Tonight's activity. Only one thing wrong with Santa Carla...

Du hast ein... I knew GCSE German would come in handy one day.

Jesus wept. I know loneliness is an awful thing, but this is the reason that irons come with a warning not to iron clothes while wearing them.

Question: if I frisbee my laptop into the Mersey and claim temporary insanity, what's the worst that could happen?

Ageing (dis)gracefully. Learned a thing or two about eyebrows and fringes along the way.

Fucking hell, every episode of Bake Off is going to be three hours long with Nigella taking over from Prue Leith.

I don't work Mondays, and yet, due to some of the lazy shitehawk bollox I unfortunately work with, I will have to log on. Fuming.

This is America! 101 freeway in Downtown LA

How far are his supporters going to let him go to distract from the Epstein files? Until they're the ones being shot in the street?

Big Dunc was in The Winslow earlier, put money behind the bar for everyone. What a guy.

I don't mind telling you that I love Robbie's new album, Britpop. For any opinions on that, please see below.

Mate. MATE. M A T E.

Lucky eggs at the ready! Nuff people say they know they can't believe, Jamaica we have a bobsled team 🎶

Best typo EVER 🤣

83 years later? Same. And the world watches America, knowing how it ends.

How sweet is the note that came with my stray cat shelter 🥰

Fucking bitch.

I've known that Spotify was suspect for a while, but ICE recruitment and platforming right wing bullshit has given me the kick up the arse I needed. Off you fuck.

NICE agent in Canada. Can't fight fire with fire, this is the way.

Followed some animal rescue pages and I'm a little concerned that I'm going to end up like the little old woman who lived in a shoe, but with dogs.

Up the bus-stop resistance.

Appeasement didn't work in the 1930s, it just highlighted cowardice and led to catastrophic war. Stroking Trump's ego because you're scared isn't just a bad look.

Derek Acorah GBNF youtu.be/I8H_v8cM9CQ

Watching the greatest film ever made after de-Christmasing the house.

We love Dipshit Derek #SuckMyFatOne

Not your run-of-the-mill Pandora 💙

Celebrations for breakfast. Dry roasted peanuts for dinner. Festive pâté for tea. Sorted.

Cheers! Lovely day, but I'm overdue half a pint of Baileys. Hope you've all had a day full of love and joy x

Don't mind me, I'm just eating a giant Babybel like a savage.

Times like these, I miss my grandad. Christmas meant tag teaming the capitalist bastards, then he'd get pissed and sing The Red Flag. ✊🏻

I am the only person in work today. Suggestions welcome as to what mischief I can get up to.

6 year old niece: Aunty Shell, can I do your make up? Me:

Merry Christmas everyone! 🎅🏻🎄

Crying like a knobhead at Strictly 😭

Zack Polanski is absolutely savage in a very media savvy way. Socially acceptable verbal beatings all over the shop. I approve.

Staff team night out: a story in four pictures.

Jeanette Manrara just used the word 'juggernugget' and honestly, that's what I'll be using from now on. #ItTakesTwo #Strictly

I know social media is awash with hate speech, racism, misogyny etc. but no one talks about the issue of randy pensioners. Just bugger off.

I think we can all sympathise with Peter 💦

I'm reviewing a report where the writer has used an ellipsis in place of all full stops. I want to scoop out my eyeballs with a teaspoon.

Tickles me every year. It *is* a Christmas film.

About to watch Rocky single-handedly end The Cold War. What a shame Stallone has ended up hanging out of Trump's arse.

Got told off for playing with the wool in Dobbies so I ended up buying it. I can't knit. Merry Christmas, Mum.

I took my niece to the panto last night - Cinderella at The Epstein. We ate Skittles and ice-cream, got covered in fake snow and ended up soggy after the cast went mad with super soakers. A solid 8/10.

Know what I love? When you're the butt of everyone's jokes, but you are just enjoying your success in a joyous and dignified way, knowing that it's killing them. Up The Snidey Fucking Toffees!

This is the best thing I've seen in my entire life.

Maybe I follow too many grown ups.

No one on my feed is talking about Stranger Things. I need someone to geek out with.

Enjoying sheer nostalgia of watching Bullseye on a Sunday evening. Unacceptable prizes though, far too useful.

I'm in St. Helens and people keep calling me cocker.