It's exciting though, as you go to Lidl each day, past the security and through the barriers, and then have to prove you're not a shoplifter to leave, that the solution to the poverty driving the shoplifting is to just use pepper spray. Sorted.

And this is far from the only thing the Dutch can teach the English.

Our paper on turtle origins is finally out in Current Biology, with two major implications for our understanding of reptile evolution 🐢 #Paleontology #Turtles #Evolution www.cell.com/current-biol...

Wife and I were musing on this too. Came to same conclusion + we’re in SW London and so many high street stores are shuttered and high streets dominated by chains. Few family businesses left. Also part of the issue I think? High rents and taxes and no room for little guys? Who used to employ locals?

It's 2026. The Devil has unexpectedly [change to expectedly as 2026] appeared in front of you offering to buy your soul. You are uncertain. While you are considering the pros and cons of the Devil's proposal, an grinning former PM also appears advising it's a good deal. You suspect he gets a cut.

“As they stared into the contents of the President’s just removed diaper he demanded to know what they saw? Roses Sir! Golden roses! The President beamed. He couldn’t wait to post on social media that this afternoon’s golden roses were the biggest of all…”

Gobshites like Dale aren’t paid to think. He’s fulfilling his obligations well. To accuse him of anything else is to unfairly denigrate Dale’s work, and those like him, and to under appreciate their role in helping our great country achieve its current global standing and domestic living standards.

Wait. What. He led the Brexit crusade purely out of his marrow deep patriotism!!!

Until this morning I have not had the premise for a sequel. But I would like to formally thank Burnham (especially) and Streeting for providing the spark.

It’s difficult to overstate how inconsiderate it is to put this photo into my timeline when I’m in day 3 of not smoking, after 40 years of smoking (during which I enjoyed every, single cigarette). 🤣. Awesome painting though.

One of the things largely, damnably ignored in the Brexit years was the contempt the UK treated EU27 citizens with who had moved her legally and made their lives here. Just pulled the rug out and said cough up if you want to stay. That abandonment of basic humanity and principle leads to…

Once again, Burnham can get stuffed. We’re in the place we are because politicians, who can reasonably be expected to know better, have pandered to lies for political advancement.

How to change this debate. " Being outside the EU costs every UK household an average of £8,300 every year. But being inside again would only cost each UK household £38 every year. Do you still think we should stay out? "

Cut up my Labour card the day Corbyn started prattling “Jobs First Brexit” crap. Never voting for them in any election again until they stop pandering to the cancerous lie in our politics. Still stunned the murder of Jo Cox didn’t make very clear what rides with Brexit. So he can fuck off and all.

Let it be clear: you are wanted here.

FEARS FIREFIGHTERS WILL WRECK FIRE

My wife and I often have exactly this conversation. Although we hadn’t thought of the trophy :)

Thank fuck the silence is finally over. Brexit. The death that keeps on dying. 10 years we’ve lost. And counting.

Many Labour MPs, maybe even the PM, will tell us today that the far right rally doesn’t represent the British people. Meanwhile, the policies they support help normalise, at times deliver directly, what the far right want. This is not how we are better; it is not how opposing the far right works.

see it's dead pet day on Bluesky again. Yesterday is was cartoon porn day. Guess tomorrow it will be hospital selfie day? Now I think it's understandable that someone may publicly grieve a pet. Just don't know why Bluesky thinks I need a timeline of it? Curious site. Still better than X by far tho.

Today in "which lying liar is lying to me?"

Now because I’ve made a couple of football forecasting apps that scour the daily global fixture list for good Over 2.5 and Under 2.5 tips…I can tell you that Iran has resumed playing professional football. Make of that what you will. Presumably no immediate fear of US attack? Or…🤷‍♂️

When Sam Freedman @samfr.bsky.social shared his article about why universities were in trouble and why they need investment, a Labour MP jumped in to say they weren’t a priority for her. She may be surprised at how many people are employed in universities and how important they are to the economy.

Again I recall the surgery we had with Steve Reed MP. When asked about returning Thames Water to public hands he said "It would cost £200bn and no one would ever invest in the UK again!". Then we got a big water bill increase. Not even the intent to address old problem. Just contempt. Punish that...

