Anyone have a sagacious 19 year old i can borrow to check this horoscope

My editor just sent me a press release from 1998. How did they even find this???

Why did God curse me with the exact height necessary to catch doorknobs in my bathrobe pocket when exiting a room.

The new Android message emojis are part of a covert censorship operation to obfuscate the malaise and disgruntlement of sub-boomer populations in the current dystopian political climate. In this essay I will

The Supreme Court ruled that nobody is a U.S. citizen Chief Justice Roberts stated “No person can be in this country. We all have to leave. Now.” The judges packed up their robes and are getting on a boat

Feels like April Fools' Day is an obsolete holiday what with The State of Things.

Oh did you want 3300 words from me on today's IOC sex testing rules? An essay on the nature of evidence and why we can't seem to stop getting stuck in the same traps around sex and gender in sports? Wow lucky you!! www.coyotemedia.org/the-olympics...

ladies DM me if you've got a

Birds seem like such a fun pet in theory but every pet bird I've met has been stressed out of its mind. Still dream of owning a toucan tho.

The Mother's Day marketing has begun and I am once again forced to recall the Top 5 most toxic ones with my abusive birther on an endless loop. Congratulations to everyone who had a normal mom but I will be internally screaming for the foreseeable.

Also doesnt help that I ran into a dude I had a Weird Experience with last night and accidentally said I thought we saw each other at [trivia bar] before I remembered who he was and now I'm

Whomst at trivia is riffing on our team name i am too paranoid for this sass

Post your Sun, Moon and Rising in one meme or gif ~ (I am committed to remaining a lurker on reddit so I just steal trends thank u) 🌞♈️🌚♈️⬆️♏️

Cracking open some boys in a cold one

I am begging everyone, but especially women who have relationships with men, to read this. 10 Types of Abusers share.google/WxtDAHH6qGbz...

Morning.

Post your favorite Lord of the Rings character. Wrong answers only.

If a tree had lungs, could it blow out a candle or would the oxygen concentration in its "breath" just make the fire stronger?

Fun fact: dating me is extremely annoying.

Oh hey sorry I was insane for 8 days how y'all been

Por que no los dos

Every time I make a ~positive lifestyle change~ I gain five pounds,my insomnia comes back and I start having migraines. My body is designed to run on garbage and rage.

Why did we as a society decide to make every website unusably bad? I hate every website I see. Bring back cuneiform tablets.

As someone working in media journalism let me just say that if you make GenAI trailers/images for movies I am specifically wishing you to die by swarms of fire ants crawling up your urethra into your body until you rip apart from the inside.

a good friend

Twin Cities Unions Planning 'Largest US Rent Strike in 100+ Years' as ICE Occupation Drives Eviction Crisis #ICEOUT #FDT #Rent #Eviction #MN #ICEOUTNOW www.commondreams.org/news/minneso...

On a personal note, in the past week I: -had a scammer try to change my paycheck deposit to their account. -found out both my ex fiancés live within 5 blocks of me -spent Valentine's with my bf's parents -got trapped in the hip thrust machine at gym I quit drinking at home and deeply regret it.

Tastebud pizzeria in SW PDX is being targeted by conservative trolls for publicizing their anti-ICE stance. So if you feel like a fancy woodfired Pizza sometime... share.google/jUbG9HlrUFhn...

Gotta go, my ride is here.

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller February 13,1964

There is a 70-something year old man in our trivia team and he is very much My Trivia Dad. I mentioned my back hurt once 3 months ago and he just brings me his Medicare super Tylenol and sends me acupuncture recs. Love him ❤️

Good morning to everyone except the gym bro throwing a medicine ball against the wall on the other side from where the clock above me is rattling and jumping threateningly

"By the end of the two-year period, 94% of participants reported they were housed. Many also reported that they had improved their financial literacy skills [...] that allowed them to leave unsafe or unstable situations." www.oregonlive.com/politics/202...

People who monetize their children as content on social media should go straight to The Pit imho

i guess my cartoon cartoons short came out! i finished it in 2021 when i was still very new to blender...but i still like it! youtu.be/WAnzOHcOl_g?...

My dad is trying to convince me to take this sculpture that has haunted me since childhood and I'm honestly torn because like... I hate it so much I kind of love it. Help.

Someone just rode down my street on a tall bike! Portland is healing ❤️

My supervisor asked if I wanted to call out for the general strike and I said we should shut the whole office and he told me we would need permission from our boss. 🙃 Said boss is currently on a cruise vacation~

Awesome print at home resource booklet for #PDX #ICE resistance ko-fi.com/s/ec28e7bc83

with all tenderness, go fuck yourselves www.portlandmercury.com/news/2026/01...

There is no excuse for keeping cowardly bullies like this on the police payroll. www.portlandmercury.com/news/2026/01...

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

Woke up sobbing uncontrollably and ended my night winning bar trivia 😎hashtag boss bitch shit