I've been out and appear to have missed a GB GOLD MEDAL good grief

ah - having just seen that Mackenzie Crook detectorists remembering thingy (last RT), it must be time for a rewatch. Been a while.

Talking of Mackenzie Crook, this is predictably lovely www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

Half-watching the reruns of last night's men's skating, and wondering why the Kazakhstan guy had sampled the Rivals theme tune?

Speed skaters: the only costume that looks more uncomfortable than indoor cyclists'. Put it this way, it's the exact opposite of what those ingenious ski jumpers were trying.

loving Bruce Mouat's little PE drawstring bag to carry his curling shoes in, while everyone else on the GB team has a posh Team Rucksack

In front of a new house with a lake view is a large sign offering a reward for the “heinous act” of cutting down some trees on public land. Instant assumption: The owners probably cut the trees down for their view and the city knows but can’t prove it, so put up the sign to ruin the view. A+, man.

If you've never heard this, go for it. I guarantee you won't be disappointed. And if you are I don't think we can be friends.

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower drives my green age Dylan Thomas always muscles into my head at this exact point in a year, especially after this winter's relentlessness. But look. Colour will return.

What an amazing interview, and what an amazing woman.

oh good lad #slidy

I would watch a documentary on how you build a luge/skeleton/bobsled track. It's probably not someone wandering down with a hosepipe while people clamp freezers to the underneath. Though that too would be entertaining.

these half pipe commentators are my favourite thing of these games - they are so damn enthusiastic and having the best time. so infectious

This is going to sound sexist and awful (I hope I'm neither) but the women's feet seem to flop about a bit more on the tea trays than the men's. I of course am an expert and could hurtle down an icy tube head first at 90mph no problem

Every time our commentators get a bit cocky about our medal hopes, it all goes tits up. Am now nervous for Matt Weston on the slidy tea tray.

I love snow. I love winter. But ffs this year I am trying to build a house.

After realising that I am exhausted and furious and thus probably dangerously stressed, I told myself I needed a break. Have booked a couple of days away from my muddy building site and outdoor-plumbing-garden-room, by the sea. DELIGHTFUL BONUS FEATURE: it's near the Local Hero beach telephone box.

At the moment on the BBC, two middle aged men are commenting on the performance of the women snowboarders and it is full of respect and massive enthusiasm for the skill, craft and athleticism of these (very) young women. It is a wholesome antidote to everything else going on.

Ridiculously bad sleep last night, so I'm fixing it the correct way: large pot of strong coffee and already on my third jaffa cake.

I have started. It is perfect. Carry on everybody.

This is what I want to watch at the Olympics. #dog

busy morning getting his arthritis jab at the vet, so I've tucked him in for a siesta

I haven't started Small Prophets yet. Wait for me.

Post a banger that isn't in English? *finger hovers over almost entire operatic repertoire* [CONVERSATIONALLY was a backing singer for Andrea Bocelli years ago when he was lipsynching a Christmas number on the UK lottery show when we did adeste fidelis and yes we out-sung the playback in studio]

I don't usually RT myself, but this has an INSANE number of trick names crowbarred into it and the women's Big Air final has just started. Come on. Let's take our minds off the curling.

I'm not emotionally ready for Jen and Bruce to start being a bit rubbish while Sweden cannot do anything wrong. Yes I'm invested. #TheCurling

Sweden are currently playing unacceptably brilliantly. #TheCurling

If it has to happen (does it though? Thor DOT gif) I'll accept nothing less than Chaos With Ed Miliband.

House rule: cats aren't allowed on the table The cat:

as promised (or threatened): your snowboarding vocal exercises for today sorry

Only in curling would you expect to recognise everybody in the crowd. Bruce in his interview there, saying "and there were even people there we don't know..." This is adorable and I don't want him to change ever.

I have found a list of all the snowboarding tricks and grabs vocab list and damn right there will be a silly poem coming tomorrow. It's how my brain is wired.

[watching the winter Olympic snowboarding] COMMENTATOR: a lot of anticipation here. are we going to see a 1640? ME: the end of the personal rule of Charles I? ONE MIGHT HOPE

I'm posting about silly things because (apart from *gestures* all the rest of the world) that AI article has made me too cross to think straight.

Listening to the poetry programme on R4 and being reminded that the two groups of people who should never be allowed to read poetry aloud are actors and poets.

I don't like that the recent news story (about ski jumpers arranging their underhangings during costume fitting to get more lift à la flying squirrel) is now making me wonder about the smalls requirement in the men's luge. They want FLAT and AERODYNAMIC. Do they wear special undercrackers?

A stoat in its white ermine coat ran in front of me today - I've never seen one not overlayed with a Chris Packham voiceover. Breathtaking and stunningly beautiful! Little bit of black on their tail. Rippled across and into the hedge the other side like a liquid. stop poeting rogers

The aurora last night in Beaver, Alaska was just incredible. This is a real-time video (not sped up) of the crazy motion I saw. Also, look how BRIGHT it is, wow!

Listening to the Beethoven piano concerto on R3 reminds me again how brilliant Dudley Moore's Colonel Bogey was.

I think you should get extra points if you whip a butterfly net out of your anorak and catch the drone as you fly off the jump. #FlyingSnowboardEvent

That splendid sign-off of the Queen Mother’s – “Tinkety tonk old fruit, & down with the Nazis” – celebrates its 85th anniversary today

In today's hilarious character-fish, I was asked "Are you very musical like your son then? I thought it was just the cello…" There will be a perfect gif for this. You'll be imagining it now.

I know nothing of this flying snowboard event, but I do know that these two guys commentating would normally be swearing liberally with their fanboy enthusiasms and are CLENCHED HARD to keep it decent for the BBC. Except for every other word being 'backside'. #TheOlympics

shout out to the alpine horn duet going on calmly during the curling chat

Downhill skiiing: risking splintering yourself into matchsticks while being chased by a drone.

Bruce casually wafting up and down the curling ice wearing a t-shirt.

Bit of a weekend lie in as I didn't have builders arriving before dawn. Well rested, I thought. So well rested I just put milk in my coffee. Drunk it black all my life. Now forcing it down because I refuse the faff of making another pot. Metaphor there for many things, I feel.

Got the curling on in the background. Just wanting to put that in writing in case anyone overhears me working to a soundtrack of "Yes. Yes! YES! Hard hard. HARRRRRD! Yes!"

These are the AI skills the government should be teaching everyone