I, a person who really thrives on 80* days, bright sun and palm trees, booked a trip to the UK in November. I was compelled by a mad desire to go to more museums, but, uh, what should I pack?

I have apparently hit the weird middle-age married lady toying with men at bars milestone? Is this that perimenopause people keep talking about? Unsuspecting bar patron: that seat is free, as long as you don’t bite Me: I only bite if you ask very veeeeery nicely, you’re safe.

Louder for the people in the back. Control is about what I want and what I get to use as I see fit. Denial is about what you want me to do to you.

The emergency advice I give most often is “alright, you need to identify the whole house water shutoff and turn it off.“ As I am not a plumber, I’m a little confused, but please take a moment to find your whole house shutoff for later. *note* turn off your water heater if water is off.

It’s harvest activity time again! Except I think the spouse was right and we’re just going to go pet farm animals and drink hard cider in a barn. After being denied donkeys I am kicking off a campaign for goats.

Trying to hold a map of London in my head long enough to try and pick a hotel. This is hopeless and I should just stay at that nice place by my old office?

I am once again begging the makers of at home “spa” products to label them as rental only or home owner safe. What am I supposed to do with the jelly foot bath after a nice soak?? Imagine pink rose scented jello clogging up my plumbing to relax at night?

Lady walking dog ahead of me in an incredibly sultry voice: “you are a bad boy. And everyone knows you’re a bad bad boy.” Do we think she is dissatisfied with the leash walking skill of the Shiba Inu, or do we think she is multitasking and doing phone sex while walking the dog?

Why yes, today’s gratitude practice is brought to you by “at worst it’s a $6,000 problem and not a house fire.”

Seriously, again?! I either need to stop using my good crêpe pan for any other uses no matter how tempting or get a service submissive for cookware maintenance.

Spending the morning reseasoning my carbon steel pan. Mistakes were made.

Yes, all kinks. I hate we live in a world where you have to worry having media critical discourse immediately turns into a censorship push.

Obergefell v. Hodges made me believe in the whole "arc of history bends towards justice." In the 90s, I didn't think gay marriage would be legalized in my lifetime because homophobia was so deeply ingrained. We would have never gotten here without the decision and now it may be overturned.

The first time I took my spouse to a romantic pick your own fruit activity he was incredulous, “we pay *them* to pick their fruit?!” My father in law just gave me a fruit picking quota for the day so this makes sense now.

Edmund White is a treasure. I am so sorry he’s gone but so delighted he had enough time on this earth to see Loves of My Life published.

It was a real mindfuck when my femdom literature and my religious literature crossed on the point of “active skilled receiving brings down gifts from the universe.”

Today while trying to find slides for a lecture I gave in 2018 I found, entirely unrelated, a PRD I wrote for an orgasm tracking app in 2012. I have to say, looking back with a decade of added professional experience, I did a pretty damn good job on the user journeys!

What a magical world we live in that I have to sternly admonish myself not to catcall a construction worker. It’s the kneepads and workmanlike behavior that does it for me. Clearly.

Terrible news, I have panic bought the latex skirt along with the recommended supplies to fuss latex. At least it meets my primary rule: I will only buy fetish wear that can be paired with either jeans or a white button down (ideally both).

I will not panic buy a latex skirt. I will not panic buy a latex skirt. I will not… *Because I never really learned how to wear latex and think it needs special care and supplies.

You know the idea that at a certain point in your career the way to get ahead is go to therapy? Was giving myself a pep talk before facilitating a workshop and realized what I need to work on as a facilitator of executive workshops is the same exact thing I need to work on as a top in my scenes.

Oh! One more: if you are told “a real sub/domme would…” and you have not negotiated specifically to be bullied or nudged in this way, run! There is no one real, there is “I prefer” or “only X works for me” but don’t let assholes rent space in your brain and then demand you repaint the walls.

I love my very productive garden, but after planting potatoes, squash, tomatoes, weeding the garlic, checking the apple trees…there is dirt in every pore and I am realizing there are two distinct seasons: gardening season and foot worship season. I’m just gonna be gritty till October.

