And weird facts probably about weird birds.

Being an in-house attorney can be best illustrated by this meme

Oh hi. Been a minute on here. What did I miss?

It’s been quite a day, so cheers from happy hour

Squad goals

🫣

Happy Monday from me and my emotional support pile of unread books

The Office episode “Scott’s Tots” was the cringiest thing I’ve sat through watching… until I heard the texts between Karen Read and Brian Higgins.

Perhaps they should about the prehistoric lizards.

About to see this and it’s like one of the last days to see this in theaters around here apparently - solo date it is 😊

And here’s Tyrion on his forever home day! I’ll only ever get rescues from now on, they are such great pets.

Prosecutor in Karen Read reminded me today exactly why I hated litigation. The attorneys that just are rude and difficult for funsies are the worst.

One thing about me is I will always stop and watch this clip with sound on when it comes across my feed.

God I’m such a nerd. Watching coverage of the Idaho murders motions and loving it, while doing my lawyer job. I like this judge very much. *Not loving that it happened but loving listening to the arguments.

But Your Honor, they set a Teams meeting with 10 minutes’ notice then didn’t even join it.

But Your Honor, they Microsoft Teams messaged me with “Hello” and nothing else first thing on a Monday morning.

Trigger warning on weight loss for some: I’ve lost ~6 lbs on my healthy eating. Today I ate some bread with cheese and feel suuuuuper guilty. Talk me down 🥺

Just nabbed tickets to see Hamilton for the first time with my best friend’s little sister who is basically my little sister and y’all I am 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

It’s Friday afternoon and I’ve once again hit the level of delusion that makes me believe I should start posting on TikTok and updating my public instagram.

BAHAHA

No. Christians feel persecuted because there is a vast media apparatus telling them that they are persecuted. There is no evidence whatsoever of large-scale discrimination against Christians in this country.

👀👀👀

Feelin fugly then someone compliments my eyeballs

Let’s go, Little Chef

Crème brûlée churro and coffee. Breakfast of champions.

I would do a lot of things for good French onion soup

Lindsay Lohan, the woman that you are 👑

Maybe not the funniest ever, but I lose it every time Gordon Ramsay calls someone a donut.

It is my Annual 1997 Oscars Grievance Day, on which I voice my grievance that LA Confidential lost the Best Picture award to Titanic in 1997.

I love the Oscars

Y’all

Babe come quick a new mental health coping mechanism just dropped

Oakley Introduces Line Of Sunglasses For Front Of Head http://theonion.com/...

Sigh.

Tried teal eyeliner today

Ukraine really does have something in addition to rare earths that the United States wants — a good president.

Let’s see what new fresh hell happened OH FUCKING HELL

LMAO WHAT

WHO DID THIS THEY DESERVE A PARADE

So sad 🙁

shout out to whoever invented music, that shit slaps

Found out there’s a place in California where the mayor is a golden retriever and why aren’t all politics like this???? Yes I would please love a pug president, sirs and madams.

Sure the country is falling apart, but today my boss said my rude work enemy can suck it and in that one glorious moment

Goooooood morning 😌

Imagine possessing this much audacity

“I can’t represent Sean Combs anymore” “Diddy?” “He did, that’s why I can’t represent him anymore”