Marijean Oldham (@marijean.bsky.social)

'Iced Lavender' by S A Greene As the back end of the 32 bus recedes down the Edgware Road, a breathless Prince Charming straightens his crown and curses. Fairy-Tale-Character Academy didn’t warn them about public transport. ‘Always Stay in Character’ was the only Learning Objective. ‘Be your destiny’ his tutors stressed. Destiny. That’s a laugh! Seems a golden crown, luxuriant curls and direct lineage from a land-grabbing warlord don’t guarantee eternal happiness these days. Or even satisfaction. Destiny should mean dwelling in a palace in Disneyland, looking down on the hoi-polloi from the saddle of a white stallion. Instead he’s teaching ballroom dancing to lumpen minor baronets before bussing it home to a bedsit in Dollis Hill and a doe-eyed wife who sings to mice. If only he hadn’t had that ridiculous glass slipper fetish once-upon-a-time. What was he thinking? He’d be better off with one of the stepsisters. At least they had an edge to them. Like they’d seen the bottom of a few Jack Daniels bottles. Rolled their own smokes with their toes. Enjoyed a good Rave… But no, he’d been obsessed by an undersized foot! A wolf in a crocheted bedjacket joins the bus queue, followed by a genie, a giant, and three piglets whinging about London house prices. Oh, to be that ordinary! Anonymous... Free… A woodcutter whistles at him, then turns and stalks into Starbucks, his silken stockings showcasing an exquisite pair of buttocks. Prince Charming blushes. Fairy-Tale-Character Academy never warned him about lumberjacks and Merry Men. Never mentioned the constant propositioning in hostelries, forests and changing-rooms. Never explained why he has to stay in character when everything in him that’s real strains to fling off his crown, run into Starbucks and buy two iced lavender lattes, shake out his monogrammed handkerchief, dab at the froth on the woodcutter’s waiting lips. --- S.A. Greene writes short fiction featuring capybaras, wombats, tables (kitchen, picnic, dining), a moray eel, a musical vagina, a foetus with a dodgy political agenda, whales, and a blue kitchen sponge. Her work has appeared in lovely places like Flash Flood, trampset, Mslexia, Janus, New Flash Fiction, Fictive Dream, The Phare, Reflex, Free Flash Fiction, Maudlin House and a number of anthologies. http://dlvr.it/TLLr9n