You're all lovely. I'll be asleep soon so am telling you this now. Thank you for your company this year and may we continue the daft merriment in the next. The older I get, the more I'm convinced daft merriment is one of the important bits of life.

Asking my kids if they need new phone cases because they are always dropping them. Immediate outraged denial of "I hardly ever drop it!" Under questioning, each admits to dropping it several times a week. Can't remember when I last dropped mine. Normals are ... different

#DuvetKnowItsChristmas has raised over £26k. @rhodri.biz you absolute bloody hero. Again. Thank you

A week almost gone from the fortnight we have here in a lovely, huge, warm holiday house, and I'm starting to realise the normality of my last 6 months are not what I want to call normal. Best realisation: this enormous kitchen is the same size as my extension will be! Not planning on wall oven tho.

A rather lovely walk, when I discovered the Spey hiding the far side of a fence. With a mossy tree and an outraged duck. There are 2 kites circling low over the field behind us. You'll have to trust me on that.

Am accidentally in Melbourne while the cricket is on. It's. Erm. Interesting. No Brits about all day then all of a sudden ...

We have 3 more days. Can get a whole extra game in for practice. Well done (finally) #TheCricket

Can one of these batters actually be a good pro now? this is unreal #TheCricket

:(

also: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I FEVER DREAM? #TheCricket

There were some Monet jigsaws too, but this was what we have done on and off gently over the last three days. I have a What's The Story In Balamory earworm. I hope Miles Jupp is satisfied.

Happy Christmas everyone. What a ridiculous view.

It's @rhodri.biz's #DuvetKnowItsChristmas again, and he has raised gazillions for homeless charities over the years while giving us a laugh. Tonight my kids and I are in a holiday home with enough bedrooms, but two days ago my daughter, Zig the dog and I squashed in the garden room. No pic tho.

Unbelievably, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas generates such good will on social media that over the years we've raised somewhere approaching a quarter of a million quid for homeless charities. If you can spare a bob or two, sling some to Centrepoint, and here's the link: www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

Morning. "Shall we go for a walk?" I asked the kids yesterday. General enthusiasm. Zig and I waited until 10.30 but we both know when the sun sets today and we weren't going to waste this.

This is what happens in your Christmas shop if you ask for "one piece" of ginger. Nearly half a kilo. (Nails modelled by my daughter.)

Now this is a lovely thing for Michael.

Was at a Christmas party with a load of clergy last night and as some people were leaving they found a person collapsed on the street outside so the Verger took over and called an ambulance and sent all the clergy away because "if they wake up surrounded by priests that'll just make things worse"

Luxuriating in the mahoosive kitchen of this holiday house, we suddenly noticed where the oven was. There must be a story behind this. There are ACRES of sensible places, but crucially and emphatically no.

Aviemore: passed a couple with 2 very waggy beagles on leads, standing in corner. Overheard, in the broadest of Welsh accents, "all I want yere is a bloody pizza, you know?" I hope their Christmas isn't being ruined.

Giddy with maternal excitement, as my kids start arriving for the hols. A day apart, naturally WHY WOULD THEY COORDINATE. Daughter and I have one night squished into the garden room with Zig before we all get to spread out tomorrow. (quite giddy about indoor plumbing too, tbh)

Can I point out that Alexa got the next three before she had even finished the first one? And clearly enjoyed it or she wouldn't be admitting it to everyone. Prob not too late for a little stocking filler delivery... JUST SAYING

Forgot to get a haircut. Now it'll be at least another three weeks, by which time I'll have to imagine I'm (a) whereas in fact the correct answer is (b)

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

This is the best thing I've seen for a long time ❤️

Wokem abruptly by the unmistakable sound of a dog revving up to vom. Got him outside in time. On the other hand, we are still batting??

decided to shift the scaffolding planks too because they were also in the way. I do not intend to lift anything heavier than cheese, chocolate or a glass of fizz for the next two weeks bloody HELL am knackered

All scaffolding moved. I was working 3-layers-and-a-scarf-removed hard. Coffee? Coffee.

