Tonight 🥳

Sketchburn is back on December 4th at the all-new Free Association theatre in Southwark 🥳 www.sketchburn.com

When your husband’s been kidnapped but you hate phone calls ☎️

When your husband’s been kidnapped but you hate phone calls ☎️

Sorry I’m late! I would’ve got here earlier, but there were some young kids waiting at the pedestrian crossing and I felt morally obligated to set a good example by actually waiting for the green man

London friends! My scratch night for sketch comedy films is back next week on September 17th 🥳 www.etceteratheatrecamden.com/events/sketc...

POV: You really want to boast about being a spy 🕵🏾

POV: You really want to boast about being a spy 🕵🏾

When you get a job writing AI summaries… 🤖

What if Kinder Surprises actually had surprises?? ✨ Feat. Jono Selvadurai, Bruce Tang and Lottie Field! And co-written with @filmboyslim.bsky.social 🙌🏾

A sketch I co-wrote with @harihkanth.com, with the perfect name for someone like me who rarely shares actual finished things. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqWU...

Me about to join a WhatsApp group with more than ~25 people even though every other similar group I’ve joined has inevitably descended into chaos: I’m feeling good about this one

“i hate this bad article so much, i’m going to share it with all my followers” ok but you could share something good instead and let the bad article wither and die, clickless and alone

David R. Hagen just solved a small mystery that I mentioned 13 years ago in the mouseover text of a comic drhagen.com/blog/the-mis...

I always find it funny how shampoo bottles are like “ingredients / ingrédients” and “water / aqua / eau” but then give up by sodium hydroxypropylsulfonate

London friends! Sketchburn is back on Tuesday, 17th June, with more sketch goodness from this lot 🥳 www.etceteratheatrecamden.com/events/sketc...

Watching New Girl all the way through for the first time, and this is possibly the most tragic thing that’s ever happened in a sitcom

It’s been a hectic couple of months, but I’ve finally got a free Saturday night to treat myself (reply to all those messages that have been piling up for weeks)

Just got a new debit card, which means it’s time to write a signature I barely use on a surface that is hostile to all pens for an authentication method that is basically redundant (but still stress out about it)

A great essay on a great show!

Running writing totals after March: – Submissions: 9 (+4 new) – Rejections: 6 (+2 new) – Tentative forward progress: 1 (+1 new) 😅 #100rejections🎉

London friends: Sketchburn is back on Monday, 31st March! Will we fit everything into the one hour we’ve got the room for? Only one way to find out 🥳 (Or I could just tell you afterwards) www.etceteratheatrecamden.com/events/sketc...

I'm a big fan of the Irish goodbye. Which goes without saying

New Substack post! This one is about The Good Place and how it made me rethink what a sitcom could be… harihkanth.substack.com/p/redefining...

Keep a film title the same by listing all of the words in their original order. I’ll start: “La La Land”

Running writing totals after February: – Submissions: 5 (+1 new) – Rejections: 4 (+1 new) – Tentative forward progress: 0 #100rejections🎉

Set myself a challenge to watch all of this year’s Best Picture nominees before the Oscars. Here is my definitive ranking based on all the ones I’ve seen: 1. Wicked (I completely failed at this challenge.)

Sorry I’m a bit tired today, had a late night (seeing the dentist next week so had to temporarily incorporate flossing into my bedtime routine)

It would’ve been so much harder to write poems for Valentine’s Day if the first guy had realised that violets are actually purple

Some common writing advice is to open with a hook and to kill your darlings, but Peter Pan teaches us that you can also be successful by opening with your Darlings and killing your Hook.

Whoever said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result was clearly referring to eating a hot apple pie from McDonald’s and feeling confident that you definitely weren’t going to make a mess of it this time

Running writing totals after January: – Submissions: 4 (+4 new) – Rejections: 3 (+3 new) 😅 – Tentative forward progress: 0 #100rejections🎉

App idea: Uber, but instead of drivers and riders it’s people who want to write books but never do and people who buy books but never read them

Beginning to think that ABBA’s views around money (“must be funny”, “always sunny”) might have been a little skewed by the rhyme scheme

It’s easy to accuse the Jurassic Park/World films for cashing in, but as The Land Before Time showed us, it’s actually physically impossible to make a dinosaur franchise with fewer than ten films

Excited to ride on the newly-rebranded “Mildmay Line” for the first time! The train is twelve minutes late, but the signage sure is a nice shade of blue

This Tuesday! The line-up has been written down, the readings have been rehearsed and the rough cuts have been edited. Should be a fun night… 🥳

I can’t believe I have to store all these years using four digits instead of two

‘Love’ has way too broad a definition — it shouldn’t be the same word for my wife and my friends and those Crunchie Bits things you get in Cadbury Heroes

It’s amazing how any sophistication you feel from going to an art museum immediately dissipates as soon as you buy a little postcard from the shop

Just got an automated message saying my local A&E was full, which is useful as I now know to postpone all the accidents and emergencies I had lined up

Sorry in advance, but will have to keep plugging this. Tue, 21st Jan at the Etcetera Theatre in Camden 🥳

I know the wildfires in Southern California are awful, but it’s *very* hard to read any reference to the “Santa Ana winds” without immediately thinking of:

Now that we’ve seen what happens to people when they accrue obscene amounts of wealth and power, I have to say: the Bond films really got it right

New thing for London friends: I’m starting a scratch night for sketch comedy films called Sketchburn! 🧵

Started watching The Traitors for the first time this year — not an expert, but if I was a Faithful I would perhaps try banishing fewer Faithfuls

Love: Mythic Quest, Schmigadoon!, Severance, Silo, Ted Lasso (S1), The Afterparty (S1), The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin

Final writing totals for 2024: – Submissions: 40 – Rejections: 24 – Tentative forward progress: 4 #100rejections🎉

I’m a fan of resolutions and fresh starts, but it was probably a mistake to put New Year’s Day straight after New Year’s Eve