What’s the best language learning app?

My family is in Boston. Who should they fight for no reason?

Brushing up on Spanish over on that owl application and the stories are truly unhinged.

It’s cumming, right? This app is for freaks.

UPDATE, FOUR MONTHS LATER: Now they beat each other’s asses daily and nap peacefully on either side of me. Charlie still eats separately from Polly because he steals her food.

I was meeting with a director over Zoom today. I put my headphones in & my laptop started randomly playing the unedited audio of a toothpaste voiceover audition file. I screamed like my soul was exiting my anus & slammed the laptop shut. In conclusion, I can be booked via DDO Artists or RBEL. 🙏🏻

MISSISSIPPI MASALA WAS GREAT MUCH RESPECT TO BELLA MAMMA MIRA NAIR AND DOTTORE MAMDANI A BEAUTIFUL SICILIAN MUSLIM FAMIGLIA open.substack.com/pub/sarajben...

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Okay this is also true

This is absolutely correct.

One of the two feline models with whom I dwell. This is Charlie Chicago Catman, adopted from a cat rescue organization originally founded by a nun to care for animals while their elderly or ill owners received in-patient care…which is the most Chicago backstory I can imagine for a nonprofit.

WITCHING SEASON is sooooo close to being funded! Excited to have a story in this amazing anthology. Please support if you can. www.kickstarter.com/projects/phi... @cerealpancake.bsky.social @comicuno.bsky.social @philfalcowrites.bsky.social @tench.bsky.social

I couldn’t fall asleep, so I ate an ice cream cone and surely that will help

I've waited my whole life to hear a New York mayor say things like this

This genuinely is how I decorate year-round, with the exception of the actual pumpkin.

fellow sicilian-american here, this is the correct way to do it

Sobering news for a lot of top Democrats, tonight, as they realize people would prefer they actually fucking do something.

This genuinely is how I decorate year-round, with the exception of the actual pumpkin.

This is what happens when you have a candidate who is a former hip-hop artist. Well versed in the art of burying adversaries.

I knew the quote but it sailed right past me and I'm very glad people like Sara are pointing--pointedly!--it out.

My kitten and my elderly cat are both asleep and it’s like woooooow okay I guess neither of youse cares about democracy!!!!!

That was at once very gracious and inspiring and also a Sicilian ass speech. Zohraniello Mamdaniano. My hat is off to you, sir.

I was gasping. After opening with "yeah, we beat cuomo, that's it, we're done with that." Just sliiiiiiding that in there. (Your dad would hate what you've become, you bigoted prick).

YUP.

Zohran Mamdani quoting Mario Cuomo in his acceptance speech is nasty work and I love it. The Sicilian in me bows to his killer instinct.

“How am I doin’ ya?” -Horny Mayor Koch

This Mamdani acceptance speech is a barn burner.

Dude is probably the first mayor-elect to shout out Hunts Point in his acceptance speech, among about 100 other unprecedented things about Mr. Mamdani. ❤️

Ah yes, the requisite tired old Eugene Debs quote in a mayoral acceptance speech. (I’m kidding, this is fucking awesome.)

just want to remind everyone again that zohran is the one cis candidate i am aware of that had his platform on trans rights written by trans people. i think that matters

Those of you who are horned up for an NYC mayor for the very first time truly missed the faptastic epoch of erotic self-fingering that was the Ed Koch era. Lips (both kinds) and buttholes puckered at the mere mention of his name. Many of us remain tumescent at his glorious memory.

New York City has only ever had one sexy mayor, and that mayor…was Ed Koch. I know I’m just saying what you’re all thinking.

Some of these NYC relief fuck babies better at least have the middle name Zohran in 40+ weeks. Attribution is key!

I hope the young voters of New York City celebrate the way I did in 2008: screaming happily with strangers and overdosing on Magnolia Bakery items while doing my freelance job after getting out of my full-time job.

Tonight's even more proof the mainstream reporters who are still on Twitter are suffering from a brain problem akin Havana Syndrome that is preventing them from accurately doing their jobs. They are being cooked alive by a snuff-focused apartheid algorithm.

Shocked the Headless Body Topless Bar newspaper isn’t stoked for a progressive mayor.

Here is a newsletter for you and possibly yours. SaraJBenincasa.Substack.com

Today New York elects America’s Sweetheart, ED KOCH!

Farm kid here. Chicken shit smells the worst. Pig shit is a close second.

Wait til the end for VERY IMPORTANT JERSEY DEVIL INFO!

Porcine excrement and chicken shit are almost equally terrible, I agree! Children of the sticks, weigh in.

Wait til the end for VERY IMPORTANT JERSEY DEVIL INFO!

Hello, first YouTube upload in 6.5 years.

This story is developing nicely.

Hello, first YouTube upload in 6.5 years.

Wrote about my bizarre roommates (cats) in my free newsletter SARATONIN. Check it out at SaraJBenincasa.Substack.com

Will I ever pick up those clothes on the floor from when I was frantically digging through the hamper to find a specific thing to hand wash? The world may never know.

Wrote about my bizarre roommates (cats) in my free newsletter SARATONIN. Check it out at SaraJBenincasa.Substack.com