I…why are there gelatinous twigs in this bath bomb?! What happened?

I have decamped to the seaside, to a house opposite a working waterfront. The contemporary work songs are just as bawdy as they were in the 18th century 😅

The mantra of this vacation has been “do *not* buy a rug!” But now I’m a wine tasting in and the rugs are sooo fancy!

This hits the nail on the head so hard. Come for the education, find some absolute zingers in there for a bonus too!

This is why I find anti porn/age gate leftists disappointing. They always think there is going to be some sort of carve out for the virtuous. It never, ever does because the people who do the deciding are terrible people. This victims like this poor company.

Well, I was trying to motivate myself to go out but I think plans just changed to stay home, make dirty martini and fancy grilled cheese, watch husband do construction.

Today, after brunch cocktails, spouse and I met a man with a crate of dachshund puppies. It may be an act of god that we don’t currently own 4 dogs…

I have a lot of evening wear that never leaves the closet so I thought to solve this problem with season tickets to the symphony. Naturally now I’m shopping for clothing with an eye toward what I can wear to the symphony...

Ya’know, most of my kink limits are something about safety, or risk profile, or things I find un-fun. And then there is the odd one that definitely reads like those “do not use hairdryer in the bath” warning tags. A thing was tried and it was found to be…surprising.

Not sure why, maybe just end of year reflection, but I’ve been thinking about kink community (whatever that means to you). Some of it is also driven by @abundantmischief.bsky.social’s excellent post about not playing with newbies. For me, there’s a broad theme of barriers and best alternatives…

While you're waiting for the budget, why not pop over to my blog and check out today's NEW post. It is my hottest take of all time: You never have to have sex if you don't want to. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sex-sch...

Me every day: gosh I wish I had hours to just read or journal… Me on an 8 hour flight: I guess I’ll just sort of sit here staring into space?

I don’t think I thought through the day of bag inspections I had ahead of me when I took a convenient little pre-lunch detour to the latex clothing store.

I, a person who really thrives on 80* days, bright sun and palm trees, booked a trip to the UK in November. I was compelled by a mad desire to go to more museums, but, uh, what should I pack?

I have apparently hit the weird middle-age married lady toying with men at bars milestone? Is this that perimenopause people keep talking about? Unsuspecting bar patron: that seat is free, as long as you don’t bite Me: I only bite if you ask very veeeeery nicely, you’re safe.

Louder for the people in the back. Control is about what I want and what I get to use as I see fit. Denial is about what you want me to do to you.

The emergency advice I give most often is “alright, you need to identify the whole house water shutoff and turn it off.“ As I am not a plumber, I’m a little confused, but please take a moment to find your whole house shutoff for later. *note* turn off your water heater if water is off.

It’s harvest activity time again! Except I think the spouse was right and we’re just going to go pet farm animals and drink hard cider in a barn. After being denied donkeys I am kicking off a campaign for goats.

Trying to hold a map of London in my head long enough to try and pick a hotel. This is hopeless and I should just stay at that nice place by my old office?

I am once again begging the makers of at home “spa” products to label them as rental only or home owner safe. What am I supposed to do with the jelly foot bath after a nice soak?? Imagine pink rose scented jello clogging up my plumbing to relax at night?

Lady walking dog ahead of me in an incredibly sultry voice: “you are a bad boy. And everyone knows you’re a bad bad boy.” Do we think she is dissatisfied with the leash walking skill of the Shiba Inu, or do we think she is multitasking and doing phone sex while walking the dog?

Why yes, today’s gratitude practice is brought to you by “at worst it’s a $6,000 problem and not a house fire.”

Seriously, again?! I either need to stop using my good crêpe pan for any other uses no matter how tempting or get a service submissive for cookware maintenance.

Spending the morning reseasoning my carbon steel pan. Mistakes were made.

Yes, all kinks. I hate we live in a world where you have to worry having media critical discourse immediately turns into a censorship push.

Obergefell v. Hodges made me believe in the whole "arc of history bends towards justice." In the 90s, I didn't think gay marriage would be legalized in my lifetime because homophobia was so deeply ingrained. We would have never gotten here without the decision and now it may be overturned.

