I just fell down my own stairs and landed on my arse and my elbow. A little unexpected reminder that I know the difference between them.

I’m watching the Ladder To Heaven episode of South Park and I’m having a great time.

Toffee Crisp are brilliant.

BIG PARTY

If I went into space I’d moon everyone.

I’m a St Mirren fan tonight.

Currently enjoying this Tory version of pasta n sauce.

These are far hotter than I was anticipating.

Is that woodchip against the wall?

Just found a tin of motor oil for Jarvis Cocker’s car.

I’m in the waiting room at my kids swimming class. There are three annoying kids playing Tig nearby me. The temptation to trip them up as they run by me is absolutely off the scale. The main reason for the annoyance is that they’re calling it ‘Tag’.

T-Bone Steak Roysters are a top ten crisp. Possibly even a top five.

Wonder if anyone sings “it’s beginning to look not like Christmas” when they’re taking their festive decorations down.

Just remembered Hearts didn’t win the derby. Lol.

I don’t know who needs to hear this.

I’ve had this tattoo for 8 years now, that’s a full 8 years of wanting another tattoo and not doing anything about it.

Sportscene with the James Brown bantz

Had a wee Christmas lunch with @fattusprickus.bsky.social and @weezus.bsky.social today at Down the Hatch. I had some of his Korean wings despite my own burger and Parmesan fries. #greedycow #itschristmas

See? Chicken curry. Butcher at craigentinny.

Right. That’s it. I’m away to get a pie.

I got Sonic The Hedgehog in the secret Santa. Getting him this wallet.

I’ve just delivered materials to a job for next week. The guy took a while to answer the door and, judging by the strained look on his face and the smell in the air, he was mid-jobby when I rang the doorbell.

Made it almost ten full days into December before hearing the single most boring Christmas song in the whole world. I’m taking that as a victory. (Fairytale of New York).

I like when you unsubscribe from spam emails & they give you options as to why you’re leaving and one of them is ‘I never subscribed to this’. You could’ve just fucked off in and left me alone but you decided to type up some utter shite and send it. A bit like I’m doing here with this post.

I’ve just came home from work and both my kids came running to see me. I thought it was nice until, without so much as a “hi dad”, both of them broke the news that the WiFi has been down for 90 minutes. I’ve rectified the issue now but it’s gave me a glimpse into how they’ll act at the apocalypse.

a jazz bar called hornpub

I’m sitting in the parent bit while my kids are at swimming. There’s a dad who wears two pairs of glasses on his face. I’ve seen him do it before, and today, he’s doing it again. An actual specky six eyes. Not taking a picture of a stranger for the internet though so you’ll just have to believe me.

The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance is basically just Bohemian Rhapsody for Emo’s. I even asked my Emo pal and she confirmed it.

Nobody even asked for my opinion on the matter but Ritter Sport chocolate bars are severely underrated.

Shit.

Massive away win for the little fella.

This Is Fenton (DugPrickus) and I want to be as asleep as he is in this picture. Very big sleep goals.

This little post you’re reading is a post dedicated to the brilliant baseline in Loose Fit by The Happy Mondays. I hope you had a jolly good time reading it.

I’m listening to The Darkness because they’re excellent and it’s getting me excited to go and see them next year, which will be excellent.

Wonderful creativity from the kids at Christmas! 🎄

I wanted a bacon and cheese croissant so I went and got one. I would like to take this opportunity to applaud my decision making.

Bob Geldof came on the radio and started talking so I switched stations (because Bob Geldof can bolt) but he’s on just about every single DAB station!

If I ever open a pub (and I won’t) I’d probably have a few TV’s in it but one of them would be dedicated to nothing but videos from that Francis Bourgeois laddie that gets excited about trains. That is remarkably wholesome content right there.

It’s actually a wee bit staggering just how dead Rangers are.

Someone has asked me to make a door for this opening here. Sat laughing at the dog’s head for longer than I should have. (It’s probably a whole dog but I can only see the head).

This tastes completely different to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Avoid.

The old me would think that you shouldn’t be allowed to operate a coffee machine if you call it a “double expresso”. And the current me thinks it too.

If I was a farmer I'd simply get another job or stop eating avocados

We have the chance to do a live show at Marco’s ahead of the Boxing Day Derby. They have a 9am licence so for your ticket you’d get into the venue, a show from us, and a drink. If you can’t get a match ticket, the game will also be shown on the screens. Would you be interested?

Happy birthday to the bloody brilliant @fattusprickus.bsky.social If you dont yet follow him on here, you should. He’s ace and likes to shag cakes too.

Can confirm this is completely and utterly true.

I’ve brought DugPrickus for a walk. His version of a walk is to run for the ball once then have a wee lie down to protect it from theives.

Anyone remember this? May the good vibes on here continue 💚 🥬

Going to try and get through this whole app without having to have a list of muted words. Or at least for as long as I can.

I’ve often wondered if the people who work in sesame oil factories still enjoy the smell of it or if the novelty wore off quickly. It’s one of the best smells in the world but if you’re working with it all the time it must ware off? I say “often”, I’ve wondered it at least three times in my life.