What’s with people asking if the cocktails are “sweet” and then ordering it “not too sweet” read the ingredients!!

20k steps on the day and I haven’t even gone for a run yet

I have started Portlandia from the beginning for a first full through watch

I just can’t walk an adult man through how to forward an email to me this morning.

I wasn’t going to watch Phillies Mets but we’re in comedy zone now

Honk if you need a ticket for tonight. My neighbor fell and I’m in the hospital making sure she’s getting care. 🪿

I am open- closing work today and I am FUCKING TIRED

"How can you not be romantic about baseball?"

Make Stuart Rare Again

This is important to my core values.

I wish Mr softee would deliver right through my window like a reverse ice cream truck

Hey yall our shitty politicians have decided to put it to vote to shut down and dissolve our towns public library citing that people don’t read books anymore and that having a library is a waste of money. Even though no one reading this is a local it would mean the world if you signed this petition

I got free shoes from work but I don’t like them (round 2)

Longest daylight week of the year is a blessing

Looking for groundhogs?

RIP Mark Rothko. You would have loved how the hydrogen peroxide bleach is only turning the Reflecting Pool blue around the perimeter

I hope Curt’s having fun but also in the back of his mind thinking how much more fun it would be if I was there

We can have vacation at home

At least it’s hot AND humid out

Two shower type day

Will my mom notice if I drink these thc seltzers before the indigo girls concert tonight

Making slippy sloppy send tweet

I’ve had one day time martini and am about to go feral on main

It’s so hot out I’m considering taking a bus back from the restaurant I walked a half a mile to and bro next to me is wearing a hoodie and jeans

After one listen to the album this is my take :

Just pressed ▶️ on new goose

the Knicks are 86-47 since Tracy Morgan puked on the floor of Madison Square Garden during a 116-95 win over the Miami Heat on March 17th, 2025

This is the most insulting thing

Happy Pride to this Caravaggio self-portrait that made one man so gay he had to go to the hospital

Milo’s at camp today

In his first interview since being kicked out of the US, FIFA referee Omar Artan tells’s the NYT’s Matt Bigg that the biggest dream of his professional life has been shattered. The World Cup ref was questioned for 11 hours, held in a cell and then dumped on a plane. www.nytimes.com/2026/06/09/w...

NEW EPISODE: "Changing Lanes." A new documentary explores the fight to make Brooklyn's McGuinness Blvd safer following the tragic death of a beloved teacher. More than about a bike lane, it's a film very much made for this political and cultural moment. Listen: podcasts.apple.com/lu/podcast/c...

Doggy day care is closed today so we’re back at the dog beach but very much more prepared

You are only a real New York if you knew Dan was gossip girl by ep. 7 season 1 and just played along the rest of the time.

We are gonna have a DAY

The Dutch Reach. It works. A way to honor Riley? Use the Dutch Reach every time you open a car door. www.dutchreach.org

A City of Chicago employee who planned bike infrastructure projects was killed on Friday afternoon riding his bike in the Bridgeport neighborhood. His name was Riley O’Neil and he and I went to high school together and played on the lacrosse team together.

From Memorial Day to Labor Day NO SAMPLES at the ice cream shop.

Had a super week of running

Smile if you’re on vacation!!!

A random number just FaceTimed me and I had the sweetest little “I think you have the wrong number have a good day chat” with carol

Surround yourself by the funniest people

Planned in a bunch of essential and non essential side quests today

Yeah boiiiiii

The Divided Sky Foundation is hiring a Development Coordinator to join our team in Vermont. We are looking for someone dedicated to our holistic approach to recovery, centered on dignity, nature, and community. Learn more and apply here: bit.ly/4e0p6tx

Sometimes I wonder how I’m friends with the funniest people in the world and then I remember I’m the common denominator. I’m the funny one.

Every day is global running day if you’re me!

There is a god and they are gay www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5bE...

A blessed Pride Month to all ✨ 💖 ✨

Really glad I gave art direction to the 11 year old behind me “make sure Bruce is in the background”