I promise to quit drinking and stop being an asshole if and only if confirmed as Secretary of Defense. If not, I will continue drinking and being an asshole

A man is likely to embarrass you, always. Don’t let him be 5’8”

Barely made it but still made it

External counsel is harassing me (in-house counsel) to harass the client about a deadline. I did not learn how to handle this in law school

Joe Burrow is so good for fantasy football but he looks so sad 😭

Opposing counsel who constantly talks about being a grandparent has been insufferable over Thanksgiving weekend. Brother, are you not invited anywhere?

More boy moms need to be like Pete Hegseth’s mom

How does one work for the NFL as a lawyer?

I’m at the age when I decline an alcoholic beverage around the holidays, I get the “oh 👀”

(involuntary eye twitch) “will do!”

Any Arizona attorneys looking for some of counsel work?

(literally cannot possibly do one (1) more thing) “will do!”

I love reading about tax codes, regulations, laws, etc. to wind down at night. Makes me so sleepy

That’s fine because I identify as 6’4”

Why is the key to a successful week working on Sundays…

Every Sunday, a group of 22-35 year olds wreck my short-term mental health #dolphins

I am going to pretend last night’s game didn’t happen

OH MY GOD THE ‘OLE MISS UPSET @cfbplayoff.bsky.social

#lawtwitter #lawsky starter packs thread 🧵

So basically Florida is going to lead the group project?

My life has significantly improved since deleting the Instagram app from my phone— no more constant engagement/pregnancy announcements giving me the scaries

Working with a concussion is so fun because everything is in dark mode and no one is allowed to call me

Can someone put me on a good #lawtwitter list 😢🥺

Every Sunday, a group of 22-35 year olds wreck my short-term mental health #dolphins

Hate watching Georgia

I know I can relax when they swap Simpson for Milroe 😌 #RollTide

Every Saturday, a group of 17-22 year olds wreck my short-term mental health

As a millennial, I have about 1-2 more “unprecedented times” in me before I move into a pineapple under the sea

I can never return to office because I've become accustomed to screaming multiple times during the work day

Going to get stoned and eat pizza— before RFK bans both

Alabama is roll tiding today

I get second-hand embarrassment every time Vivek Ramaswamy opens his mouth. We are supposed to be smart and good at math. It’s the only good stereotype we get and you are ruining it for the rest of us

A little too hungry for bed but way too sleepy to eat

The secret to losing weight is just being nauseous all the time. You can achieve this with crippling anxiety. If you do not naturally have anxiety, you can buy a law degree for about 100K

#lawtwitter starter pack 2 (being updated live) go.bsky.app/749H2A1