The first time I took my spouse to a romantic pick your own fruit activity he was incredulous, “we pay *them* to pick their fruit?!” My father in law just gave me a fruit picking quota for the day so this makes sense now.

Edmund White is a treasure. I am so sorry he’s gone but so delighted he had enough time on this earth to see Loves of My Life published.

It was a real mindfuck when my femdom literature and my religious literature crossed on the point of “active skilled receiving brings down gifts from the universe.”

Today while trying to find slides for a lecture I gave in 2018 I found, entirely unrelated, a PRD I wrote for an orgasm tracking app in 2012. I have to say, looking back with a decade of added professional experience, I did a pretty damn good job on the user journeys!

What a magical world we live in that I have to sternly admonish myself not to catcall a construction worker. It’s the kneepads and workmanlike behavior that does it for me. Clearly.

Terrible news, I have panic bought the latex skirt along with the recommended supplies to fuss latex. At least it meets my primary rule: I will only buy fetish wear that can be paired with either jeans or a white button down (ideally both).

I will not panic buy a latex skirt. I will not panic buy a latex skirt. I will not… *Because I never really learned how to wear latex and think it needs special care and supplies.

You know the idea that at a certain point in your career the way to get ahead is go to therapy? Was giving myself a pep talk before facilitating a workshop and realized what I need to work on as a facilitator of executive workshops is the same exact thing I need to work on as a top in my scenes.

Oh! One more: if you are told “a real sub/domme would…” and you have not negotiated specifically to be bullied or nudged in this way, run! There is no one real, there is “I prefer” or “only X works for me” but don’t let assholes rent space in your brain and then demand you repaint the walls.

I love my very productive garden, but after planting potatoes, squash, tomatoes, weeding the garlic, checking the apple trees…there is dirt in every pore and I am realizing there are two distinct seasons: gardening season and foot worship season. I’m just gonna be gritty till October.

I hate being a preachy old person but here goes: Sex changes as your life changes. Different values take center stage. This can mean leaning into & trusting kinks you’ve been scared to try and it can mean the opposite. If you’re picking a partner for more than the night, look at the full package.

just so we’re all clear: the reason they keep using dolls as their example is because they’re trying to frame caring about material stuff as feminine and thus inherently shameful

On the one hand, persistently trying to talk my spouse into farm animals. On the other hand, chasing geese and turkeys off with a broom. Spouse did get really into curating predators for mosquito control, so maybe a small goat for poultry control??

personally would like to see every store show what part of the price increase is due to tariffs bc if these tariffs ever come down, i need to see that price go right back down

Reminiscing about the early days of dating my spouse recently and can’t stop giggling over the mental math I imagine him doing: Well, this chick keeps talking about orgasm control, but she brought soup that one time I was sick, and she lives 3 blocks away, so I guess I’m marrying her.

Refreshing to see a big “brothel” bust without a bogus sex slave narrative… but with no savior fantasy, it really drives home how pointless this all is reason.com/2025/04/09/c...

Oh dear, spouse’s gentle nudging to spend time with a donkey before deciding to buy a donkey was…effective. I am so so allergic to donkeys. Or maybe just to Hydra??

I used to be good at languages. Now it took 6 months of duolingo and a French speaking spouse’s supportive tutoring to get a sandwich, a coffee, and the wrong kind of bottled water.

Guys, I said something about wanting a donkey and my spouse took me seriously and now he constantly brings me little facts about how hard donkeys are to keep and how expensive they end up being.

I don’t look at reddit much, but every so often I catch up on threads about how to get a vanilla wife interested in kink or how to make a dominant girlfriend more dominant and I ask myself, “should I run a class called ‘human factors engineering for kink’?”

I was incredibly unprepared for how *hungry* the shift from mostly yoga to weight training is making me. I have never in my life craved protein and WTF?!

Sure, I‘ll spend $4 and a couple hours on femdom alien romance… …how the hell are there 31 Brides of Kindred books?! Who has time to write this much??

Payback time. Bringing my “I’m just here for fun and stretching” vibe to GTX.

I am confused by the bros grunting in pain at yoga. My dude, it is Saturday morning slow flow, are you really trying to get personal best at touching your nose to your knees?