Nothing to see here. Move along.

What accounts do people follow for UK news? My timeline is almost completely dominated by the (admittedly important) US midlife crisis. Just searched for “UK news” and got wall to wall usual big profiles and all focus on Farage…ffs. So suggestions appreciated for a more varied diet…

Downing Street release photo of PM receiving letter of support from 100 Labour MPs

Ed’s right. It’s a hell of a lot of words just to tell someone they’re a waste of space.

"My Government will continue to fail to use the god like power of a 170 seat majority, that if Mr Cameron had possessed, he would have used to re-impose feudalism overnight..."

"Residents increasingly viewed the administration as arrogant, combative and incapable of listening. People were not treated like citizens to be served. Too often they were treated like obstacles."

Drought fears in central/southern England, dry April leaves rivers low. 1trn+ litres of water a year lost to leaky pipes, 41.4trn litres since privatisation. Companies paid £85bn+ in dividends. Sewage in rivers. No national grid for water. Investment neglected. People fleeced. Nationalise water.

Pompeii has survived the volcano. It’s still there. So to be fair. Starmer may well survive today.

They should get Humphrys back bellowing “BUT THE PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED!?£&” at anyone who dare suggest Brexit might be problematic. Then soft-serve Gove. Killed R4 for me stone dead. And I was an addict for the whole schedule. Murdered the station. Ran it down. Backed up over it. Spun his wheels.

I'm in Lambeth so it's Reform? What's Reform? 4.0% of the vote in total. Now clearly being in the beating heart of the avocado munching metropolitan elite which overwhelming hates Brexit...well...you'd expect the deep state to hide King Nigel from us...but yeah, the UK media is a joke. Sigh.

POTUS should stop taking strategic advice from Russia?

"...but when the world, long on the simmer, boiled over into the swirling steam of nuclear armageddon, it was saved, the knob gas knob turned to off, by the simple fact aides could not wake POTUS to enter the nuclear codes. Exhausted by nights on truth social, he was deep asleep that afternoon..."

Man. Haters gonna hate. If your job meant you had to stay up EACH AND EVERY NIGHT posting your every uncensored thought onto your own social media platform between midnight and 0500 YOU WOULD NAP IN THE AFTERNOON TOO! THANK YOU FOR YOUR...wait? what? where am I? Oh. Squirrel. Better. In. Gold.

I humbly suggest the party of government, rather than looking for a king beyond the gate, looks at ... oh I don't know... the cost of living? *took cat to vet yesterday as he had a puffy eye - £150 later he has some eyedrops...so maybe get private equity out of vets? And other such things...no? yes?

Exactly that. Brexit devours all its servants and then, wipes its filth encrusted maw and extends its claws for the next idiot who thinks he can both serve and tame it with a collop or two.

Everyone almost : Stop doing this fucking shit we hate it. Starmer @ Co : We hear you. We’ll do more of the same. I despair. Just. 170 seat majority and wasting it like they’re doing a special electoral operation.

Myself and friends used to smash out satire (coping strategy), until all became so ridiculous, and figures like Trump were doing our headlines as policy, and techbro billionaires crushed the reach of non-fash aligned content anyway...even with that background I am struggling to believe this is real.

I keep shaking my head in wonder at this government and its majority and its lack of zeal. Think of what Cameron and his chums did to us with first a coalition and then a slim majority? And Starmer? Like he has 0 idea of why he wanted the job. Just felt he deserved it.

Thank goodness for Scotland and Wales....

Every word of this. And a follow on top.

The ebook of Elemental is currently on a madly cheap 99p deal. I can't believe I am telling you this. www.amazon.co.uk/Elemental-Wa...

If they just go and shout at the sea more loudly maybe no one will hear Farage as they stare at their bills and wonder wtf is going on, and when it will improve?

Tories doing least badly in London? Curious. But then maybe councils constantly finding new ways to rinse us for services, while reducing services, to try and make up their budget deficits (ty Tories) could be part of why? Altho presumably that’s the same most areas with councils?