I hate being a preachy old person but here goes: Sex changes as your life changes. Different values take center stage. This can mean leaning into & trusting kinks you’ve been scared to try and it can mean the opposite. If you’re picking a partner for more than the night, look at the full package.

just so we’re all clear: the reason they keep using dolls as their example is because they’re trying to frame caring about material stuff as feminine and thus inherently shameful

On the one hand, persistently trying to talk my spouse into farm animals. On the other hand, chasing geese and turkeys off with a broom. Spouse did get really into curating predators for mosquito control, so maybe a small goat for poultry control??

personally would like to see every store show what part of the price increase is due to tariffs bc if these tariffs ever come down, i need to see that price go right back down

Reminiscing about the early days of dating my spouse recently and can’t stop giggling over the mental math I imagine him doing: Well, this chick keeps talking about orgasm control, but she brought soup that one time I was sick, and she lives 3 blocks away, so I guess I’m marrying her.

Refreshing to see a big “brothel” bust without a bogus sex slave narrative… but with no savior fantasy, it really drives home how pointless this all is reason.com/2025/04/09/c...

Oh dear, spouse’s gentle nudging to spend time with a donkey before deciding to buy a donkey was…effective. I am so so allergic to donkeys. Or maybe just to Hydra??

I used to be good at languages. Now it took 6 months of duolingo and a French speaking spouse’s supportive tutoring to get a sandwich, a coffee, and the wrong kind of bottled water.

Guys, I said something about wanting a donkey and my spouse took me seriously and now he constantly brings me little facts about how hard donkeys are to keep and how expensive they end up being.

I don’t look at reddit much, but every so often I catch up on threads about how to get a vanilla wife interested in kink or how to make a dominant girlfriend more dominant and I ask myself, “should I run a class called ‘human factors engineering for kink’?”

I was incredibly unprepared for how *hungry* the shift from mostly yoga to weight training is making me. I have never in my life craved protein and WTF?!

Sure, I‘ll spend $4 and a couple hours on femdom alien romance… …how the hell are there 31 Brides of Kindred books?! Who has time to write this much??

Payback time. Bringing my “I’m just here for fun and stretching” vibe to GTX.

I am confused by the bros grunting in pain at yoga. My dude, it is Saturday morning slow flow, are you really trying to get personal best at touching your nose to your knees?

Ooh there are many things I’m excited about, but with $10M on the line we’re talking about practical, real world, user research.

In true smug married lady fashion - suburban edition - up early for a Saturday morning spa pedicure. Unclear if this is relaxation or not.

Years ago I met a guy in a Barnes and Noble. We hit it off, had a coffee, exchanged emails. I came home to a rambling email about how I was The One. It was too much, my guy friends told me to ignore and block: someone else’s job to clue him in. I still wonder what happened there!

Oh dear, and I just purchased an 1803 printed poster of a Morland painting because clearly engraving and then /hand coloring/ is soooo much more romantic and special than state of the art printing today 😂 I feel, well, somewhere between seen and called out (but very smug with my poster! 😁)

Most of my memorable moments are more the mommy porn verity: woman moves to the south of France/Italy/Spain to find herself through the hard work of directing construction workers. Once at a boarder crossing misunderstanding the words “don’t shoot I’m an American!” came out of my mouth. I was 17.

We're making all your websites shitty and evil. What are you gonna do, log off and spend time with your family

Horny in Maine: my unexplainable but also unshakable belief that flannel and mucking boots look “quite good actually”

It’s interesting that we talk about neediness so much, and it is a buzz kill, but also hi(!) I have walked this planet as a woman and I have heard loud and clear “too bossy.” The fantasy is the 100% confident domme, but my reality is “show me you want and actually appreciate the bossiness.”

😂

I am collapsed in a heap of “holy shit I cooked for 7 hours” but my spouse provides a lovely martini and will have the kitchen cleaned before I can move again so there is that. Yes, smug married lady content all the way down.

This year I didn’t feel like holiday cards - it takes a while and $150 - so I skipped it and told my partner where the leftover cards from years past were. I don’t think he’s touched them. Anyway, here’s a great tip to save $150 this holiday season…

Someday, I want to have a conversation with a gentle femdom/mommy dom who’s like a middle-aged suburban mom in the rest of her life because gentle femdom keeps feeling like they fetishized the mental load to me and what am I missing?! Is it finally being worshipped for doing the mental load?

I actually think classics in most genres and mediums are taught too early. The experience of being moved by a piece of writing, of having your world view shifted, happens when you see something so so relatable and yet…different. A lot of older writing, as this thread describes, isn’t relatable.