Elon Musk is currently taking notes.

Having a discussion about Duane Akina’s firing and whether he is going to take this as a sign to retire at the ripe old age of 70. During that discussion, I realized that coaching is a life saving endeavor because every one of these dudes is wired like a serial killer, but chose this instead.

Getting in the car to discover you forgot to take out one of the Christmas gifts.

My wife has entered Christmas baking mode. She just made coffee-flavored marshmallows. I might be cooked.

Hey Leonardo is having a mini moment on TikTok. There are a TON of people discovering that the lead singer of Blessed Union of Souls is Black and I find it hilarious. You mean to tell me you heard “She likes me for me, not because I look like Tyson Beckford…” and didn’t put that together.

Zooming in on Puka’s celebration after a big catch

My backlog watching me fire up JJK for a rewatch before the new season even though I just finished it in November:

As an early 2000s Big 12 football fan, let me walk you through this: When the QBs are cooking, it’s a problem with the defenses. When the defenses adjust, the offenses took a step back. Rinse. Repeat.

There are a lot of 16 seconds jokes I want to make, but I will refrain.

My wife, two weeks ago: Do you mind if I watch Heated Rivalry in bed tonight since (middle child) is home sick? Me last week: Why’d you watch the show without me? Now I’m invested in these hockey players’ love story. My wife, just now: Do you mind if I watch Heated Rivalry in bed tonight? Me:

The boys have been begging for a dog, so that’s going to be the big Christmas present this year. My wife told me to look at the animal rescue website and now I need to know exactly how many dogs I can adopt before it becomes a “bad idea.” LOOK AT WEMBY IN HIS SCARF! The scarf makes him French!

Teens mad at them for having one too few ventures, little kids mad at them for having one too many ventures

"I have not lost control of the House," I tell my wife when she gets home from work and sees 10,000 Legos spilled on the ground, no homework done, and all 4 kids swinging from the curtains.

Colt McCoy approves

“A traitor is just a patriot on the wrong side of winning.” Jay Kristoff continues to drop bars.

Wasn’t eligible to win any of the prizes at the work Christmas party since I picked them all. Still decided to hop in the “Guess the Christmas Song based on the Emoji” game and won by a WIDE margin.

Anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about Poona Ford. I said “someone GM is going to look like a genius picking him up late. Probably the Seahawks, because that’s what they do.” I’ve never felt smarter. Seeing a healthy, happy Macaulay Culkin being a ball knower makes my 80s baby heart sing.

I appreciate your consideration, but I must decline.

This is a post for a niche audience. Three years ago I read The Rage of Dragons, and it changed me. Think Count of Monte Cristo meets military fiction with African mythology and dragon WMDs. I devoured it and its sequel. The author is 14 months past deadline for the third book and I might die.

Glad to see he's doing well. The ND game, with the Swoopes game winning dive, remains one of my favorite UT wins. After Texas Longhorns, Tyrone Swoopes found his calling in East Texas share.google/gGkDYPwZwjfo...

Fine. I’ll rewatch Tombstone.

27-year-old former comsci student with a single github repo containing a single python script. If you aren't going to finish your degree, you can't expect to land a decent programming job when your only listed relevant experience is "earned a GPA of 4.0/4.0 before leaving the university"

This NYT story failed the reader by not digging deeper. One subject dropped out of college after one year (five years ago) and lists "Windows" as his skillset. Story should be: young conservatives who blame immigrants for their personal failures and whose lives won't be improved w/ fewer immigrants

Texas swim team. Every five points they drop a piece of clothing. Currently in Speedoes

Either Texas avoids playing Nebraska or Aggy gets reverse swept.

“Dad. Who’s Macy Gray?”

Watching the Rami Spider-Man with the boys. I miss the days before every actor had veneers.

I’m yelling at my tv for John to get up like I’m there

HENDRY. Incredible.

Miz. Truth. This is just beautiful. Cena has gotta be cheesing in the back.

Drew and Oba? Big meaty men slapping meat!

I don’t have time in my week to watch NXT on the regular, so this is one of my few times watching Oba fully. He’s doing the powerhouse routine so well. And good on Cody for being willing to get tossed around.

The crowd grunting before the music hits. Oba Femi is so over already. Get him to the main roster now.

Maybe YOU’RE running out of ideas because you laid off all of the people with good ideas @vox.com

I just had breakfast tacos, which I guess is technically beans on bread. Still the British are deviants.

You probably also don’t put shopping carts away and take up overhead bin space with a backpack that could fit under the seat. We should bring back shunning and shaming.

If he says “let me tell you something” I will explode.

I just saw like 10 seconds of Kyle Chandler and Aaron Pierre as Hal Jordan and John Stewart in Lanterns. Kyle Chandler in a mentor role? Coach Taylor? Would have been enough. But then they give me young John Stewart?!?

Jake and Oscar? Season already GOATed.

A few off the top: Andre Braugher in Brooklyn 99. Alexander Skarsgård in Murderbot Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie in Barbie

I’m seeing non-Texan leftists purity test Talarico and Crockett. As someone who has had Cornyn as his senator for the entirety of his adult life, I need to make this clear: I would vote to personally get kicked in the testicles every day for the entire six year term if it means getting rid of him.

Me, needing to book a Michigan guest for a bowl preview podcast:

the only architects of ai we should celebrate are allen iverson’s parents

The joys of people finding out who Biff Poggi is 😂

UM: Just don't cheat again. Moore: I will not cheat in football again. UM:...uh, that was oddly- Moore: BYE!

Lane Kiffin has the chance to do the funniest thing of all time

Omg, Kev. The boot you’ve been licking stepped on you?!?

I believe this about Sam Altman because at every turn he’s demonstrated that he doesn’t know how to be a human being.

I’m on an advisory committee for the local schools. Our ballot measure failed by 98 votes. It would have funded new band equipment and replacing 1/3 of our busses. We still need that equipment, so we have to include it in our next bond, so there’s an eight-figure reduction in campus improvements.