not going to worry about the rapture unless Waffle House closes

Thinking about the time I was at urgent care and texted my husband “no one else is here, should be out quickly” and then a girl came in with a shark bite

big week ahead, feeling nervous, this is my 35th rapture

Stay safe out there

One thing about me is I’m never going to let the lasagna set. That sucker is going right on my plate. We’re having lasagna soup, I guess. It’s fine

feeling sad, I do not have any exciting packages en route to me

Had to double check if this was real. It is.

I don’t know. 2025 was just not the ideal year to find out I have a brain aneurysm and have to be actively monitoring high blood pressure. Might as well send me up Everest

I am too old and set in my ways for YNAB to be changing the app layout this frequently

Maybe we are in the bad place because none of us forwarded those emails to 5 friends

the millennials yearn for precedented times

What a relief to find out I’m dead right now

And I’ve always said that

I think I’m getting scammed at my kids’ pretend grocery store. They are charging $25 million for a block of cheese. Does this sound right

I just broke down the cardboard boxes and put them in the recycling instead of throwing them into the garage. I am a master of productivity. I am efficient. I have my life together. The week before me is filled with unlimited possibilities.

I’d probably be more comfortable with technology taking over our lives if I could ever figure out how to order the correct amount of bananas from the grocery store

it’s just feeling like, we didn’t savor the whole binders full of women thing being the biggest political scandal enough

🎶 there’s gotta be more to life 🎶 than emptying dehumidifiers twice a day

Just watched an old Hot Pocket commercial and I am astounded they marketed those things by showing people biting directly into them immediately after removing them from the microwave. Because it’s like, the outside was 1200 degrees and the inside was probably still frozen

Friday is wet food day for the stray cats and I’m convinced they have a calendar and a clock because they showed up promptly at 4:56pm

Important update from New York Times: Senior investigators on the case say that the "transgender/antifa ideology" reports are "unverified, did not match other summaries of the evidence and might turn out to have been misread or misinterpreted."

No elected official Democratic party will be as cruel about Kirk's death as Mike Lee was about the death of Melissa Hortman. wisconsinexaminer.com/2025/06/17/s...

there was never going to be a world in which the right didn’t claim the left was celebrating the death of charlie kirk, no matter how respectable anyone tried to be.

100% true.

We interrupt this coverage of a shooting with another mass shooting at a school. www.cnn.com/2025/09/10/u...

settings > content & media > autoplay video & gifs = off

A lot of people lose their souls to MAGA and Trump. and I’m not just talking about people who voted for him. Don’t be one of those people.

Political violence disproportionately hurts people with less power, not people with more power. Political violence will disproportionately hurt people of color and women and LGBTQ people. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it works. Celebrating political violence means at best indifference to that.

It’s not simply important to denounce political violence because it looks bad not to. It’s the right thing to do on the merits. Even more specifically to this moment it’s important because the forces of fascism are inherently better at political violence than the forces of civic democracy.

don’t post anything you wouldn’t want being used to justify throwing you into a black site folks

Farewell Jerry Seinfeld

Reading a Bluey book tonight for bedtime when my 6yo says “that’s Jupiter. Not a stable surface. Mostly gaseous areas”

Is anyone else playing Skycards

the way this woman has single-handedly united a divided nation

Critical thinking is my cardio, some of yall need to think about your heart health

Grocery shopping when you have toddlers is tough because you have to somehow be prepared for a scenario in which for the past 3 months all they've wanted for breakfast is 2 turkey sausage links and strawberries, but now what they want is one singular piece of colby jack cheese (square shaped)

ESPN told me this was a “C” roster, and I would just like to ask, in what world?

I’m so sorry. I just heard the news. I really hope Jalen Heals.

nothing like doing your fantasy football draft two hours before the season starts 🙏🏻

I have more questions than I know what to do with

I miss who was before I watched the unknown number documentary

Mixing in some ranch seasoning so I have an excuse to eat a whole container of sour cream

Ryan Day has a very punchable face and not enough people are talking about this

Added emptying a second dehumidifier to the nighttime routine, devastating

This strain of covid sucks so much, do your best to avoid

My kids are so loud. They are fighting. They are laughing. They are playing. They are screaming. Did I mention it’s loud? But I just keep thinking, “they came home safe from school every day” and somehow, that’s remarkable enough in this country for me to be glad for the noise today.

My book is sold out on Amazon. That only ever happens for one reason. Wish it never had to exist at all.

“How much money do we have? Like, 400 grand?” -my 6 yo

that is quite literally his job, so