I gave Zig his supper almost an hour early today, because he was being a complete pain about it. There seems to be ... no downside to this? Why don't I give in every day? He is wolf. Clocks mean nothing. Hunger is all.

I think the people who sign their names under articles should get to decide what the headline is. We've tried the whole "make the-headline-deliberately-infuriating-so-people-share-the article-without-reading-it" gambit and so far it has not saved journalism

and look you can have this too, because it's almost exactly the hour two weeks today that it's going to happen. If you're around. And want to. I'm not forcing anyone

Finally got round to fixing the gate (sort of, in my Heath Robinson kind of way) - former builders had managed to lose the pin in the bolt in the spring (I realise we're now into Christopher Robin's train brake territory) which meant every time I opened it the bolt flew out of the spring. Wire. WIRE

I have bins to wheel to the lane, and a 40-litre water barrel to refill. My weather app keeps changing to say the next hour will be rain but only for an hour. Each hour. Feel like Charlie Brown. Gonna have to get my coat and wellies and tough it out.

WHAT a picture. observer.co.uk/culture/danc...

New series of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, with added Miles Jupp laughter at the others' jokes, which should be bottled and released over anyone feeling a bit down. Magical noise.

It's the time of the year for this one and HURRAH for Demps she is the best

🎶 STUPIDLY PROUD MATERNAL KLAXON 🎶 If you're near Chelsea on 30 Nov, you could pop into St Luke's to hear a few lovely carols, one of which HAS BEEN COMPOSED BY MY SON because he won the competition and gets to sing his own music. I think it might be livestreamed too, for mothers 500 miles away.

morning

Managed to get Zig to stand on some paper 4 times in different places so I could get his foot measurements. Snow boot ordering is go. Tho now worrying they sell them in singles not pairs so I might have got him one for a front foot and one for the back. He'll have to bound like a lopsided antelope.

Dusting of snow, and mystery prints. Pine marten?

This is a brilliant thread from @adamrutherford.bsky.social on the genetic and scientific aspects of the research: bsky.app/profile/adam...

So glad David Szalay brought this up. Booker Prize money hasn’t gone up in 23 years. Think about the impact of inflation on £50k. If there’s an economist who’d like to calculate it, I’d love to know. (In Times today by @robbiemillen.bsky.social)

I did a few emails, opened an account, and LO! today we have a 3-tonne dumper truck and a 5-tonne digger (WITH A PECKER BIT AS EXTRA) and we are abuzz with activity. Why we need a pecker bit is part of the Thing I can't quite talk about yet. But you're probably getting the idea.

I like to think Mostly Harmless talks to Moby Dick, and just sometimes Moby Dick lets Mostly Harmless do the relevant quote of the day. They both clear it with Suzie Dent, of course, in case of word overlap.

Honestly, I'm about to waste a £60 ticket for the BRILLIANT French singer Zaho de Sagazan, from 7pm at the Palladium. Please can someone take it. I can't make it. She is amazing. I'm gutted.

Slow cooker arrived. Washed. Tomorrow is the day of First Casserole. Reading the instructions, because I'm obedient. One question: I thought leaving it unattended was the whole point? There's covering your back legally, and there's being idiotic. Or both.

I mean ... look at them

Fine, I will write the next James Bond. INT: SEX CASINO, NIGHT BOND: Hello I am Bond James Bond my car goes NYOOM CUT TO: ten minutes of a chase in a sports car BOND: Also my watch is a special watch that makes ladies blouses see through EXPLOSION BOND: This film is for grown ups

Waiting for a reply from my daughter to say if I have her permission to share a pic of her a) on a horse b) jumping c) dressed as Cruella de Vil. The horse was also dressed as Pongo. She got a clear round and won first prize for fancy dress. It is epic. Let's hope she says yes.

they really do have a lot of friends

Going to put this on front of you again. The news moves on, but the problems faced by those living in Jamaica are still there.

I'd like a word with my brain. 2.15am-6.00am WIDE AWAKE 6.01am-6.28am sleeeeep with weird dreams 6.29am PING oh yeah my alarm goes off in 31 mins I'd better rev up *drinks gallon of tea*

New build regime started today (you can hear about Old Build Regime when it's finally [legally] over) and BOY am I a zippy project manager. Skip hire? TICK Portaloo hire? TICK Plant hire? TICK Contacting Building Control? TICK Architect conference call? TICK *Kermit typing gif*

Wetsuited-up Ed surfs up to the bank of the Thames at Westminster, steps off his board, hands Keir the letter, towels himself dry and gets on with his day. Spot on. God I miss Election Ed.

Last night my son told me about a secret thing he's doing this week. I don't know why it's secret, but can't tell you what it is. What I *can* say is that it involves telling a load of actors how to sing in Latin. Niche, but very cool.

the right winger who was appointed to lead the BBC in the hope of appeasing right wingers has been driven out by right wingers for not appeasing right wingers enough and the BBC has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

Me, giggling like a goblin, strapping myself into the BBC Boss chair, commissioning non-celeb sitcom & sketch show after another. High concept narrative comedies by women! 100 shows with writers rooms! Tell whatever celeb blokes are doing a travel show they can make their own way back from Bordeaux!

Booked my flu jab, because I'm the exact target audience scared by today's news that the virus mutated over the summer and we're in for a bad winter of it. Paying for jab, mind. The government doesn't care *that* much.

When I don't take his polite sitting-down death stare supper hints (half an hour early and I've just about dragged him into GMT now), he walks backwards pulling silly faces wagging his tail

it'll be fiiiiine shh

Don't have to get ready for photo ops like this if you STAY ready

First time my air fryer and I have fallen out. It burned the top of my ginger cake. BUT I was going to ice it anyway so will slice the top off and nobody will ever know. Do not dob me in it.

Into the eight hour. Fourth call. This hold music could actually drive me to violence. But my call *is* important to them. So there's that.

no reason to watch this. no reason

As the cold winter months stretch out ahead, I stared at my one hob ring and tiny air fryer and had a yearning for warming casseroles. So ordered a slow cooker (I think @janjonesauthor.bsky.social said I should ages ago). I can give it to my son when I regain a kitchen so NOT A WASTE OF MONEY

Caught in kafkaesque loop trying to track my mother's supermarket order from 500 miles away, when she lives 1.3 miles from their shop. New driver didn't see her flat number. Apparently went in, didn't ask at front desk, went away again. 5 hours and 3 lo o o o n g calls later we are still wondering

If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

It has been Quite A Week. I may have poured myself a small glass of wine. Hello

For complicated reasons I'm not going to get into, this afternoon I had a wonderfully circular conversation, halfway through which I realised we were reënacting (oh hai The New Yorker) Grosse Pointe Blank's first Ultimart scene: "what are you doing here?" "what are YOU doing here?" "I live here" etc

Just thinking about Celebrity Traitors last night and the fact that if they’d been on that train just 10 seconds longer the scenes would have been horrific. Massive relief all round I imagine, it would have put a serious crimp on what has otherwise been a very successful series.

a thing I have just said out loud, alone in a room apart from a dog: you've just done a reply-all, haven't you? what a knob It's important to be able to vent so we don't all get ulcers.

I don't think I can ever believe anything David tells me about a house again.

22 days ago

So Alan can split it 4 ways yeah? and GIVE JOE HIS CUT BECAUSE HE WAS RIGHT FOR AGES

THEY ARE STUPID MEN

oh god I pop in, see Sandwich Guy's vindication, RT it, then scroll down for puntastic wall-to-wall everybody elsing. Soz for adding NOTHING who even am I

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.