ok, need to stop reply-guying and go plant my new tree

worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead

I’m through the looking glass here, people

Woke myself up laughing last night after a dream about two little animals called Piss and Shits, who'd written a book entirely in malapropisms. No idea what animals there were, they were just small and round

Heh, I got run over by a pap scrum once. Filming an interview outside the Burberry show at fashion week, a scrum was walking backwards as Kate Moss exited the venue. I could feel them coming and *BRACED* and the whole lot blindly toppled into me, a collapsed swearing mass of cameras and thugs

A delightful eggcorn from a customer enquiry this morning; they're asking after a 'walking wardrobe'. Very Howl's Moving Castle, that

Oh very clever God, if that is your real name, but if you think this’ll turn me into a believer then you shouldn’t have made it rain constantly for the last 4 months

My guy, he is plotting something #caturday #proofofcat

Hrnnng

Sometimes, *sometimes*, it’s best to forget about the world, and remember about cats. Monkey knows where his priorities lie. #proofifcat #caturday

Ooo I’ll just have one of those Christmas trufflaaaaaaghhh

Bluesky, my wife has brought this into the bedroom and I Do Not Like It. Is it haunted or am I just being a ninny? It’s haunted, isn’t it? I will not see morning, that’s it for me

Bluesky, my wife has brought this into the bedroom and I Do Not Like It. Is it haunted or am I just being a ninny? It’s haunted, isn’t it? I will not see morning, that’s it for me

My bother-in-law’s cat wears the most magnificent pantaloons #trousers #caturday

look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts

Was digging around in a box of my old Lego and, well, turns out I’m kind of a big deal

Unbelievably, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas generates such good will on social media that over the years we've raised somewhere approaching a quarter of a million quid for homeless charities. If you can spare a bob or two, sling some to Centrepoint, and here's the link: www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

Starling murmurations at RSPB Ham Wall yesterday evening. That rare thing of - perfect weather, perfect timing, and picking the perfect spot. Probably the most spectacular sight in British nature I reckon.

All the feets where I can see em

I worked in a camera shop in the early 00s when we still all used film. One customer came up to the counter and said “do you process”, waggling his eyebrows, “adult photos”. I laughed and said “sure” AND OF COURSE WE ALL LOOKED AND YES I WISH I HADN’T ONLYFANS THIS WAS NOT

No one ever mentions the Keith Harris Show

Latest project finished, a DJ console for a customer in Bristol. Always fun to do these sorts of pieces - you generally know it’s something they’ve been really looking forward to for aaaages.

Yesterday, wind produced 59.6% of Britain’s electricity - almost five times more than gas. Despite what you hear from fossil fuel-funded politicians, every unit of clean renewable energy we produce is delivering U.K jobs, energy security, and a brighter future of our children.

Look I don’t want to go starting up the us/uk food discourse but the Americans are sharing their celebration dinners and fuck me if it don’t look like 1972 is calling and wants its beige food back

Ideas to devalue your £2m home: Install an outdoors glass cubicle toilet on your front drive and make sure you use it regularly. Keep eye contact with anyone who sees you using it.

Yeah it’s pheasant night, yeah this little guy was asking for some for the entire cooking time

Monkey is having an extremely satisfactory evening

Of course, like all right thinking people, I don’t look at my phone when I’m on the loo… but I probably shouldn’t have read this whilst I was on the loo

It’s the worst prime minister ever and the most far right Home Secretary ever and it’s happened for the fifth time in a fucking row (tbf, and I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, perhaps that’s not entirely fair to rishi fucking sunak)

@milesklee.bsky.social ‘tis the season for increasingly unhinged British crisps.

Ahhh my old home town. As weird as it is to think of Tom Cruise strolling down the high street, I never once saw him in Martine’s to take advantage of 50p a pint nights www.theguardian.com/world/2025/n...

Always worth following Tom, and his wonderful stories. His parents make really good art too.

The piece where I get to say everything that's bugging me about the world of detecting & archaeology & ask - why are we not more concerned about this? (Thank you to everyone who read through drafts & offered thoughts, advice and ideas.) #Archaeology #Detecting 🏺 bigbookoftorcs.com/2025/10/27/t...

Bilbao knows what’s up

Another little wardrobe finished this week!

I’m not usually one to dunk on a 19 year old, but seriously, this little prick

Mop, not my cat although it appears I am his human, caught in spectacular form this afternoon

Make fascists afraid

I mean I'm not even really posting this to win the book, I'm just posting this so you follow Tom and read his lovely books and blog. No one posts better pictures of sheep friends.

Buy a mountain bike, a good one, get riding, fall off, laugh a lot, ride some more

Trump’s died again, pass it on

This thread is amazing. I want to carve one and stick it on my house

The idea of gathering all the world’s billionaires and sealing them in a deep cavern is simple, but actually fitting them all in there with their stupid boats and jets is staggeringly difficult.

Buy an old house, they said, it'll be fun, they said (no one said that)

Good run this evening over the Levels - saw a heron, an egret, three deer and a kingfisher. And then stopped just before home to watch this rather good sunset.

Couple of my MTB mates need only to look at a bramble and they piss blood. My sympathies to nick and guy this evening - especially to guy who also had an argument with a tree and lost

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Finished this for a customer today - did most of the install before back holiday weekend but had some paint touch ups to do. Love seeing my work once it's all loaded up and in use, and is yet another reminder to 25 year old bash to NOT ABANDON YOUR SODDING VINYL COLLECTION YOU IDIOT

Dog days of summer. Let's eke it out, just a little while longer