I still cannot fathom how deeply stupid it is to ask a CHATBOT anything, let alone for personal advice. I feel like I’m losing my mind lmfao

[Going to the doctor and showing them this picture] can you make me this? Is there a procedure to give me a Dog in Hat Eating Hot Dog kind of life? This is what I want

the new Jobi Riccio, the new Nora Kelly Band, the yallternative revival is beautiful and keeps getting better

I would like to congratulate Zohran Mamdani - and only Zohran Mamdani - on Arsenal’s league title victory

Don't dull your shine for anybody! ✨ #dimension20

ok I sent the email to begin the vinyl pressing process. please clap

DAIRY BONDS

“just tell the press the war is over while we keep blowing up boats and fingies crossed no one notices”

that is certainly an eleven

Happy May Day!

Oblak buddy my guy

audio so far ahead its about to tell us who won the 2026 champions league final

ah these crisp banks of 4, the beautiful game

Mason Miller is a funny name cuz it’s two vocations are you a mason? or are you a miller? I need to know which sackcloth to give you

just got home from the weekly penance of my brunch shift and saw the score. will be hilarious if we still end up finishing ahead of United

worked a 10 hour shift on a banana and a Guinness AMA

would love it if this were Peter’s legacy 👍🏻👍🏻 really good in @baseballprospectus.com today

No matter how insufferable you might be, at least you didn’t godsplain to the pope

alas comparing last year’s aggregate score reflects well how much worse Arne has made us

gutted for Hugo. one of the few lights of the season. many more to come

fuck it we’ll win idk if we’ll go through

just thinking of the Ar**nal fans I blocked the last couple weeks, and how sad their lives must be lmao

just got off another nightmare brunch shift are the Reds mustard again

thank god, Castellanos walk off there and I would have feared the worst

it’s super cool how i am glad to be making the same amount of money in a similar job 10 years later with fewer benefits

we should have a third industry besides AI and gambling

Mason Miller vs the Rockies that inning

also this is next Tuesday and I’m so stoked to play with my friends at my favorite lil boozer

forgot to thank everyone who came to this streaming show! it was so fun and I hope to make it a seasonal thing

Atletico Madrid - Arsenal will be an unwatchable semifinal, please no

just one more time (this year) will never forgive Napoli for selling Kvara

ok now I’m scared up the Reds 🫣

I really hope Arne has adjustments in mind already for the second half cuz a) they are gonna look at video of this shape now and b) the legs on this eleven already look tired no way they don’t fall off pressing like this

that was both decent and disappointing. Hugo, Macca, Gomez, Gravvy all woeful but there’s only a goal in it

omg Slot actually changed the shape omg

alright, seated for Liverpool on a European night, not even a stubborn bald man can bum me out before kick off

the end of the “mentality monsters” era 😭

The most corporate ass customers of the game enjoying a leisurely day at the park. Hate this sport.

kissing a Man City badge is just shorthand for saying “I love money,” no other semiotic significance

kissing a Man City badge is just shorthand for saying “I love money,” no other semiotic significance

tonight! in a couple hours! would love to see ya there

this is tomorrow evening. I’ll just go live on Substack and play some of my tunes and a few covers. passive listeners welcome lol I kinda like the idea of serenading your evening routine

i was dubbed “Grappa Pappa” by a South Philly bartender so maybe i need a whip like this

this is tomorrow evening. I’ll just go live on Substack and play some of my tunes and a few covers. passive listeners welcome lol I kinda like the idea of serenading your evening routine

game 3 and Mark Grant has the prop lazzi going

catchers really showing out in leverage moments with ABS so far, love to see it. it’s fun tbh

oh I forgot to make my prediction for baseball season: the Padres will be underwhelming going great so far lol

i was gonna say “Chris Martin pitching in tight games? in this economy?” but yes it is actually exactly the perfect economy for him as a closer