Go birds

Let’s play around with cosmic distances shall we? Because I don’t think the human brain can actually understand it. But I’m gonna use rice, and say 1 grain = 10,000 miles (~16,000 km). That means the circumference of Earth is just under two and a half grains. These contain all our lives 🧪🔭 (1/n)

You and me both Bitbucket bitbucket.status.atlassian.com/incidents/t5...

Some of my friends think it's crummy that Mrs. Claus never has a story other than being Santa's wife, so they've taught their kid that it's Santa Claus and Dr. Claus—she's a professor of arctic studies with a lab at the North Pole, which is how she and Santa met.

[The 7 year old, randomly doing pushups] daddy, if this is too easy for you, you can do this [transitions to one handed pushups] and if it's still too easy, do this [pushups with a clap between each one] [me nodding as I finish my cookie] yeah buddy, sounds great

Daughter to Santa: “I would like a sizable donation to my 529.” Me, just out of Santa’s view: [Thumbs up, beaming]

This story knocked the wind out of me and i hope esquire paid this man. www.esquire.com/news-politic...

About to go into Kroger the night before Thanksgiving for Starbucks (the wife) and hot cheetos (the daughter). AMA

It arrived early! So excited to read @skamille.bsky.social’s new book!

modern society is so divorced from our food sources that most people who eat pop tarts have never actually killed one themselves

Excited for night ham

Spending the morning battling on the Shattered Plains

Someone suggested we just put Otto's face on the side of a Syracuse helmet, and you know what? I love it.

Coach is up in Heaven doing what he loves… throwing chairs at Angels

i’ll be honest: if some righteous little dude shows up at my door in a cool costume i will probably offer him candy any other day of the year too

So, ping pong?

Very excited to unveil my inaugural Bluesky post: “Football”