She’s everything. Go watch/listen now. If you’re somewhere cold this will remind you we’ll be warm and partying soon. If you’re somewhere warm put it on and dance naked for me.

Nymphia Wind ass poem

In my dream last night I went to a Wizard of Oz museum and they had something called the TikTok Tik-Tok Photo Experience and it was just this enormous glass cube with a 10 foot tall recreation id Tik-Tok from Return to Oz and when I tried to get a selfie with it, it fell over in the cube.

You know that big burly dude who wears a cowboy hat, whose whole social media presence is he just reacts to other videos and when someone says something completely absurd, or freaky, or out of pocket, he just shouts "WHUT???" like Foghorn Leghorn? That's me watching that Lizzo rant.

WISH MY HUGE LIL BRO THE GREATEST 40TH BIRTHDAY EVER!!! He deserves it. He is a king amongst the kingliest. He has the voice of an angel, the biceps of a Sisyphean boulder and coming soon, he’s going to sue you on my behalf! Now go tell him how great he is and has been for 40 whole ass years!

I’m feeling big this morning

I been treatmaxxing a little to close to the sun the last couple months, so it’s time to reign it in. That said, the protein ice latte at Dunkeez won’t be subjected to the same standards as the Nutella and Goldfish snacks I buy every time I go to the market and call them an ‘occasional indlugence’

Man, you hate to disappoint ‘em.

The Moment isn’t playing anywhere in Maine. I was just explaining to someone that one of the many reasons I gotta get the fuck out of here is I miss being able to see a real selection of movies at theaters that aren’t fucking dilapidated. And also, all the hot dudes are literally anywhere else.

Things could change of course, but at this time I am significantly more excited about seeing The Devil Wears Prada 2 than I am about seeing Doomsday.

I hate to be mean, and of course art is entirely subjective. That said, Age of Revelation was, to me, probably the biggest miss in the history of X-Men comics. I don't think a single book gets a grade above a C-. I don't think a single aspect of it was interesting. I hope it's forgotten forever

Chat am I gonna get murdered?

When I saw Pi, Aronofsky went on a short list of filmmakers I sought to emulate. The script for The Fountain was the inspiration for about 5 different scripts I wrote in my teens/20s. Sadly he’s migrated to the much longer list of artists I once looked up to who are just huge fucking disappointments

This fucking dude at the gym came up to me and aggressively told me I was using his station. Nothing marking it but totally fine. Just a cable station; there are 8. I moved immediately with apologies. This fucking manbaby has been passing me mumbling under his breath about etiquette for 30 minutes.

Not because any of you don’t already know this, but because we all have to rely on each other to reaffirm what’s real: wins like forcing Bovino into retirement or ICE getting out MPLS don’t mean that we’re good and life goes back to normal. It’ll be a long fight to get us to a very different normal

Anything can happen on a snow day

My ✨mirror self✨ giving me a quick briefing before the workout 🪞

Was walking around the hotels where lCE is staying (just to check nothing crazy is happening) and I found this little remnant of the parties my fellow Portlandites have been throwing every night to keep those goosestepping fucks awake and to punish the businesses catering to them.

I spend a lot of time now walking around Portland, making sure my neighbors are safe and there are no suspicious vehicles around. Mostly I feel like Gaga going to the Capitol and looking for evidence. But we keep it up because helping even just once makes feeling silly the rest of the time worth it

I wish this insanely stacked ginger at the gym knew that I would make him nut so much he’d get the floors of this Planet Fitness pregnant.

I am fully aware this is the pot calling the kettle black but there are some dudes on here that all of you seem to like who have - to me - absolutely atrocious vibes and I don’t understand how you’re not seeing what I’m seeing

Honestly, I really like that I’m being proven right about the fact that Antoni is the faggot Patrick Bateman and soon the world will see what I see behind his cold dead eyes. Mostly just cause I like when the simple truth that I’m always right bears out indisputably and I can lord it over everyone.