@shelleyharris.bsky.social Morning! I'm going to keep saying good morning to prove you are not ignored... having said that, am about to go and lug scaffolding around and will be back for coffee ☕ 💈 (you get a barber instead of scaffolding pole because for SOME reason there is no scaffolding emoji)

It's the last New Moon of 2025 tonight and my first Moon photo montage of 2025 so here's a selection of December's 'Cold Moon' #astronomy #astrophotography @stormhour.com @photohour.bsky.social

So who is the Walliams ghostwriter? Are we allowed to ask that now?

“This aged well”

Am hopelessly lost in the days of this week: builders started last Sunday, but not here today, so it feels like Saturday but isn't. I stand no chance next week. Remind me to collect my kids arriving soon (on different trains on different days of COURSE)

ITS CHRIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAASSSSSS We knew, we knew, we always knew, and now the public can know too!

@janehill.bsky.social Thought of you while rewatching a film you might enjoy: Man Up (netflix -don't know if you have?) Essentially romcom, + stellar ensemble (Lake Bell in role she was born for, Simon Pegg, Rory Kinnear playing a blinder, Ken Stott (!), Harriet Walters(!!). Easy watch w good script

I have lured Alexa into the pub with our Stockwell Park Orchestra pals. Nobody tell her it is rubbish after page 171. Too late - I've made the sales.

For boring reasons, I have a load of scaffolding and other crap loitering on site, which is not exactly awash with turning space. So, left alone for a day, I've decided to Sort It Out. Half moved so far, from a) that space to b) that bank. Stopped for cuppa *collapses*

This thread is a delight. Of course I'm chucking you in in the middle. You can cope. You have a BCATSK ref for company.

This already feels like Friday because we started this working week last Sunday, but irrespective of that there's no way in hell I would ever understand this. Luckily, my builder does. I just want a kitchen big enough to twirl in ffs

I'm sharing this here, as I have on Facebook and Instagram, but there's no account on here to share from, and I just think this is wonderful. A really good balance of design and implementation, and appears to achieve everything it set out to do, and it *SO* appeals to my inner 'work nerd'.

Every now and then I get flashbacks to a very early career interview I did where I agreed (I know, I know but I was young) to let the subject read the piece before I published. He sent it back, having amended it with flourishes like: “…he added, with a wry smile.” 😂😭🤢

I woke up 10 mins ago. Sneaked the cricket on. Sorry this is all my fault. #TheCricket

Owl and heron calling in the dark outside. Wonder if they understand each other. And what's the heron doing still awake? Maybe telling the owl to shut up.

Heard this yesterday - a delightful mix of wartime evacuee history, CS Lewis in Oxford, with a wonderful nugget at the end.

Bought bag of four doughnuts. Ate one. Only third of way through my coffee. We all know what's going to happen now.

A mini-story to cheer you up this morning. The other day my teenage son returned to his locked bike to find the back wheel nicked. We went back yesterday to rescue it - and found this note taped to the frame. We have the wheel again. A very happy Xmas to Ollie and his note-writing other half.

hubris almost got me 🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩 = oh HO! excellent start 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 = this'll be easy 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 = yeah ok we'll get there 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 = don't be mean 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 = WHAT. bastard. BASTARD. relax. oh hang on 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 = *Bluebottle voice* you dirty rotten swine

HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering* ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin DETECTIVE: ME: are you getting apricot notes

Dunno what made me look at amazon (it's the only real-time indication I have) but there seems to be a Christmas bump of my book sales. Even though my long-promised fifth one in the series has been builder-delayed. They are a) perfect stocking fillers and b) available from anywhere other than there 🎶

You lot need Dick Van Dyke singing Let's Go Fly a Kite on his 100th birthday more than you know.