Showing Trump as effectively a greater disaster than COVID and 9/11.

Watching this on repeat how is your day going?

Rep. Thomas Massie introduced a bill to get rid of the Department of Education. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

move over, lowering egg prices

Nobody wants their 14-year-old working full-time on a farm. These rules are made to exploit immigrant and refugee minors. It's as disgusting as it gets.

When they killed Marie Antoinette, it was a Clear cut example of how a guillotine can behead someone. When they killed Louis XVI, that was a clear cut example of how poor positioning wouldn’t give you a clear cut.

It’s only a Neanderthal If it’s from the Neander Valley, otherwise it’s just sparkling Homo sapiens

I like the Avengers without Steve Rogers. No Cap.

It makes sense that Batman’s so salty. Have you heard his theme song?

Me: if only there were little cans of paint that I could use to test at home before committing Lowe’s Employee: hold my Behr. Me: oh, perfect!

I went for Chinese food yesterday, and a guy walked by me talking super fast, “oh my God, you’re amazing and smart and clever and handsome and decent and kind, so I know you’ll like this set of speakers, no? Ok, we’ll have a good day and god bless America.” That’s the last time I eat Pander Express

Absyrtus played his parts well, in a members-only wake.

I always felt that Monet’s work lacked focus.

The invention of the shovel was a groundbreaking technology. Whereas the innovation of a pole and a toothed crossbar was a ground-raking technology.

One of my better episodes:

Iam primum omnium satis constat Troia capta.