So a while back I said I didn’t have a twink death but I guess that was kind of incorrect? Me at 20 vs me at 40…

Get Rufus Wainwright off my fucking TV programs

When I wipe down the machines at the gym I really jerk off any vertical handles just so DL trade knows what I’m about.

Are Crunches significantly better than Planets Fitness? I am at the latter right now but Portland is opening up its first Crunch and I’m considering changing

I just know we can do it, guys. I really believe in us.

Okay 🚬s who among you has a connect at Apple Music? I’m making it my mission to convince them to commission @djsabrina.bsky.social to do a Pride Mix for 2026. I will already be blasting Fantasy at my Pride party this year but I want more. Help me make this happen.

Ushy gushy my pussy bonnana fana fo fussy fee fi mo mussy

Gay men really love to make you aware of the fetish/subculture contest they were crowned “Mr. _____” in.

Good time to remind everyone that what broke their world was not like a fascist government or environmental collapse or ANYTHING RELATED TO DECADES OF STAR TREK LORE but like just a weird baby who had out of control magic powers.

Good morning. Fashion from the Confessions of the a Shopaholic soundtrack is a better track than Fashion! from Artpop

Why are people talking about 2016 like it’s the ancient past and only The Keepers remember The Before Times??? Are you kidding me? Everything was the same. Same phones, consoles, social media. Do you have any idea what 2001 was like??? Want me to tell you about ‘amihotornot.com’ or Face The Jury???

Sorry I haven’t been posting thirst much lately. It turns out a constant stream of record cold days and the slow collapse of one’s country is a terrible distraction from the ultimate goal: finding someone to massage my tits.

I really wanted to root for her because ‘yes baby’ was a good track and I think releasing a pop record in the dead of winter is brave and also potentially brilliant move. That said, ‘locket’ by Madison Beer sucks. It’s so boring. I can never get that 34 minutes back (34 minutes??? Seriously, girl??)

Sometimes there really is nothing better than eating half a Costco rotisserie chicken at 11am and not having to worry about your protein goal for the rest of the day.

There’s something like 24,000 lCE agents but there are at least 50,000,000 people who just absolutely fucking hate them. So just remember those of us who despise these evil clicktatorship goosesteppers outnumber them at least 2,000 to 1. We’re not alone and we’re not powerless.

Ya’ll don’t appreciate my lore drops enough

Every time I hear Butterfly by Crazy Town, it takes me back to when I was 16 and my dad’s 23 year old girlfriend bragged to me at dinner that the most famous person she’d had sex with was Shifty Shellshock, and then she drove me home drunk. Later she was murdered by another man she was gold digging.

If Allison Janney has no fans I’m dead and there is no such thing as ghosts who can participate in fandom.

When I wake up too late so I have to skip breakfast to get to the gym on time then forget to make myself lunch

What It Sounds Like is the first song I’ve ever heard on Kellyoke that I don’t think Kelly sings it better than the original singer (I’m sure there are others. I haven’t seen every one). It’s not bad at all. Kelly sounds great, but genuinely EJAE owns that forever.

Sometimes I get sad that bara isn’t real, then I remember that Joe exists.

Totally missed that DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ put out a new album at the end of the year and it’s the only thing making my brain produce dopamine right now.

Slightly diminish a band: Eight Inch Nails

I’m not saying they SHOULD kill Michael Rappaport for real on Traitors. I’m just saying if they DO I’m not going to stop watching

This is why @nicoaction.com and I never needed Heated Rivalry as much as the rest of you.

People who back into parking spaces are so fucking melodramatic

Finally listening to the 10th & final season. When people ask about my boundless love for fiction podcasts Within the Wires is the first thing I mention. I’ll miss this show dearly. Congratulations to @j9andif.bsky.social & @happierman.bsky.social for creating such a rich, engaging story and world.

Sometimes I get sad that comic book characters aren’t real people that I can remind about embarrassing moments in their lives. (Gen X. Vol 1. #57)