The kids are getting Easter baskets from my stepdad next weekend. So more is to come. Last year he gave my 2 month old a very full basket, which meant I got a lot of candy. 🙌

Yes yes yes. I gained weight in my 20s and I didn’t get pregnant til I was 31. It didn’t feel like I had a right to be okay with having gained weight without having kids—because the primary message for women about weight gain, softer curves, etc. —.

Happy Apple Factory! (Bonus: it was a homeschool group)

Riddle me this: You have to take an antibiotic every 6 hours, BUT not right before bedtime or while lying down. I’m sorry, do they expect me to sit upright for an hour in the middle of the night (for ten days)?

The book of Revelation is meant to reveal something to us about God. It is not meant to reveal some hidden plan about the fate of the United States.

Jesus didn’t command his followers to overthrow Rome to usher in the kingdom of God. Jesus taught his followers to live as though the kingdom was already here, and to make it so wherever need is still found - to comfort the brokenhearted, feed the hungry, welcome the stranger.

I am using periods instead of exclamation marks when I text my aunt. So I hope it’s clear we aren’t on very friendly terms.

It’s telling that they assume Piper means some sort of “no rules, just criminal immigrants” mentality, or whatever their idea of a ”liberal“ position is. Johnny P’s out here saying “God says to be kind to immigrants,” and apparently that cannot be done.

Living with a toddler makes you realize how little you actually know. “What is that?” “Flour.” “Why is it flour?” Never thought I’d deal with the existential nature of grains.

The Hallow app gives me the hugest ick because every promotion is a celebrity.

A woman asks for marriage advice on the internet. Response A: Your husband is abusive. Response B: Your husband is autistic.

Tell me 5 classes you took in college (guess my major and minor edition): Broadway and Hollywood Social Problems Communication of the Face Nietzsche And Kierkegaard Hebrew Language I

Left a voicemail for this guy.

My views on immigration forever changed when my high school classmate found out he was undocumented trying to sign up to join the US military.

I don’t know how to explain this, but Dave Franco does not look like a real person.

i think i’m fully in on “the white house is run by thirtysomething chuds who think grand strategy games are real life”

Losing my voice because I’m sick and have a 3 year old.

The only country my 3 year old wants back is New Zealand, so he can find out what color kiwis are.

This is the funniest sentence I have ever read.

“Bring back the 1980s vaccine schedule!” Right. Because we stopped learning in 1989.

Also, the most baffling internet posts are “how do I keep the cheer and warmth of the Christmas tree throughout winter?” 1. Don’t rush your Christmas decorations. 2. I have twinkle lights up year-round. I don’t care if it feels college dormy.

But, 16 more trips and I finally hit the highest reward of a free quarter zip, so really it’s an INVESTMENT.

👏

I have a special place on my heart for anyone with a brain tumor. I was stupid lucky with mine—and I’m an adult—so I cannot fathom the terror this sweet girl and her family are experiencing.

The Lazy Genius Facebook group has turned into a “help me get my husband to not suck” and I’m uncomfortable. But I still read the posts.

I keep thinking when we’re visiting family someone can watch the kids hike my husband and my go on a brunch date. But then I remembe the smell of hot coffee now nauseates me. 😭

This is the most insane thing I have ever heard.

I gave my grandpa framed pictures of my sons (9 months, 3yo) and he said “oh, it’s the twins.” So, dementia is a bummer.

🎁✨🎄GIVEAWAY🎁✨🎄 I’m giving away two copies of our book! To enter: -follow me - like & share this post -tag ppl for extra entries -share on a diff platform for extra entries -let me know in the comments! Runs through Friday 12/12. Many thanks to those who read and left reviews. ❤️

A school near us is doing a Christmas dress up day ever day for the next few weeks, and the parents must be going insane.

A former friend said that Sally’s cinnamon roll frosting was “too cream cheesy” and I shoukd have known then it would end badly.

You know what, I kinda think we maybe don’t need to stress about being “magic makers” for our kids. THE PRESSURE. Take care of them, look at leaves, pick flowers, make cookies, eat cookies, buy cookies. Look, cookies are the only magic a child needs (It’s me, I’m the child).

Day 3 of our landlord working on the electric on our house. Super fun to have someone to visit my parenting. So fun.

Yes. One time a friend told me she couldn’t imagine a holiday without any alcohol. I was absolutely baffled. My grandma was a recovering alcoholic and my husband has a lot of family against alcohol. We haven’t done holidays with anyone in my dad’s family in idk 17 years?!

Putting the baby down for his last nap and I hear the 3yo using tape. 😒

“Mommy, why is the Gruffalo a monster?” I don’t know, kid. Maybe his humidifier broke and dripped water on the wooden dresser soaking all of his spouse’s clothes, which you now need to dry, but you can’t put them away because the drawers are drying in the bedroom and that’s where the baby sleeps.

Humiliating.

Not for lack of the news on in my house, I did not learn this. Re-emerging after 4 years of homeschooling, I told my new public school friends in 7th grade that I wasn’t going to kiss anyone because it was oral sex.

Hey! The face of a woman without a brain tumor! Still! Praise be to God for a clear and stable MRI. And for oncologists who message you asap, so you find out very quickly.

sorry I can’t come I hate all my clothes

St. Louis core.

It's so weird to me that society is allowed to hate cats just because they have personal boundaries but anyone who dislikes dogs is a villain even though dogs do not respect people's personal boundaries. It's like dogs are gods and even humans have to bow to them.

INVENTOR OF THE LIBRARY: hey check this out

My latest episode for Mockingbird discusses how an episode of Bluey encouraged me as a parent by providing absolution instead of advice. For all the discouraged parents out there.

”He’s just saying stuff, he doesn’t mean it” as though our Lord Jesus Christ did not tell us that we would be judged for every careless word uttered

Me, now that hormones have made hot coffee taste and smell bad: This is the worse thing that has ever happened to me. Me to me: Honey, you had brain surgey. Still.

There’s this wellness influencer that I irrationally hate. And I just saw a reel where she said, “Our bodies are not meant to be in this constant homeostasis.” And like what. Also her last name ends in an -s and she signed her Christmas post “The last names ” not “the last nameses.”

The majority of my life I have heard people bash women’s and girls’ use of the word “like.” When you realize it’s a filler word like “um” and “uh” that are prevalent in everyone’s speaking (#yesallmen), your mind goes 🤯.

My introduction to autism was with “high needs” preschoolers and elementary kids. There were degrees of even that. It never even occurred to me that those who didn’t speak or did not speak anywhere near their grade level would be able to communicate with words in some way. This is very cool.

In general, we as a society really need to not film other people so much.