Find out if this is true please @cainunable.bsky.social

@fenrisgames.com hello! I’ve been signposted to yourself as I am looking for someone that would be able to commission a large 3d T-Rex head,to mount on a wall. Something like the photo. Is this something you might be able to help with? Or direct me to someone that could? Thank you!

9 years ago today, Claudia Schiffer touched my dads ACTUAL ARM. We celebrate every year. Nothing fancy obviously. We just hire a hall, invite about 100 people max. Finger buffet, disco etc. All very low-key.

I’m in London. *stuffs cash in socks and bumbag and snogs Kate Moss*

You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.

Running Up that Hill is 40 years old this year. I just googled the super fucking hot dancer that was in it with her to see what he looked like now. Turns out he underwent gender reassignment surgery & is now a female Taxi driver in Jersey. Mind blown.

Why, I do believe it’s Friday.

Barney’s New Years resolutions: 1. Spy on the neighbours more ✅ 2. Always, ALWAYS, be prepared to play netball. ✅

Your steak looks nice mum. What am I having for dinner? Oh, dry brown rocks again? Wow, that must be what, 9 years in a row now. I’m so fucking excited.

The first Friday of 2025 can only mean one thing. Play us your banger little guy.

I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH CHARACTERS MATE

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

As Barney sat by the Christmas tree and reflected on his actions, he couldn’t help think that even though he’d eaten his sister’s new slippers before she’d even seen them, underneath it all, he was still a really good boy.

When you’ve watched both Masterchef and DIY SOS before dinner.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood Power Of Love is my favourite Xmas song. It was 1984, me mum & dad were having tea watching it on Top of the Pops and the phone rang. It was the boy from next door asking me out. I’d fancied him for ages & was so happy. AND we had pie for tea. Winner.

Double Fluff Oreo.

How many strepsils is too many? Asking for me. I think. I dunno really, I’m a bit dizzy and everything is purple.

Me, eyeing up the dessert trolly coming towards my table.

Had a meal at Delia Smith’s tonight. Actual Delia Smith was also having a meal in there and she came up and spoke to us when she walked past our table. The dizzy heights of living in Norwich. Next stop: Alan Partridge.

When you’re festive as fuck but also work in the red light district.

When I parked here earlier, these shoes were not there. #peterborough

Many years ago, a friends ex colleague went to a very fancy country house wedding where Robert Plant and Jimmy Page played an impromptu acoustic set of Led Zep songs. This was only discovered after she had initially described it as ‘2 old blokes sang some boring songs’

He’s off to do a bit of Christmas shopping today, but not before he plays you his Friday banger.

Husband’s mate’s mate (keep up) was married to a McCartney daughter. One Boxing Day, Paul was at their house and was playing the piano. His son in law was watching the football on TV, and snapped at PAUL McCARTNEY “For God’s sake Paul, give the piano a rest will you??”.

I won at Secret Santa.

In the days of yore, did anyone else ever make their mum and dad an ashtray for Christmas at school? My parents never smoked so of course, I made loads of them. I remember one clearly. It was really fancy and had a blue glittery glass finish.

Just been to Waitrose and a group of church people were singing old fashioned Christmas carols. I felt like I was in the days of yore and any moment Jack The Ripper would jump out and slash my throat. If that’s the nostalgia they were aiming for, then it’s a Bravo from me!

The Stevie Nicks and Harry Styles reunion we’ve all been waiting for.

Stop making up shit about us on social media and you can come in.

Every Christmas a man we know gives us a card & bottle of Whisky. We both hate Whisky. We don’t know anyone that likes Whisky. It’s frowned upon to gift Whisky to schools (we discovered in 2018🤨). Is it too late to come clean or shall we just start a new life in Mexico?

How it started, how it’s going 🥹😍

Now you come and say "Don Corleone, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather." You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me for my tennis ball.

Had a PT session first thing this morning. Then had my Christmas nails & lashes done where I was fed sausage rolls & cake which I ate because I’d just had a PT session. I’m now sitting in a cafe eating a bowl of chips which is ok cos I had a PT session this morning. 👌🏻

At 7, I played the Good Samaritan in the nativity. I had to put a bandage on the boy I loved but was so nervous I couldn’t do it. After a long silence from the audience the teacher did it for me. I always wonder if we never married cos he assumed I’d always be shit at bandages. 🫤

For years I thought Brenda Lee was singing “later we’ll have some fucking pie” in her song Rocking around the Christmas Tree. It’s just been pointed out to me as I sang it loudly at the local Christmas fayre it’s actually “pumpkin pie” and actually, that does make more sense.

I don’t want to piss on anyone’s Christmas fire, but how come in The Holiday, the taxi driver can’t take Cameron Diaz to the cottage door when she arrives because the car won’t fit down the lane, but he picks her up right outside the door when she leaves two weeks later??

“Hi can I book a table of 7 for afternoon tea for this Saturday please?” Us at work:

Went to the football today. (Yes, we played shit) By the time I had dug out my easy offside rule explanation and read it, I’d missed half the game. 😐

I’m hungover to fuck and can’t bloody WAIT to go to bed later. But first, I must go do some more drinking. Because Christmas.

Even though it’s Friday the 13th, the Friday song must still be played.

I came home from work tonight and fed the dogs, unaware that my husband had popped home and fed them earlier. Did they tell me this? Did they fuck, the fat bastards.

My memories on Facebook have reminded me it was a year ago today Eva sang Christmas Carols at a local care home. One sweet lady with dementia (unknown to Eva) sat through the entire set with her hand over her ears shouting “get her off”. Amazingly, it didn’t put her off 😂

Eva’s music teacher handed her resignation in today, and I messaged her to say “you will be very missed”. Except autocorrect changed it to “very kissed” so I guess tomorrow morning at 9am I’ll be snogging a 65 year old woman by the piano.

*scooby doo voice* “ro, rorry Rum, I rain’t reen Raddington’s rall”.

Drop a cool photo of you that someone took of you doing your job. 90’s clothes, 90’s computer, 90’s setting. So actually, not cool at all 😬

Spotted in Norwich today. A fine city of culture ☺️